My PTSD Forum
A few months ago I was witness to a deadly car accident.
There was a single driver involved, no passengers and I was witness to the body after the accident and as they were taking it away in a black bag.
I didn't know the person, never met them in my life and couldn't tell you much about them other than they had caramel skin.
Although I didn't know this person, or anything remotely about them, I still feel a very deep sense of loss. I worry about the family of this individual who was...
In December 2014 I was sitting in my boyfriends brand new car we had just purchased earlier that day. I was inside the car located inside a parking garage (third level) in downtown of my city, because he was supposed to be running in to take care of something for work for about half and hour and then we had plans to grab dinner afterwards. After about an hour I learned that it was taking much longer than planned, so I grabbed my phone and began watching Hulu to distract myself. About another...
I think I have finally made a breakthrough with my fear of trusting anyone. I have been having a rough go for the past several months. But a dream I had enlightened me just a little and it feels ok now.
My dream was about my new T and I blindfolded her to take her to "the house of horrors" where I grew up. We went in the house and I showed her the things that happened to me. The house showed all the gorry details of my past, which is weird because holes have been repaired, rooms have changed...
Tomorrow marks my lovely littlest baby girls Birthday, she will be six years old. The one child I realize I should not have a particular soft spot for but you see she had a slightly different birth to that of her siblings. She used to go to nursery telling all her friends "M" "T" and "K" were all born by nurses, I was born by Daddy! and she was right, you see all of my other children had a midwife led labor, Not my little "Hannah"
NOPE, she decided at 1100 pm that she wanted IN to the...
I think I saw my mom/abuser but it left me feeling like I was seeing an old person who merely resembles her.
Because I haven't had contact in 4 years, and because I'm having flashback of her abuse, it seems surreal. It's like seeing a ghost or imposter trying to look like her.
What is this feeling? It's a mixture of sadness, fear, disgust, pity, and I don't know what? It's like when a friend made fake throw up (sick) out of everything in the refrigerator and dumped it on me, and...
My therapist told me im working too hard in therapy and I'm not sure how I feel about it. It's actually the second time she has brought it up and she made an effort to mention it again. She told me I am always working really hard on getting better and analyzing my thoughts and experiences which is good but that I may increase my stress level by doing this. She said it's really important that I accept the times I feel peaceful and not analyze it or read psychology or anything like that. I...
It seems I've gotten real stuck again the past few weeks. I wake up from nightmares with paralyzing trauma, then after several hours, I shut down, completely dissociation. I honestly don't know which is worse. They are both very painful and leave me feeling helpless.
i cant stop i know its wrong to think this way and i should be positive but i honestly feel so lost and alone.
i have such an amazing group of friends but i feel so worthless and detached and its eating me inside. even when im around them.
its a headache and my body feels heavy i want to live normally. but i just cant stop thinking negatively. help please.
like i'll be around my friends and be all happy and then all of a sudden i'll just randomly shut down and bring down everybody's mood....
I had an appointment with the division of vocational rehabilitation today. I was triggered beyond reason while there. I asked to do a phone meeting instead of in person so I could walk off the anxiety. This was denied. I was told I must go in person immediately or get no services, no rescheduling. I went. I couldn't stop shaking. I asked to be left alone for 5 minutes. I never got it. I kept crying and shaking.
I left. They just emailed me saying they closed my case. I broke the...
Okay, so it's been over four days...might as well say five since I've last eaten. The last thing I had was bbq pizza and hot wings. After I ate them I started to feel the way I did when I started eating to get my rapist cousin to see me as less desirable. I was always a really petite little girl, I've always been very short and didn't weigh much but after I started to get raped I starting eating to get fat in order to disgust my cousin that continued to rape me.
Eventually I started to...
So tomorrow is the day I've got a 100 mile drive for a work training session. It's probably twice as far again as I've ever driven in my eight years of driving, and on a motorway, which I've never driven on before.
It seems a stupid thing to get anxious about. I've done the journey as a passenger several times. I know its not difficult, I know in reality it's not even that far, but to me it seems like I'm tackling the impossible. Right now I'm doing the I'm not getting anxious because I'm...
This thread is a take off on my "Love is Dangerous" thread in which @FridayJones posted a reply stating that there are a number of different types of love and they aren't linear as many of us are lead to believe.
I found an article which discusses the 6 types of love according to the Ancient Greeks. I'll post the link and briefly mention each type.
6 Types of...
I have complex ptsd after a lifetime of abuse from birth with no 'before'.
I want to try somatic experiencing but cant find a therapist north of London!!
Does anyone know of a therapist in the North?
How does anyone fund therapy - if complex ptsd leaves you unable to work and earn how do you then pay for therapy?
best wishes x
I am really weepy emotionaly cracking and have been falling down for a while now. I have tried to combat the depretion from sucking me down but I am losing this fight horribly.
I went to dinner on Monday night with an aquaintance who mentioned a mutal aquaintance that has cancer and continued with empathy, sypathy and loads of concern. I freaking cracked. I went off at her and I said something I most likely should not have. To anyone that has faught cancer please don't take this...
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