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- My partner of 20 years suffered child physical and emotional abuse, when we met he was in therapy for depression and was feeling better and told me that I was the best think that could happen to him. He was always nice and helpful ,but got tense sometimes expecially around his family, but I thought it was normal due to his past. He never wanted to have kids because he was afraid of mot being able to handle the stress, and because I was in love I did not break up with him about him. Fast forward 19 years, my father past away and last year and I was a little down and didn’t pay to much attention to his changing behavior, but he was becoming very isolated, cut all the contact with his parents, always tired , not being able to sleep well and irritable. When I came back from visitingy family he started yelling at me that to get out of the house, that I was selfish, lying, . he actually wanted me to kick me out of my house. Could not offer reasonable explanations...examples of me being selfish or mean. I actually offered possible reasons, but he said that was too late.Basically it didn’t make any sense. Note that up intill then he had been always very attentive, always calling me at 5 to know when was i going home from work. We were going out for dinner every week in fancy restaurants and bought a new house together 3 years ago. One other thing he used to get sad everytime i had to go out of town.
- After this outburst hjust shut down. Well I didn’t leave because I wanted to have closure and see what was really going on. I was thinking he pushed everybody out and now its me. He is basically living in survival mode at the moment.
- Well one day I have discovered that he has a son that he never told me about it, from a relationship that he had before me. i was shocked and felt a sense of betrayal, but because of his cPTSD I know that i cannot confront him that way i want to. Why he kept this secret for so many years? he deserted this kid.Was our relationship all lie? when he was yelling you are selfish , i hate you, I think that he was telling all this things to himself. I don’t think that our relationship is salvageable, but i would to be able to talk to him…and understand. ..what will be the best way to approach him?
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