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General Are There Any Wives Girlfriends Of Vietnam Vets Here?

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I'm sorry, but if you had any idea what you were talking about, you would know that your "heiarchy" comments are disrespectful. Do you think I'm on this board making this argument because I think it's fun?

Well controlled research? For combat trauma? Someone is truely in the dark here. Maybe you could try counting the number of things and people they shoot at in civilian life when they get ticked off about something. You might want to add in, the number of people they've attacked or beaten. If you want the research controlled, maybe you could call in the National Guard to try and control them, since that's what it would take.

Or maybe you could try and get a clue that there was no "treatment" for anyone until more recently, even for guys who shoot at people and things on a regular basis. And....unless they want treatment, there still is no treatment for them because no one is going to chase their mentally ill butts down, and make them get it. And usually, if they are so ill they are shooting at things, they defintely would not be sitting around worrying about why they should or should not seek treatement, sinse they are too ill to realize anything is wrong with them in the first place. So therefore, your assumptions about why your guy or any vets don't seek treatment are just wrong.


If you were actually living with a guy who was this ill, you would not be trying to make prim and proper statements about feelings and research. You would be very disshelved, and on this board terrified and scared, at your witts end, not knowning how to find protection and safety. Have you ever had the exprience of trying to run and hide from a guy trained in gorrilla warfare who was having a flashback? Didn't think so, since your posts dont' reflect that.


Any questions?
 
Let's all just take a deep breath here & calm down. I think the issue is not the PTSD diagnosis but the resulting behaviour. I will write more later but I think you are looking at things from a different perspective & getting all heated up doesn't really change anything. I can see both points of view.
 
Sorry if that post was heated, but I also have PTSD, and have been trying to avoid a confrontational argument in this thread. Getting my buttons pushed is not good for me, and I do not mean to sound rude. But this also reflects the problems associated with the traumatized, unable to get along with the "non traumatized". I do need to remember, it's not your fault that you do not understand.

Here is what I should have quoted earlier instead of getting aggrovated:

"The most important factor effecting the likelihood of developing PTSD, however, are the severity, duration, and proximity, of an individual's exposure to the traumatic event. The NVVRS findings revealed that the prevelence of PTSD and other postwar adjustment problems is significantly higher among Vietnam veterans with high levels of exposure to combat than among their military peers who did not serve in Vietnam and among Vietnam veterans with lower levels of exposure".

This is a quote from the book, "War in the Age of Technology", by Geoffrey Jensen, and Andrew Wiest.
 
I am the original poster of this the question in this thread. My guy has complex ptsd. He was abused severely as a child and then special forces recon in Vietnam. He saw unbelievable things. How can I say this? He never feels that because of all the stuff he went through, that his PTSD should be considered worse than the guy, for example who was responsible for getting our dead combat soldiers ready to go back home. He says that everyones experience in Vietnam was different and a person's emotional constitution so to speak has alot to do with whether or not he would get PTSD. He said some who saw very little combat might get it and it would be just as bad for them, as for him. It's all relative, he would say.

I do understand what TGRL said about trying to run and hide from a guy experienced in gorilla warfare. I used to think about that when my guy was at his worst and we would break up. There would be no place I could hide and nothing I could do should he choose to act violently toward me, which he never did. But it is a sobering amd actually frightening thought.

Kat
 
which he never did
.....you have no idea.

I think we should all pay attention to the published studies and findings I just posted. My father was NOT exposed to very little. He was exposed to a great deal. I'm getting so tired of this. Do you all not get what it would be like for a child to live with one of these guys? Of course you wouldn't sinse your guys aren't that bad off. You have no idea, none at all and it's quite obvious from the things you're saying. Keep aruging with me. Did a single one you even stop to think about WHY I'm posting and arguing this point? No, of course you didn't. You're all arguing with me for only God knows why, because I surely don't know why you're doing it. I don't even think you know why you're doing it.

I'm not advocating for people to pay attention for the cost of not helping them on children or anything. So just keep it up. You're in Never Never Land wanting sympathy for grown men with a few problems.

Your guy could have repressed memories, and he's not an expert psychologist, no offense. People with complex PTSD don't reason well. They're notorious for thinking their problems aren't as bad as everyone else's. I think the same about me. But I don't think the same about other people I have wittnessed first hand.

Look at the published data people, it's right there in black and white. I have to get out of the "non traumatized" thread of non understanding people before I freak.

Remember, it's SEVERITY, DURATION, and PROMITIY". All three of these factors, not one or the other.
 
Do you all not get what it would be like for a child to live with one of these guys? Of course you wouldn't sinse your guys aren't that bad off. You have no idea, none at all and it's quite obvious from the things you're saying.

I am sorry but I think you are out of line making such asumptions on other people's behalves. It is not for you to judge another person's situation and diminish them against yours as you are only on the outside looking in.
 
I do not mean to sound rude.

