Hi. I'm batgirl, and I'm glad to have found this forum. I've been lurking for a few days, but I finally found the courage to join and post.
On January 24, 2001, my father shot his girlfriend, my little brother and me, then turned the gun on himself. I got shot in the stomach, but I was somehow able to call for help before I passed out. I was the only survivor... my father, his girlfriend, and my brother all died at the scene. My father was in the military and was on a stress leave when the shooting occurred.
I was living on the base with my dad and brother at the time of the shooting, but as soon as I was discharged from the hospital, I took off, and didn't tell anyone where I was going. I moved to a different part of the country and I have never gone back. People who knew me before have tried to contact me, but I avoid them all. It justs hurts too much to be around them. I even changed my last name and got an unlisted phone number so no one could find me.
I tried going to university, but I kept thinking other students were carrying concealed weapons, and I was always getting startled by noises and people appearing from around corners. Sometimes I would startle so bad that I fainted, and sometimes I felt like the shooting was happening all over again, it was so real, even while I was awake. After dropping out of school I tried several times to get and keep a job, but I suffered similar symptoms, plus I wasn't sleeping well. Finally I saw a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with PTSD. I have been on and off several meds, and had CBT for a year. The CBT has helped with some of my symptoms, but I still have nightmares almost everytime I go to sleep (including naps!), still startle easily and space out. I have trouble trusting people, so obviously I don't make friends easily and spend much time alone.
I'm currently looking for a part time job that I can handle, and I'm thinking about going back to school in 2007. I'm really enjoying reading on this forum, I relate to a lot, so thanks!
On January 24, 2001, my father shot his girlfriend, my little brother and me, then turned the gun on himself. I got shot in the stomach, but I was somehow able to call for help before I passed out. I was the only survivor... my father, his girlfriend, and my brother all died at the scene. My father was in the military and was on a stress leave when the shooting occurred.
I was living on the base with my dad and brother at the time of the shooting, but as soon as I was discharged from the hospital, I took off, and didn't tell anyone where I was going. I moved to a different part of the country and I have never gone back. People who knew me before have tried to contact me, but I avoid them all. It justs hurts too much to be around them. I even changed my last name and got an unlisted phone number so no one could find me.
I tried going to university, but I kept thinking other students were carrying concealed weapons, and I was always getting startled by noises and people appearing from around corners. Sometimes I would startle so bad that I fainted, and sometimes I felt like the shooting was happening all over again, it was so real, even while I was awake. After dropping out of school I tried several times to get and keep a job, but I suffered similar symptoms, plus I wasn't sleeping well. Finally I saw a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with PTSD. I have been on and off several meds, and had CBT for a year. The CBT has helped with some of my symptoms, but I still have nightmares almost everytime I go to sleep (including naps!), still startle easily and space out. I have trouble trusting people, so obviously I don't make friends easily and spend much time alone.
I'm currently looking for a part time job that I can handle, and I'm thinking about going back to school in 2007. I'm really enjoying reading on this forum, I relate to a lot, so thanks!