My PTSD Forum
I am in a dilemma about taking SSRI's.
My doc prescribed Paxil to me after having a chat with her about the horrible PMS I've been having. The PMS is pretty extreme, it causes violent rage, anxiety and the urge to harm myself.
The thing is that I am learning to deal with the rage and the anxiety in a constructive way -calming myself rather than hurting myself for it -but obviously it wasn't going very well yet because when the hormones take over I lose all self control.
I am worried...
To dad: i hate you you. I hope you are rotting in hell. you ruined my life!!! How could you? I hope you suffer every time i shed a tear.
I cant even have normal intimacy with my husband. Its like im being raped or tortured by you!! My nightmares come alive. i start crying. Wtf. All i see is you. Disgusting you!!!!!!!!!
What hurts the most is how bad i hurt my husband.
And now its just me up and all alone
Its dark. I just sit here and drink my beer and try to keep moving...
After 1 year and 4 month struggle, going through so many emotional and physical ups and downs, taking 7-10 pills a day, going to the interview with full body rash (head to toe, mouth ulcers, tongue ulcers), I am finally happy to announce that I've Got A JOB!
I am very happy for making it to this employment world after so much trouble. However, at the same time I am a bit anxious about couple of questions that are running in my head:
a) will I come up to their expectations?
b) It's a 6...
How to let go of the past?
Okay how do I let go of everyone that I felt has crossed me and did me wrong? The people that told me, I have your back and when in reality they did not. How do I let go of my mother not being a parent and not guarding me from a world that is so effing messed up? How can I let go of my father not teaching me how to be a man? How can I let go of how I use to help my sister when she had kids and when I had mine she could not be there? How can I let go of everyone...
I can flirt/approach (barely) girls I find mildly attractive but not really all the way. Ever since I was 13 (i'm 20 now) i've been settling for girls at "the bottom of the barrel" if you will...
The girls i'm really attracted to I always get WAY to nervous and petrified to talk to.
Part of the reason is because i'm only 5'2" and the girls I like are really social party girls who usually go out with guys who are 5'9-6'0" so I feel like i'm really unattractive to them. I only rarely see...
Sam and I were in a relationship for 7 years on and off, but the last 4 years were solid. I was engaged to him for 3 years.
There were some parts of the relationship that were absolutely amazing. I really put myself out there for him. Like constantly surprising him and showing him how much I cared. He was my childhood sweetheart. I know I'm only 21, but it's really hard coming out of such an intense relationship.
In the last couple of years he got really controlling. It got to the point...
Summary: I recently left my husband who was emotionally and financially abusing me. It was terrifying, but with the help of CARDV, I have been able to leave and pick up the pieces of my life.
But he couldn't just let me leave. He's now petitioning to gain full custody of my daughter, who was born before we were married. He's trying to claim I'm an unfit mother and will no doubt cite my PTSD as a reason. But I've been in treatment and my doctor said my daughter is at no risk. I've actually...
well my boyfriends mother knows of my ptsd she understand it and she is pretty sympathetic although she feels that i "rely on him too much" "making him sad" when that is not the case my boyfriends dad committed suicide about 2 years ago and lately he's been thinking about it and has gone into a minor depression so it seems, he reasures me all the time that i do not rely on him at all intact i withhold stressing him out by burdening him with my issues when he is going through such a rough...
Who doesn't want to change. Stop giving chances to someone who abuses your forgiveness. Stop walking back to the place where your heart ran from. Stop trusting their words, and ignoring their actions. Stop giving your all to a person who gives you nothing. Stop fighting for a relationship when you're standing in the ring alone. Stop breaking your own heart.
Tumblr has made it so that everything is triggering, from birds to grass to blood to baths. Because of this no one takes me seriously when I say things like violence and yelling trigger me and cause me to have panic attacks. Someone was yelling at me the other day and then when I was hyperventilating they laughed at me and shouted "What?! Am I 'triggering' you?!" I have had many anxiety and panic attacks because no one takes me seriously when I mention my triggers. I use tumblr and some...
I don't expect to get it - but that doesn't negate my feeling that I should be entitled to compensation - to be made whole, to be put back into tne position I woukd have been had the events never transpired. There are problems with this, however - first and foremost the fact my abuser has been dead for 16 years. Ah, dear old dad, may he burn in Hell for all eternity.
The real issue is that I am becoming increasingly angry with the rest of my family, mother and older siblings. I used to...
Had a bad experience today when crying the room started spinning down into darkness. A child part made me hide. Only until I curled up and hid did my crying stop and the room stop spinning. I thought of leaving the hiding place, but I heard a voice inside say very firmly and urgently "You Hide!"
Anytime I tried to leave, I heard her yell "You Hide!"
I ended up hiding in a locked room for hours feeling this has happened before, maybe several times, when I was a kid. I remembered hiding...
I'm sorry if this is already a thread somewhere. It seems trauma can disrupt or alter ones baseline or essence as a person. Is it possible to figure out what that was or is it constantly changing and it doesn't matter anyway? Not sure if my question makes sense but would be interested in any thoughts anyone may have on this.
I have been trying to work through things with my therapist about my childhood. It has been going on for a couple years now. I actually have 2 therapists, 1 from the VA and one from a private hospital. They think if I talk about everything I will get better. It's been 30 years since I was a kid. My brain has kept these emotions in my head for 30 years!
Now they want me to get them out. They think I am angry at family and whoever...and I am. The problem is I was suicidal as a kid. I almost...
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