T
Tom889
I'm so sorry for taking up space on this page as I know there are many other people with bigger problems that need help but I have no where else to turn to. First of all this experience needs a little explaining, I was 13 years old when I had assumptions of my mum cheating on my dad. Little did I know what I would find out over the next year. Five days before the family Christmas party of 2007 my family had a small get together and by the end of the night my father (as per usual) was in bed drunk by 8pm as per, my sister (11) and my brother (9) had been sat downstairs playing games with my mum and my half brother (fathers side) as we suddenly got rushed up to bed. 30 minutes after being unable to sleep I decided to climb off my roof and sneak out and meet my friends as I usually did. Something that night told me to turn back half way down my road and as I did I saw through my lounge window my mum having an affair with my half brother (dads son from a previous marriage) as I was young and didn't know what to do in that position I kept it from my dad, and tried to deal with everything myself. I've just turned 24, and I can't go to the doctors to ask for help as they are good friend of my dads. I have recently gone traveling with my girlfriend hoping everything in my head would get better, I'm realising I can't run away from my problems, that they will always be there no matter how far I run. Telling my dad is not an option as he is a emotionally unstable and I could see him ending his life after finding out the truth, being cheated on as his ex-wife did with his best friend to him and ruined his life, he's not been the same since. I'm backed in to a corner by an in-emotionally available father and a guilt tripping mother. Not to mention I spent the next 6 years of my life working for my f@cking c@nt of a half brother and I feel like I could kill him with no remorse nor guilt. My family have no idea, I'm the stone holding my family together and none of them would survive what I have been through but I feel worthless and completely misunderstood, I have no one to talk to, I have no where else to turn to. I need help as I feel like I'm a ticking time-bomb and I can't speak to my family or girlfriend. Somebody please help me I don't think I can live like this any longer