I started Somatic Therapy a few sessions ago. Trying to reconnect my body and mind, I have constant disconnect and intense fatigue. I haven’t noticed much in the first few sessions but this last session I had a bit of a panic episode. It wasn’t like the panic attacks I had in my teens which were more (which were intense and inward) these were noticeable and outwards.
My counselor and I were doing somatic work. I had had an issue with saying no in my teens and early 20’s. She asked if I had a person I’ve wanted to say no to in the past and A thought came up of how I’ve wanted to say no to a guy and didn’t (In my promiscuous days) I think I had a memory but I can’t recall what one it was from. I just remember exposed skin. I sat with this odd feeling for a while and my mind drifted off and deep into something else and I started feeling weird, like my hands were extremely fat and my legs were big popsicle sticks. I felt an airy or galaxy feeling within my torso. As if it wasn’t there anymore. The focus became my body and how odd it was feeling. I stayed with it questioning it. But It became way too overwhelming and so very surreal I started hyperventilating and burst into tears and had to open my eyes. It wasn’t one specific memory though. I just placed myself in the position of me about to say no to a guy and my mind trailed off somewhere deeper where all I could actually focus on was my body and how surreal it felt. I’ve ignored many body alarms before. Perhaps so many that they’ve stopped alarming me. I’m so frustrated that it wasn’t a specific memory. I feel like if it was, I’d be closer to figuring things out. It’s hard to explain. I don’t think it was about the saying no part, my mind went to a different place that I can’t quite recall.
Has anybody had this type of surreality? Or any other somatic experience they’d like to share?
My counselor and I were doing somatic work. I had had an issue with saying no in my teens and early 20’s. She asked if I had a person I’ve wanted to say no to in the past and A thought came up of how I’ve wanted to say no to a guy and didn’t (In my promiscuous days) I think I had a memory but I can’t recall what one it was from. I just remember exposed skin. I sat with this odd feeling for a while and my mind drifted off and deep into something else and I started feeling weird, like my hands were extremely fat and my legs were big popsicle sticks. I felt an airy or galaxy feeling within my torso. As if it wasn’t there anymore. The focus became my body and how odd it was feeling. I stayed with it questioning it. But It became way too overwhelming and so very surreal I started hyperventilating and burst into tears and had to open my eyes. It wasn’t one specific memory though. I just placed myself in the position of me about to say no to a guy and my mind trailed off somewhere deeper where all I could actually focus on was my body and how surreal it felt. I’ve ignored many body alarms before. Perhaps so many that they’ve stopped alarming me. I’m so frustrated that it wasn’t a specific memory. I feel like if it was, I’d be closer to figuring things out. It’s hard to explain. I don’t think it was about the saying no part, my mind went to a different place that I can’t quite recall.
Has anybody had this type of surreality? Or any other somatic experience they’d like to share?