My PTSD Forum
Ok so I've been mulling over this since i woke this morning. And I've wondered in a general manner as to why in the case of multiple trauma only some things cause PTSD.
For me the things that have caused my PTSD have been sexual abuse as a child by a family member and a rape and sexual assault when I was 14 by a man twice my age. Yet I went on to be raped again several times by a boyfriend when I was 17 in quite a humiliating manner. These last attacks though, have not caused PTSD even...
I seem to experience shame in perpetuity.
I have three main categories of self harm: planned relief/gratification, impulsive relief/gratification, and shame-based impulsive self-punishment. These days, pretty much since I started therapy again about a month and a half ago, impulsive shame-based self-harm has been chief, I'd say, in my symptoms.
Shame has always been a massive issue for me. Literally always. My first memories of close calls with impulsive self-harm were wanting to stab...
I absolutely resent myself for resenting everything.
Something in my personality just wants to piss on everything, complain about everything, and despise everybody. I don't want to let go of stuff, I don't want to be okay with anything - I want to just sit in a corner and mumble "no", like an angry toddler.
My response to everything, and to every trigger, is something along the lines of "get lost", and "leave me alone". I don't want to deal with it. I can deal with it, but I prefer to...
I am a 30 year old man. 15 years ago I experienced an Internet chat that forever changed my life. To many, the experience sounds funny, it's pathetic really, its' weak. I was in a teen chat room chatting when some person began sending me dirty chats. At the time this was in the late 1990's and I really didn't know I could just, "close" the window or block them. I'm slow, I guess. The person revealed he was an older guy (so not a teen in a teen chat room) and pretty much started talking in...
Since relocating for my new job several weeks ago, I have not had a single day where I could just be alone with myself. I am constantly surrounded by people -- at work all day, then staying in very close quarters with a colleague at night. It is beginning to drive me a bit mad. I am the type of person who needs some time alone each day, otherwise I will freak out. But current circumstances will not allow me that time. Do you guys have any tips for how to decompress and deal with this? So...
Sometimes, everything just seems too loud. The rustle of the plastic bag the cat is playing with, the swish of my husbands jeans pant legs as the brush past each other as he walks.
And I get this sensation that I don't have words for. but the best way to explain it, is that my body makes me feel squeamish. Because my skin is there I feel squeamish. No logic to it at all.
I can't type at that point because the sensation from the tips of my fingers on the keyboard is overwhelming. It...
Thank you all for your wonderful posts and threads about these issues. I am not a stranger to PTSD but until recently I had never known any combat veterans. I met this guy on a dating website. He seemed genuinely interested in me and we got along pretty well. We talked for hours and he seemed to like me a lot - he kept telling me how rad he thought I was and that he wanted a serious girlfriend. We had been talking daily for hours via skype and finally I arranged to meet him / hang...
One of the most striking things about my life post PTSD is how isolated I've become due to the simple fact that I can't bring myself to fake it with people anymore. I can no longer come up with fake stories about who I am, where I grew up, how I grew up, who my parents are, what they did for a living, why I dropped out of college, the list is endless. When I first got out of my parents' house, I shot out like a cannon spewing lies, lies, lies like a natural to every face I met. I could go...
so I got a concussion from the car accident I was in in March.
I've been so irritated. So anxious. So frustrated. So depressed. So discouraged.
I don't even know if it's just from the concussion or from the actual accident.
Has anyone had a concussion and felt this pyschological symptoms?
One of the things I noticed, is that I find myself extremely disconnected from reality.
I know I am, because I'll freak out, or react in a negative manner at times, unnecessarily.
For example, someone will do or say something and to me it feels like they're trying to start a fight or they're being aggressive, so I'll be extremely defensive and sometimes call them out on what seems to me, to be an attack. They'll look at me with a very confusing look on their face, like ''What is wrong with...
So, well, my major issue is anxiety and motivation. I just feel like nothing I do is going to make a difference so why try? So, well, I try everything I can think of cognately; however, am wondering if I should try Lexapro again. Unlike Zoloft which I recently tried (nightmare), I didn't have side effects, but I remember feeling like anxiety was in a box in my tummy. I just wonder if SSRIs are meant to treat a really anxiety-based issue. I did try Buspar years ago without success, but...
I struggle with PTSD. I couldn't tell you when it happened or when I technically was officially able to be labeled along with numerous PTSD sufferers, but it's there. I know that now. Sometimes I forget it's there and I function like any other happy, youthful almost 26 yr old female, but then I have my bad days.
You don't wake up knowing when a flashback will happen. It's not the equivalent of waking up and being like "God this day is going to blow so hard" I have days I wake up walking on...
Okay, so I know I haven't posted on here in a while, but there's been a lot going on.
Okay, so about a month ago I had to go to the ER from the group home I live in because I needed stitches. When I got to the ER, they doctor said I should go back inpatient instead of returning to resi, so they kept me in the ER for a freaking week (!!) while they figured out what to do with me. Then they said that the resi didn't want me back because I was too 'critical' - but my parents could take me...
Have any of you used sound or vibrational therapy as a healing tool along with your regular therapy? I've figured out that sound and sound vibrations are the easiest way to help me out of periods of shutdown (feeling like I'm immobilized or dying...nevermind that on some level I know I'm not...it feels impossible).
Sound seems to be something I can access from almost any state. And it has a direct influence on my jittery or chaotic nervous system, especially if sound is going right into my...
So Im almost done with therapy for my ptsd due to MST and war in the army. Im so stressed out on now going through the process of claiming ptsd and MST in the army..I know its a never ending battle with them and years of proving this or that...anyone have a easier way to the process i have to go through?
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