My PTSD Forum
Lost my mom in past year...have a father who is a psychopath or sociopath. So manipulative. While he pretends to have compassion - he doesn't. It's all a show. Says the most insensitive things, and only concerned about himself.
Even in time of great need - always judgment - judgment - judgment. Lesson to be taught to me. And I was a good kid. Most parent's would have wanted a child like me...responsible, great grades, honor student, volunteered, helped those in need. Even as an adult he...
A little background: my PTSD service pooch has Addisons Disease. Her adrenal glands don't produce the stress hormones cortisol and aldosterone. She is monitored for her electrolytes and gets a shot once a month of synthetic aldosterone. As well, she takes a .05mg of prednisone daily. If she has too much stress I can give her an extra prednisone, but we don't want to give her more prednisone than absolutely necessary due to its toxic effect on the kidneys and liver.
At Christmas I took her...
When my spasms and pain release I get like flooded with energy. I feel GOOD, not particularly stressed out, but nearly passed out today because I have inner zoomies so bad...it was like a gush of adrenaline, likely with pulse and blood sugar elevated (I know because these are too high when I've gone in to ER with similar symptoms and arrhythmia...they just wait for me to settle down). It sounds a bit bipolar, which I don't have, though I know I lean a bit to extremes and for me pain locks up...
I am terribly embarrassed of everything I have ever done.
There is not one part of my life I don't look back on and cringe.
It's really difficult for me, has caused some of the worst self loathing I've had.
I've shut myself in the house away from everyone because I don't want to make an embarrassment anymore.
The main cringes are times where I've felt confident then I've looked back and felt I really shouldn't have been. It's really hard
I'm a 20-year-old girl struggling with PTSD as a result of multiple prolonged traumas, starting off when I was too young to even remember and continuing in different forms until very recently.
I'm in CBT/PE and find it very helpful. I was just a kid the first time I asked for help (both for the abuse at home, the bullying at school and my own mental health), but even though I kept reaching out for help over and over for more than eight years no one took me seriously and most...
I live in a relatively rural part of the UK. Living here has helped a lot with my Ptsd, I used to love coming home from a busy day at work and the minute I got home, all the stress left me as I was surrounded by nature and my loving partner. We both love this life, as well as each other, we fit each other perfectly...no fights or argument, a deep respect for each other....a life many would want. In Nov I was made redundant...I had previously found myself unemployed while with my partner...I...
Nightmares are my most prevalent trigger and the one I can't avoid!
I was on a plane that nearly crashed years ago, the latest in a series of traumatic episodes throughout my existence, and I have suffered from nightmares continuously since. They differ from night to night, but all have a common theme: being in an untenable situation that I have no power or control over: falling off a cliff, landing up on death row, being pursued by dangerous street gangs -- just to name a few. Sometimes, I...
In the last year I have come on leaps and bounds. I don't get flashbacks, I don't self harm for the last few months, I got through suicidal thoughts, I've improved how I relate to people. I socialise. I am less numb.
Now, last week my T asked me to reflect on how far I have come in the last year. I don't know why, I got really upset. I can't cry (haven't in a long time) but I came close. I went completely mute for 15-20 mins.
We are both confused. He says normally when he asks that...
I have been in therapy for 3 years. My T diagnosed me with cPTSD and everything finally made sense. She really saved my life with her commitment to me. I recently had a session where uncomfortable things came up, I am not sure whether they are true or not, just appeared in my mind. I don't like to attribute potentially false meanings to random memories, nor was I encouraged to, so I chose to leave this where it is and haven't returned to therapy for several months. Since then I have been...
It occurred to me today that each and every time I had issues somewhere that I could not sort out (which seemed to be everywhere), I had to run away to give myself relief. This has turned into a vicious cycle or having less tolerance (cause this ain't my first rodeo anymore), and then booting it.
I don't really seem to think through the 'booting it to where?' issue and whether that would be good for me in the long run. I was, during the time of my PTSD presenting itself, a freeze/fawner...
Hi everybody...I'm in a bit of a bad place right now...just looking for some connection I guess. Something to remind me who I am now because I'm not being able to do this on my own very well. Have tried all my strategies to get grounded...can't do it. Hot drinks, holding ice, eating, breathing, mindful movement, relaxation meditation, hot shower...yikes. This has been going on since yesterday afternoon and I can't seem to get a handle on it.
I am traveling for work. Flew here yesterday...
So my husband (sufferer) and I's life has been turned upside down for a while now. Still living with my mother-in-law, but we're slowly on the track to get back on our own two feet and I'm trying to do the best I can getting us there as he's kind of been in major freeze mode. We decided not to move because my husband just couldn't handle the stress and the though of moving from our little support network seemed like not a good idea at all.
My husband told me last night that he hasn't been...
I am in a dilemma about taking SSRI's.
My doc prescribed Paxil to me after having a chat with her about the horrible PMS I've been having. The PMS is pretty extreme, it causes violent rage, anxiety and the urge to harm myself.
The thing is that I am learning to deal with the rage and the anxiety in a constructive way -calming myself rather than hurting myself for it -but obviously it wasn't going very well yet because when the hormones take over I lose all self control.
I am worried...
To dad: i hate you you. I hope you are rotting in hell. you ruined my life!!! How could you? I hope you suffer every time i shed a tear.
I cant even have normal intimacy with my husband. Its like im being raped or tortured by you!! My nightmares come alive. i start crying. Wtf. All i see is you. Disgusting you!!!!!!!!!
What hurts the most is how bad i hurt my husband.
And now its just me up and all alone
Its dark. I just sit here and drink my beer and try to keep moving...
After 1 year and 4 month struggle, going through so many emotional and physical ups and downs, taking 7-10 pills a day, going to the interview with full body rash (head to toe, mouth ulcers, tongue ulcers), I am finally happy to announce that I've Got A JOB!
I am very happy for making it to this employment world after so much trouble. However, at the same time I am a bit anxious about couple of questions that are running in my head:
a) will I come up to their expectations?
b) It's a 6...
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