I wouldn't say rude but you are being rather aggressive in your comments. I am not sure what the real issue is here and why you are so angry when others do not see things exactly as you do.

I do need to remember, it's not your fault that you do not understand.

Tgrl I would like to point out you are in the Carers section and we are here to support and help each other and learn what we can in order to support our Sufferers. I find your comment above somewhat demeaning to those of us who want to learn and are here trying to do so.

I am sorry but I have been here for over 2 years and I still try to learn more every day and help other Carers help themselves to inturn help their Sufferers so all can have a better quality of life.

You may well be knowledgeable in combat PTSD and we welcome you coming here and sharing that information but please don't try and put others down or diminish their pain due to it. This is about supporting each other and is not a competition about who knows more.
 
TGRL, I just read this entire thread after being asked, and it is you who is arguing with people here. I would even say, you are trying to be right or to justify your own abuse from your parent who had PTSD due to conflict. Sorry, but this doesn't fly with me. This is a carer area, and not for any person with PTSD to be arguing against carers. Please stop it.

Pam, I believe you are confusing what combat PTSD is. Combat PTSD is not something given to some veterans and not others, it is a name for any person who has served in the military and been on operational duty... regardless, land, sea or air, if its operational duty, it is combat PTSD. It is having to put your training into action, find it works, survive and come home that makes it combat PTSD.

I think this is where some other discussion in this thread has gone sideways as a result of what combat PTSD is.

Combat PTSD is not worse than any other type of PTSD, it is a name given to easily identify that a soldier has served in an operational zone. What makes combat PTSD individually worse, is that soldiers are trained to be aggressive, hypervigilant, etc etc. It is these aspects which are also symptoms of PTSD... the problem with veterans, is that as part of our training we have actually been given symptoms of PTSD without even going to war. When we go to war, when we are exposed to trauma, this makes those specific symptoms much much worse than a civilian with PTSD from abuse, MVA, etc.

Complex PTSD is actually the worst of all PTSD. Combat PTSD is just a form of PTSD, but its the volatility of the training the makes the individuals, the veterans, much worse and volatile than others with PTSD.

Secondary PTSD as a result of a child from a veteran can near mimic the symptoms of the veteran depending on the severity of their entire lifestyle... even border complex PTSD if the child was exposed from a young age and for a long duration. Secondary PTSD for family members of veterans when diagnosed, very usually comes out as CPTSD because their entire behavioural pattern is far from normal from what a childs should be.

There really is no need to argue over this though! TGRL... please remember, even if you are a carer and sufferer, you are speaking with carers in this section, not sufferers.
 
Anthony thanks for the clarification on combat ptsd. I was unaware of its label definition being so broad. Your comments are helpful to me in understanding my C, who is trying to heal and live his life in a more peaceful manner. He has made, by his own admission, steps forward. I wish I could take some of that credit but both of us consider VA counselors, lots of medication, and C's own healing work as the real reasons.
 
I just realized something. I watch the military channel with C and sometimes he actually sees his ship in historical videos. He was trained every day to stay hypervigilant on the deck. They even talked about that when explaining the colored shirts and what each division needs to be alert about. C was trained to never, ever, turn his back on the action. But then a plane came in and crashed, leaving debris that was then blown all over the place by the jet engines. It killed a member of his crew (nearly cut him in half at the stomach) and left him with a crushed jaw and, as it turned out, a head injury. Putting two and two together, no wonder his home furniture is placed against walls and he never sits to eat at the table if he can help it. When we are at the tavern he can manage a short period sitting in an unprotected place but as soon as his normal table is available, he gets up and sits in his normal place, which is the back of the room table and he is facing out. That table is also next to the bathroom. C told me he needs to know who goes in so that he knows who comes out (is he head counting?):think:.
 
TGRL, I just read this entire thread after being asked, and it is you who is arguing with people here. I would even say, you are trying to be right or to justify your own abuse from your parent who had PTSD due to conflict. Sorry, but this doesn't fly with me. This is a carer area, and not for any person with PTSD to be arguing against carers. Please stop it.
I'm very sorry for aruging, I wish I wasn't the only one apologizing. On the internet I see posts where people are saying they were turned down for VA benefits for PTSD, because they have NOT attacked their families 'YET'. And they say they like how they tell them they have not done it "yet". Am wrong to "justify" when I have this knowledge ?

Anthony, I'm also a carer. I loved my father a great deal. PROXIMITY. I was in it for a long, long time, DURATION. It wasn't my choice, and effecteed my entire family. SEVERITY.

I do respect what you're trying to do in "protecting" the carers point of view. :dontknow:

Here's some more food for thought. When children get PTSD from a veteran parent, many times it's secondary, but it's also primary. They have no one to turn to, no counceling set up anywhere. They cannot file for any benefit, or any help. It's so stigmatized that they cannot say they were a noble war veteran, and that's how they got it. In fact, to tell anyone would be to deface the parent they love, and know was suffering. It can become more isolating than anyone can imagine.
 
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