My PTSD Forum
About four years ago I was talking to my cousin in general conversation about childhood and mentioned that I oddly knew a lot about sex at a very young age. Then she said that my grandpa was very open about sex and evey topic and left it at that. After that I remembered him exposing my sister and i to porn but didn't remember till later that he
made me promise him to keep
it a secret after my sister and I were fighting over a piece of
paper he gave to her he had
printed. With the porn was...
I've been trying to write this all afternoon. Not sure I can.
I'm so tired of fighting. What really have I got to look forward to? MORE of this?! More wondering what's going to slap me sideways with a trigger? I've been triggered all week. It never really gets better does it?
My therapist guessed it today when I said I hadn't done any of my runs this week.
He kept saying that it gets better and that the only reason I feel like this right now is because I've just had one trigger after...
I'm at a friends house. She is having an international food potluck - everyone brought dishes from other countries. There are about 30 people here. It's a really nice group of people, I don't feel awkward being around them. I got through the dinner, and we are just hanging out chatting. I got a ride witha friend here, and she is driving me back home, but not anytime soon. We will probably leave in another hour or so,
I took 1/4 a tab of Ativan before I came and it's making me overly...
I have this inner critical voice just won't let up, used to be able to block it out. Almost like it is sabotaging all progress have made in therapy.
I am not sure what to do
Also been diagnosed with DDNOS and Complex PTSD, seems like such a struggle all the time
The little girl, barely age six. if that, awoke, but still couldn't move. She tried to scream over and over but nothing escaped her lips. Something very powerful and evil was in the room. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity the screams left her lips. She cried out for someone to come, but knew it was futile. The grownups kept her in a makeshift garage while they were in bedrooms on the opposite side of the house from the garage door. They got mad when she cried, but she was so...
I have had an awful episode of anxiety today. I started an intensive outpatient treatment program for my depression/anxiety symptoms this past week and know that that plus the fact that my suffering online friend, S, has told me he is not ready to meet me in person is causing some form of emotional trigger.
I am calmer now but this feeling of "losing control" is so hard to deal with and I wonder what is happening to me. I have purchased two books now, one for myself about complex...
What do you think?
Whilst this is purely an example story based on the recent trial for Chris Kyle... do you think PTSD is attributable to violence?
Here is my example for why I do believe PTSD has a correlation to violence.
Before the military I hated fighting. Despised it. If I could talk my way out of it, or get away, I would. Fighting was an absolutely...
Today I was reading something that dealt with some triggering topics for me. When I have to face something that brings up uncomfortable memories, usually a lot of chattering will commence. I'll try to grin and talk over the pain in my head with desperate attempts at humor, irony, an artificially light attitude, defenses, superwoman posturing like, "Nothing can hurt me," callousness, whatever--just anything to move around the pain/shame/embarrassment/regret rather than through it. Today I...
My psych will be in a new office starting this week. I've been seeing her for a little over a year; we have a session in the new space on Thursday. So much anxiety for so many reasons, which bothers me because I think for most people this wouldn't be a big deal. I'm considering emailing her about this stuff but it seems excessive and I feel nitpicky and I don't like emailing or calling in between because I want her to have her time (she has an open email/call policy and frequently...
With help from my therapists, I've been working hard on confronting a bunch of fears. Despite the fact that I have a long way to go on my giant list of trauma and fears, I'm pleased with progress so far.
One surprise, however, is that anxiety remains strong, despite substantially reduced fear. I had assumed that the two were inextricably connected.
I think my body is stuck in a loop. Does anyone else have any insight into the relationship between fear and anxiety?
I've noticed that my triggers/PTSD symptoms are significantly reduced when I limit contact with the outside world. Although I don't want to live an isolated life over the long term, I want to know why I can't listen to that need if that's what my body and mind is telling me I need right now?
When your trauma and depression is caused by life circumstance, why do health professionals prescribe anti-depressants? Is it an attempt to escape reality instead of facing it? I have tried anti-depressants and they do nothing to rectify the reality, therefore the trauma and depression remains.
With the support and examples of the members on this forum, I finally summoned enough courage to share several sadistic memories of my CSA. It was physically painful to even make words come out of my mouth. There wasn't an immediate reduction in my flashback and intrusive memories. Just last night it occurred to me that I actually can't bring to mind those pictures! How awesome is that?
All these years that I was held captive by the threats of telling my story. A post @Chava shared about...
If no one was abused and this includes all types of abuse (domestic violence, child labor, sexual,verbal, emotional, child abandonment, animal abuse, slavery, physical abuse, genital mutilation and much more? ).
If everyone wasn't running after: name, fame, money, status, class, land?
If there was NO war, cultural/religious/racial hate.
I don't want to include religion because some people here do believe in it so don't want to hurt their feelings (Although I also believe that religion...
Okay, so I think this is the main thing I'm trying to work on right and something that is incredibly hard to do. I know rationally that people don't try to hurt me most of the time or aren't planning to leave me. However, this doesn't stop me from noticing everything. My friend left for a game that she said we could go to together without me, No one said good morning when I came downstairs, people were unusually quiet around me at the office, etc. I can't shake it. It's small stuff that I...
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