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Stuck Half Way on Way Home - Anxiety vs. Crowded Train

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nugget

MyPTSD Pro
Hi to all hope you are doing the best you can. Well i had a weird day on friday, (was feeling rather crap after thursdays exposure theropy) Woke up had a coffee then started to do my home theropy listerning to my taped session with my psycologist before i made my way to see my psychatrist. All was going well my wife and son drove me to the train station dropped me off i boarded the train shit the train was packed so up went my level of anxiety i stayed as calm as possible half an hour later i was in town to change trains. Having forgotten that the Adelaide Royal Show was in mid flight hence the full train things started to slowly go down hill. My next train was not on its normal platform christ more panic i sorted myself out by slipping out for t/away coffee came back to t/station found my train but because of the show my train was not running at its normal time slots a wee bit more panic. But all was well i kept telling myself im on my way to see my psychatrist i had calmed down fairly well after my appt so off i went to catch the train back to Adelaide.I normaly stop for coffee and a toilet break before i catch my second train to have a break and a little rest. After my rest stop i went off to catch the train i almost got inside the train station when my anxiety levels shot through the roof so back to my safe place i have found at the station breathing stretching nothing was working. So i decided to take an hour off well the hour lasted about six before i calmed down enough to catch my train ? Was it because i haddent fully calmed down from home theropy the extra crowds i couldnt work it out still cant. If i put all the little things together it makes sence normaly i get little signs when things start to go pear shaped but this realy rattled me i only fully calmed down when i walked in the front door and was greated by my beautiful wife and a great big hug love the wife hate the symptons hope i havent rambled on to much but thats the way i filled in thirteen hours on friday:wall:
 
Oh, I can get it. How you make on trains to begin with is beyond me, you are doing excellent IMO doing so. So you had a moment, we all do. After my therapy I just could not calm enough to go home to 4 kids and hubs. I wanted everyone down befor I got back, I was 4 hours late coming home. Don't fret, it happens to us all, though it still sucks.

One thing that stuck out, coffee. I loved my coffee and cokes. The smell has to just do for me now. They said no stimulants at all for me. After my caffeine withdrawals things did improve some. Caffeine seems to do a number on taking anxiety to a higher level. I was very stressed at first but I developed a taste for sprite zero. No sugar or caffeine, I swore I could never drink it but that is the only thing I can have close to coke. And coffee is just a memory now, as de-caf still has caffeine. You may not think it has an impact but you will notice it does once you quit. If I take an OTC med with caffeine in it for a headache I am all over the place and my anxiety levels go through the roof. It really does make a difference and anything to calm me and my mind I was willing to do. It may be something to take into consideration or you can just tell me to blow it out my backside, I know some are very protective of their coffee! I have debated trying de-caf to see how it would effect me...
 
Nugget, normal reactions considering the circumstances, as you just came from therapy. I give you huge credit for pushing yourself that far in one hit. The good thing... and I would like you to experiement with this, because your going to see huge differences in the way you go on a train.

I am hopeing that you catch the train again next time. Why? Because what you will find next time, is that your sensations are less than what you just experienced. Why? Because you did all this, and you still made it home safe. Nothing bad happened, nothing life threatening. You just got in a crowded train, and nothing but anxiety caused by your mental perception changed. No physical harm came to you. You mind was just taught a lessen that the trains are safe, because you did all this and made it home. Your brain will now no longer react the same next time you get on a crowded train.

How to get around anxiety. Breathing and relaxation are all good, but they never worked for me. What works? Stop, clear your head, gather your thoughts about being where you are, in a crowd, whatever the case may be, then tell yourself within your mind, you are safe and this crowd is not here to hurt me, they just also want to get where they want to go, just as I do. Mental perception is stronger than anything else... because your brain is whats causing the anxiety to begin with. If you give your brain reason to be not anxious about getting on a crowded train, it won't be. Mental preparation and ongoing mental self talk. All these people just want to get to their destinations, as do you.

Here is an even better one to ground you. Start up a conversation with a complete stranger upon that train. Say hello, how are you, what to you do for a living, discuss your interests, or favourite footy team, something that is passionate too you, find a mutual discussion topic, chat away with a perfect stranger on the train, then see how much scope is left for your brain to become anxious... anxiety will dissipate / simply not present because your mind is kept busy having a discussion with a stranger, a person you are learning about, talking about life with. It works... trust me.

Oh... a huge well done nugget on your efforts. Exceptional effort and achievement doing what you did. Well done.
 
Nugget,

Well done, that is one hell of a hurdle and all in the one day!!
 
Thanks you for your praises it was a very hard day indeed between this forum and my wife,doctors the light at the end of the tunnel has started to glow again once again thank you to all
 
anthony said:
Here is an even better one to ground you. Start up a conversation with a complete stranger upon that train. Say hello, how are you, what to you do for a living, discuss your interests, or favourite footy team, something that is passionate too you, find a mutual discussion topic, chat away with a perfect stranger on the train, then see how much scope is left for your brain to become anxious... anxiety will dissipate / simply not present because your mind is kept busy having a discussion with a stranger, a person you are learning about, talking about life with. It works... trust me.


Reverse the effects on anxiety if attempted in Britain!! :tongue:

Well done, Nugget. The terror of panicking is enhanced when you feel trapped or stranded far from your bolt holes (or beautiful wife!) Your nerves were ragged to begin with, your unique and traumatised, identity at its most vulnerable and raw, so you were primed for any subsequent abrasive experience. I have found the shock of other people difficult to deal with when my head is brimming with my personal truths, which set me aside from what most people live through. It's a potent trigger for stress and overwhelming feelings. It's good that you made yourself safe even if it meant sacrificing so much time. It would be interesting to see how your reactions alter in similar circumstances in the future. :thumbs-up
 
climbs in

Gee I love therapy.

I got to make up an 'escape plan' for christmas. Basically how o keep me safe without scaring the shit out of the rellies.

I really couldn't give a shit. If it weren't for the kids, I'd just let me swing with the wind.
 
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