My PTSD Forum
My son is graduating high school in a few weeks, and with that comes the whole range of traditional celebrations. There is the graduation ceremony itself, a dinner, then I am throwing him an open house-type party.
My son has decided that he wants to invite his absentee dad and his extended family to his open house. My ex (who is not my sufferer) is remarried, and his wife doesn't like my kids and doesn't like my ex to see them. My ex is a coward, so rather than argue with her about seeing...
When I was at school I was touched (genitals he inserted his fingers) by a boy a year older than me in the film room (where it was dark of course) This went on for about a year, I didn't like it but never told a teacher or anyone. Is this sexual abuse or is it classed as "child play"?
I considered it sexual abuse but have been doing some research on child on child sexual abuse and it has left me wondering if I have got it wrong.
I have been in therapy for this on and off over the years. Have...
I've been sexualized since before I can remember. When I married for the second time I married someone who was very into BDSM. There were plenty of times I really enjoyed it. But there was no safety.
The whole thing is.. confusing and frustrating because even though I am a female I find I can only satisfy myself if I watch really graphic and violent porn. I am so ashamed I can't tell my therapist.
I don't know WHY. I'm angry with myself. I know that I can't be in a relationship ever...
I wrecked a cousin's life-size doll by ripping her a bit, and giving her a hole so I could molest her. It was like my coolest achievement around age six. We went beyond I'll show you if you show me and doctor. We were using fingers and this all seemed really natural to me. And how we'd play with dolls...give them holes so we could molest them too. Seem normal? Or too abnormal (somewhere are 5-8 yrs btw)? Or anyone else experience play like that?
I'm not sure about related memories. I...
Rest assured anyone reading this thread that I will not be covered in his blood any time soon. One thing I have learnt in the last 2 years of recovery after my breakdown is self control. My entire family knows exactly what level of violence I can meet out when I flip as I see red and there have been times when (A) in my adulthood has tried and failed badly to bully me on several occasions, I have come close to hospitalizing him a few times now.
OK, so a totally safe conversation in the...
For now I'd like to go by the name Messi. When I was four years old I experienced something very traumatic. I was burned on my chin, and my right arm. I had to endure the pain of countless surgeries just to try and look normal according to society. At some point in my life when I was still a child I cried to my mother because I didn't want to go through the pain anymore and would rather look the way I did then to suffer from the surgeries. Growing up it was very hard to make friends. Kids...
Today I just finished a long weekend of group therapy (T was one of the two therapist's running it), it was really hard. I was already having a really rough week leading up to it, hadn't been to work for the first 3 days last week because of mental health reasons, then Thursday and Friday I was really sick with a respiratory infection. Then this weekend brought up some new, and old stuff in my past that I wasn't prepared for. I was prepared for things to come up, just not with such...
All week I have been on vacation. Vacations, I have begun too figure out, are not very positive for me. I don't mean on vacation like going somewhere, but just a regular school vacation (I'm a teacher). So vacations for me mean more down time and more time with my family. I feel horrible saying it, but both of those are not very positive for me right now.
My kids trigger me and though I have had some good interactions with them, mostly I have been avoiding them. And my husband is...
Please move this if it's in the wrong category. I wasn't sure where to put it.
I truly don't understand this up and down thing. I really don't. I don't know if it's the stress I've been going through in real time or if it's the amount of time I've been dealing with this whole trauma thing (10 yrs on a conscious level), but I truly wish someone(s) could explain this up and down instability. It's freaking me, making me want to give up, taking away my light and resiliency. I find it hard...
My wife and I have been married for over 8 years. At first I did not realize she had PTSD from childhood, I still don't know what caused this maybe the death of her sibling when she was young, not sure. It seems every time I leave to go do something with friends she gets triggered, or any time I am out of town she gets triggered. It's been so bad lately she is hiring an attorney to get a divorce. I have done nothing but try to be supportive of her. It's just I am tired of walking on egg...
I know I'm in this deep hole - and in a lot of ways it feels soooooooo hopeless. At times I think in very suicidal terms. But I don't really want that - I want off the roller coaster, I want some quiet peaceful place to think things through.
I've been trying to achieve ONE small goal for a month - get back on my bike and start training again - and I look at it, and think about it, and say today is the day - and it never happens, then I just feel bad about that.
The bad stuff though -...
My fiance of 6 months is an Iraqi vet. 100% disabled ptsd. We are so similar and get along amazingly. Not a day goes by we don't make each other happy at least once but sometimes we go through periods where he gets so angry with me about everything and distant and mean and basically one foot out of the door. Then we fight and break up for a couple of hours then we are fine again. He doesn't take his medication and I didn't think he needed it but ten days ago he wrote a Facebook speech...
Is now the proud father of a beautiful little of puppies, they were born yesterday. It was very stressful yet exciting. Three came out backwards which was very stressful but we coped fine. They are going to be very cute. Has anyone got cute little puppie photos or dog photos you would like to share ? It's a great way to cheer people up bu seeing cute little dog photos ( and cat photos )
I'm a pound great gran mother to these puppies.
First post on here, so hi!
So, I was with someone from July 2013 till Friday. I had told him before we started dating that I had been sexually assaulted the year before and at that moment in time, I only mainly had flashbacks and would get upset at times. Over the past 2ish years my PTSD has gotten a lot worse, to the point where even if he was trying to comfort me I would freak out, I wouldn't want to be touched, and I wanted to flee during every intense discussion we had.
It has now...
I say "non-adults" because this disgust has extended to affection toward dogs. That's right. I am a total dog lover. But dogs. Also dogs. Let me explain.
I developed what I imagined to be a normal distaste for kissing my parents when I was around puberty. This has now developed to the point where just typing the phrase "kissing my parents" makes me want to vomit all over my keyboard. As a footnote, my primary trauma was sibling incest, not parental incest.
I first noticed how bad it was...
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