I have been the go to safe person for a girl now for over 40 years now. We have been through many horrible times together. She calls me many when she is in crisis. She comes from a family of 10 children. Her abuse started as a toddler. There family life was deplorable.
There are only 4 of the kids still alive today, all the rest have left us now by suicide. Two of the girls I went to school with and we were friends. One of the boys was someone that I believe has been the only one to truly show me love. Before he Died he told his youngest brother that if he was ever in need of someone to trust to come to me. He did and I was his safe person for many years until he took his own life while I was away at work. That is a short bit of history, I will have to write a full accounting of them someday in my Trauma diary.
Now to the present. I have been a safe person for her for many years. (Since she was12) I know I have helped to keep her alive now for many years. This summer I have rescued her many times. Got her to her doctor and got her back onto her medication. We talk lots and she makes a plan to help herself. When I get her up in the morning everything has changed she dissociates and is gone again.
I am not sure home many times this has happened in the last 4 or 5 months. This weekend was really bad and we talked and I got her some power bars and boost drinks and had her in a hotel for a couple of night between me and her old boss when she worked outreach helping out street kids on the downtown east side Vancouver.. Any way he called the outreach nurse to come and see her. I don't know what happened but she left the hotel and went back on the street. The next morning when I found out she was gone again I called the outreach myself and talk to them. They went out right away and found her sitting On the curb on the side of the road and asked her if she would like to talk she told them to go away and leave her alone.
My questions are am I just enabling her to avoid care? Should I continue to help her even though I don't think I am helping? I just really don't know what to say when my phone rings and she is needing help. What more can I do? Is this hurting me more?
Peace be safe thanks for reading this
There are only 4 of the kids still alive today, all the rest have left us now by suicide. Two of the girls I went to school with and we were friends. One of the boys was someone that I believe has been the only one to truly show me love. Before he Died he told his youngest brother that if he was ever in need of someone to trust to come to me. He did and I was his safe person for many years until he took his own life while I was away at work. That is a short bit of history, I will have to write a full accounting of them someday in my Trauma diary.
Now to the present. I have been a safe person for her for many years. (Since she was12) I know I have helped to keep her alive now for many years. This summer I have rescued her many times. Got her to her doctor and got her back onto her medication. We talk lots and she makes a plan to help herself. When I get her up in the morning everything has changed she dissociates and is gone again.
I am not sure home many times this has happened in the last 4 or 5 months. This weekend was really bad and we talked and I got her some power bars and boost drinks and had her in a hotel for a couple of night between me and her old boss when she worked outreach helping out street kids on the downtown east side Vancouver.. Any way he called the outreach nurse to come and see her. I don't know what happened but she left the hotel and went back on the street. The next morning when I found out she was gone again I called the outreach myself and talk to them. They went out right away and found her sitting On the curb on the side of the road and asked her if she would like to talk she told them to go away and leave her alone.
My questions are am I just enabling her to avoid care? Should I continue to help her even though I don't think I am helping? I just really don't know what to say when my phone rings and she is needing help. What more can I do? Is this hurting me more?
Peace be safe thanks for reading this