My PTSD Forum
I've noticed that my triggers/PTSD symptoms are significantly reduced when I limit contact with the outside world. Although I don't want to live an isolated life over the long term, I want to know why I can't listen to that need if that's what my body and mind is telling me I need right now?
When your trauma and depression is caused by life circumstance, why do health professionals prescribe anti-depressants? Is it an attempt to escape reality instead of facing it? I have tried anti-depressants and they do nothing to rectify the reality, therefore the trauma and depression remains.
With the support and examples of the members on this forum, I finally summoned enough courage to share several sadistic memories of my CSA. It was physically painful to even make words come out of my mouth. There wasn't an immediate reduction in my flashback and intrusive memories. Just last night it occurred to me that I actually can't bring to mind those pictures! How awesome is that?
All these years that I was held captive by the threats of telling my story. A post @Chava shared about...
If no one was abused and this includes all types of abuse (domestic violence, child labor, sexual,verbal, emotional, child abandonment, animal abuse, slavery, physical abuse, genital mutilation and much more? ).
If everyone wasn't running after: name, fame, money, status, class, land?
If there was NO war, cultural/religious/racial hate.
I don't want to include religion because some people here do believe in it so don't want to hurt their feelings (Although I also believe that religion...
Okay, so I think this is the main thing I'm trying to work on right and something that is incredibly hard to do. I know rationally that people don't try to hurt me most of the time or aren't planning to leave me. However, this doesn't stop me from noticing everything. My friend left for a game that she said we could go to together without me, No one said good morning when I came downstairs, people were unusually quiet around me at the office, etc. I can't shake it. It's small stuff that I...
We can chat a bit anonymously. This feels extra shameful, like therapist don't even want to hear about it. But I was physically and sexually abused by my mom. She was a stranger to me...possibly BPD or DID....never an obvious, nurturing Mom. She scared me more than anything in the world. I have had to work through loads of self hatred, body hatred, suicide attempts, trying to take care of myself but not believing I really have the right to exist. Also, I don't have any close...
I've been a member since my wife (of almost 12 years) had her first flashback in 2012, but this is my first time posting.
In the last few months her new memories have been dragging up child abuse of unfathomable depravity and at an increasing rate to the point where she has no time to recover from one to the next, and each seems to bring up something even more disturbing than the last. I can;t even comprehend some of the things that happened to her, but they just keep coming.
This happens in therapy...we are assuming a sort of stuck or "freeze" response....wanting to push away or shield myself, while simultaneously wanting to connect (confusion of abuse coming from primary caregiver). So we're trying to separate out these impulses so that I don't have to feel stuck with that shaking and stuck in general. I haven't gotten very far but that's basically what that's about. Not sure if anyone relates to that sort of body response.
But now sometimes my arm is shaking...
Well i made it. I did take your afvice and took one step at a time and went in to my first day at the partial hospital program. It was intense and hard and emtionally exhausting but i did it. I white knuckled my way thru my anxiety and panic and got thru the day and everyone seemed very supportive. I just need to meet with psych on monday to talk about meds... I think i need something..,
But thank you to everyone who replied to me... I needed all your words of help and encouragement!
I have a few questions from your own experiences:
(1) Has anyone done donation-based therapy or support groups with a $1-35 suggested donation? I can't afford to pay more that $1 (I could push to $5) because my resources are devoted elsewhere. I just feel badly about using a therapist without paying fully.
(2) Has anyone ever gone to a sexual assault survivor group when their sexual assault was "only" an attempted rape, not a completed rape or even a violent attack? I feel like I am...
Just wondered if other supporters experience this. The longer I am with my guy, the more 'rules' he seems to implement concerning what behaviour is acceptable in his house/presence. I understand that this is an attempt to control his environment to avoid things that make him anxious. He's explained this, and I can kind-of relate, as I have acted a bit like that at times in the past, when my anxiety was very bad.
Some of them are reasonable rules (e.g. don't drive any closer to the car in...
OK, this is probably going to sound really weird, but here goes. We've seen it all anyway, eh?
A couple of years ago my T did with me what she called a Centering exercise. We stood face to face and did a guided meditation for a few minutes, then she told me to look at her. Well, for one thing, my eye contact in therapy sucks, so this was a big deal all on its own. When I did look at her, I felt a wave of energy come from her heart, up out of her mouth, saw it cross the room, then it entered...
I am struggling with a strong, strong, strong attraction to a married man. Every time I am around him, I get calm, excited, happy, a little anxious, and just enjoy his company a ton.
Not that he's interested in me....but I feel like if he were to initiate anything, I'd cast my morals aside because I've never felt this attraction before to someone...and being around him makes me feel so much more alive.
Anyone experienced this? advice? help?
Please no condemnation...I didn't ask for this...
2 flashbacks this week. One is new, one is one that I get off and on. I went almost one month without flashbacks or nightmares. Why? When will these be over with?! Ugh, sorry guys I am just in a very sour mood. My migraines have upped their intensity again and apparently so has my PTSD.
The new flashback came after I got a call from a debt collector. He was pulling the threatening strings of "This will go to legal standing if you don't pay by Friday." My mind thought that meant going to...
Recently, my husband has been gone working more, and I feel more stressed in having to take care of our more difficult child. She is the age I was during abuse, and I love her so much. This is causing real stress for me.
I've noticed that during the day with all that I do, I start dissociating and suddenly feel like my hands are dirty. I just feel "dirty." And I can't recall washing up. I just cant' focus and remember if I washed them just now or not. Even from walking out of the restroom....
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