My PTSD Forum
The man next door is dying. A few weeks ago I happened to be walking by when his daughter was calling 911. I couldn't just keep walking; I asked if she needed help. Her elderly father was having heart failure and was having a panic attack. I breathed alongside him... inhale, exhale... rinse and repeat. No idea who it helped more - me or him. I felt his kind, gentle soul. His wife was trying to collect his meds and other things for the hospital, while his daughter stayed on the line with 911....
For the past 2 months, I have been seeing this guy, he lives 45 minutes away but does drive, going to college to earn his degree in Psychology, has a job and has his own place. Over these past 2 months him and I have gone out on 6 dates, varying from different events, really enjoying each other's company too.
During our time together we have also discussed a lot of things from us becoming Boyfriend/Girlfriend, to past relationships dealing with our Ex's to the future like kids, marriage,...
I feel crippled by my fears. My self-confidence is completely shot. I'm afraid to interview. I'm afraid that my insomnia will wreak havoc on my job performance. I spend all my time building up my skills. Just getting more and more skills. But I feel like I'm no closer to getting a job. I can control my anxiety with medication but there is no medication to fix my self-confidence. Has anyone else felt this way before?
Five weeks into therapy and I was pleased at how it was going. Then I made the ridiculous, basic level self protection mistake of telling her how distressed I'd been by having to watch that film. That I'd been so tempted to use the emergency handle on the door and throw myself out, that I'd been physically frozen afterwards for over an hour, that as I unfroze my immediate instinct was to look for a way to die. That it was only the fact there were others there, on holiday, who I couldn't...
As much as I want my mental health care providers to be everything I need them to be....they are human, so they are going to make mistakes.
I used to think about these mistakes or blunders or missteps in terms of tolerance: what am I willing to tolerate or overlook because the gains outweigh the negatives? I do still think in that way, but now there's this added question - do I say something?
An example: my therapist is prone to saying he will do something and then not doing it. I am...
I've had a history of either starving myself and being anorexic or bingeing, being overweight and purging or attempting to.
I am currently 15kg overweight and am so ashamed. I hate myself so much at the moment.
Today I stuck my fingers down my throat.
I don't remember the last time I did that. It's been so long ago. I don't know what is causing this intense pain and need to eat and eat and eat - it's been like this for a year now.
I just hate myself at the moment. I know they're not...
Just wondering if anyone has done empty chair therapy before? (Where you essentially talk to an empty chair and pretend there is someone sitting there).
It was suggested to me as a possibility about a year or so ago. I said no because I thought I'd feel too awkward and weird, talking to an empty chair, especially with a therapist there watching me, also because I thought I could deal with the issue in other ways.
Now I'm beginning to think the issue isn't resolved and wondering...
Ok, so yes, I am a few years behind the times....BUT, I am going on a "Catfish" bender as I can watch the first two seasons for free on Amazon prime. So right now I'm half way through season 2... (For those who don't know, "Catfish" is the name of a movie and subsequent TV show on MTV that focuses on people who lie about their identities online.)
At first it just made me sick to see how people can be so cruel to another by lying about their identity online. It may be a screen that...
Do you find with PTSD that having expectations or hope for improvements is a challenge in that as soon as you find you desire a change, you begin to be fatalistic or fearful it won't happen?
The most I have intrusions of the past trauma, and realize how hard life has actually been, the less I believe it can be better. Even though, I'm aware, this is exposure therapy, and I need to process my traumas. Gotta go through this.
Life feels like such a roller coaster ride. Ups and down, and...
This lesson I gained from going to this volunteering over the weekend has taught me to appreciate my ancestry and celebrate my culture and my ethnicity.
After so many years of struggle and so much abuse from childhood, I have finally learned a lesson in these last 2 days that where I belong is the best place. There is nothing wrong with being an Indian and actually there are many things to admire about my culture besides food, clothing, music. There are lots of values and lots of good...
Okay, sorry. Don't know where to put this, so "mods" please feel free to move. I have a very coda relationship with my mother who has ALZ/DEM and she is unable to advocate for herself. She is the source of my entire life's PTSD experience. I don't feel that I can sever this relationship as I am her comprehensive POA, but I am dying, stressing, freaking out. OMG. How do you deal with this? Boundaries work, references, whatever else would be welcome. Tks! VB
My case is on Wed and I am crash landing with stress. I have a way too full plate. I actually got sick for the first time in many years. On top of it my Mom is arriving on Thursday. My daughters car ot totaled and I need to deal with that. My T of 14 years informed me she is retiring. This all happening in the same week.
Ok so I feel like there is an avalanche of need to communicate all sorts of things that I have not been able to communiacte. And I feel so very very stuck each and every time I think that I want to start trying that I get stuck - frozen even. I am writing this in the hope that a very small start might lead to a little improvement here and there.
Anyone have any tips on what helped you get "unstuck" or started?
Thanks ever so much
Last night, I had this epiphany that hit me like a truck. I've known for a bit that the abuse I've endured for a long time has convinced me that I was "unworthy of love" if I messed up in any way. I was always striving for perfect and nothing less, and it crushed me when the PTSD and Depression started to prevent that from happening.
So this epiphany went back on the "unworthy of love" concept, of conditional worth. It's not just that I wasn't loved when I did something wrong - I was taught...
Page 1 of 2