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Understanding Ptsd - By Anthony Parsons

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anthony

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The idea of this document is to help those surrounding PTSD; it’s based on theory I have learned and the experience I gained whilst walking my path to recovery.

Download the attached PDF document for a no nonsense outline of what you are dealing with as a sufferer and carer.

Fully Revised as at: 18 Nov 2011

The latest and most current document can be found at: https://www.myptsd.com/threads/understanding-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd.86476/
 

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Are there on the internet articles about the PTSD-imbalance issue? I found out about stuttering (and dyslexia and other problems of control) too, that the hemispheric dominance problem causes it. But the hemispheric dominance problem is caused by ME, not my brain, or the trauma, these wrong tracks are based on the philosophically shallow conception of "stress". Anyway, I will post my theory about it as soon as I studied the details.
 
You said "I have healed my military trauma and I have learnt how to manage PTSD." So a person actually can heal their traumas and manage this disorder. I'm curious though, what is your quality of life now compared to pre-trauma?
 
May I step in before Anthony replies and comment on my observations over the past 3.5 years with him.

  • I have seen him go from internalizing his illness to being able to tell me he is unwell. This made a huge difference in a relationship.
  • I have seem him go from spending a week in bed in a sweat and dazed stage to just sitting on the couch for the day or the very odd day of spending the day in bed.
  • He has learned that while his desire is to help people (this forum), he has to manage how much he involves himself with that and the amount of time he spends doing it otherwise it pulls him down. His realization of this was fundamental IMHO.
  • I am proud of how he now sometimes explains his 'PTSD actions' to me so I can comprehend him better and not add to his stress.
  • He seems to have a great skill of processing the past and being able to move past it rather than get caught up in it and let it eat at him. I think that is a great management skill for having PTSD.
I know this hasn't answered your question Jadebear but I thought you might appreciate a Carer's view.
 
Yes, Nicolette, I do appreciate a carer's view. It sounds like he's come a long way in the short time you've been with him.

So, you didn't know him before PTSD then?.... I guess my main question is what percentage of "him" is still intact, does a person ever become whole again?....
 
Who I used to be, I can never fully be again, as my experience then compared to now is vastly different. I was an easy going person, I am still an easy going person, even during the worst of PTSD I was easy going at times and with certain people, others not so. I had years where I was extremely destructive... single, drunk, fighting, a different woman often... extremely destructive, yet acceptable to the Army, but not acceptable for civilian life.

Then vs. now... well, I am now an even stronger person mentally due to the past that I chose to learn from. We all have a past, but what we use from it is unique and individual. What we learn as well, whether we learn or whether we remain on the same path, also individual.

There just is no such thing as trying to be your old self... it doesn't exist because we all change constantly along the way. Our future and present soon enough becomes our past, and all this time consistently defines who we are today. Who we are today is not who we will be tomorrow, or the next day, or the next day... so looking for someone you used to be is extremely counter productive.

If you define a negative in your life, then your work is to change and define that negative into what you want it to be in your future, today even... some people are happy with some negatives, as we all have those as well. The scale and measure is what affects you negatively vs. what doesn't. If something has a constant and deliberate negative impact upon you, then you either change it to a positive or you continue the way you are... but you cannot be who you used to be. Aim for new or improved, not past.
 
Anthony,

Thank you SO much for this incredibly helpful article. I sat with my partner last night and went through this. I think it was the first time he really understood what is going on with me. It also made it so much easier for me to acknowledge what I put him through. I think most of the time I am afraid to validate his complaints for fear of his leaving. We bonded in a way that we never had before while discussing this. I woke up this morning feeling calmer than I have in a very long time. If I can maintain this level, I think I might even be able to get back into therapy.

I just wanted to be sure to tell you how much I appreciate this and everything you are doing to help people.
 
On stammering and dyslexia, would like to share that I had both very bad when I was deep in the PTSD state. The stammering has stopped. The dyslexia has greatly minimized. It only shows when I type. Sometimes whole words are typed out of order, flip flopped. It's quite a strain to focus but I pull it off most of the time. For me it's more prevalent the week before my period (PMS week). For me all forms of motor skills and thoughts and well everything becomes more "clumsy" to keep it simple.

Pre PTSD I never had a stammer or dyslexia. Nor did I endure the lack of coordination with thoughts and even fine motor skill functions during PMS week. Just sharing so if there is anyone out there with these challenges, it can get better.
 
This article helped me so much! I have to find a way to not get triggered by them and to back away and not react (I seem to be aggressive according to this document because we then go days without speaking to each other) when I feel it happening. I am seeing a lot of those same symptoms in me, so I know I need to go talk to someone and see what's going on with me so that I can better support my friend and myself . Will me and this friend be able to be around each other during these hard times for her which have now turned into bad times for me?
 
Will me and this friend be able to be around each other during these hard times for her which have now turned into bad times for me?
Who better to help you both really, than each other, in both learning stress management and communication skills together? Regardless who has PTSD, communication skills in any relationship are a two way street, both must give and take, and develop, as well as obide by, established rules to communicate to avoid yelling or arguing.

When starting out... nothing like shifting to a notepad on the kitchen table, each writing and responding to any problems that way, so you can think about what you write in response vs. say it which can't be taken back. It is a good way to open the communication barriers when initially struggling. I say writing, because it puts more effort and thought than just email, and email can be instant and become just as ugly as voicing to one another. Writing on a piece of paper adds more time to the equation of response, which means better chance on thought.

Even a rule, read response, say nothing, write nothing, then write response 5 or 10 minutes later after a chance to review both positive and negative options.
 
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