Lotusflower
New Here
Hello Everyone,
I have chronic PTSD from multiple traumas. For years I have been trying to deal with this, and I am at the worst point that I have ever been with it now.
I have seen several therapists over the years. Most were no help at all a few were down right incompetent. The last one I saw, a few years ago , correctly diagnosed the PTSD.
He wanted to do EMDR therapy but for some reason he chickened out at the last minute.
(He was very vague about why, just said he could recommend someone else…) I moved, (a LOT) and have not seen any one since.
I didn’t have too many, (problems PTSD wise), until my late twenties. I used to be a strong, confident woman, who could handle pretty much anything that life threw her way.
(In spite of early trauma, which I would’ve sworn on a stack of bibles, I’d dealt with remarkably well.)
I was loving, creative, energetic mother to my four sons. I am nothing like that now.
When I feel anything at all, it’s usually fear, in the form of extreme anxiety. Sometimes I swear I feel like I am vibrating inside like a tuning fork! (This feeling is ALWAYS accompanied by tinnitus oddly…)
My Son’s are grown, but I have a two year old Daughter, and I am desperate to recover SOME feelings of joy, hope…
I try to be as loving with her as possible, even when I’m in literal pain from the stress. (I feel almost every day like I’ve been beaten by a gang with baseball bats from the stress I am currently under.) But I know she is getting shorted SO much.
I have to force myself to play or dance, sing with her. I am finding it harder and harder to do at all uuhhggg! I laugh and smile, but I do not feel much. I know she picks up on my anxiety too.
I want to help myself so badly! I have long known that our best hope of healing from anything lies within ourselves. . I used to pride myself on being smart and strong. I feel so ashamed and defeated to be falling apart in spite of my best efforts to help myself!
Reading here really cranks up my anxiety, so I come and read as much as I can tolerate every day and then I take a break. I’m still not sure how this all works, but I know I have found something different here. Thanks to all those who share there work here!
LB
I have chronic PTSD from multiple traumas. For years I have been trying to deal with this, and I am at the worst point that I have ever been with it now.
I have seen several therapists over the years. Most were no help at all a few were down right incompetent. The last one I saw, a few years ago , correctly diagnosed the PTSD.
He wanted to do EMDR therapy but for some reason he chickened out at the last minute.
(He was very vague about why, just said he could recommend someone else…) I moved, (a LOT) and have not seen any one since.
I didn’t have too many, (problems PTSD wise), until my late twenties. I used to be a strong, confident woman, who could handle pretty much anything that life threw her way.
(In spite of early trauma, which I would’ve sworn on a stack of bibles, I’d dealt with remarkably well.)
I was loving, creative, energetic mother to my four sons. I am nothing like that now.
When I feel anything at all, it’s usually fear, in the form of extreme anxiety. Sometimes I swear I feel like I am vibrating inside like a tuning fork! (This feeling is ALWAYS accompanied by tinnitus oddly…)
My Son’s are grown, but I have a two year old Daughter, and I am desperate to recover SOME feelings of joy, hope…
I try to be as loving with her as possible, even when I’m in literal pain from the stress. (I feel almost every day like I’ve been beaten by a gang with baseball bats from the stress I am currently under.) But I know she is getting shorted SO much.
I have to force myself to play or dance, sing with her. I am finding it harder and harder to do at all uuhhggg! I laugh and smile, but I do not feel much. I know she picks up on my anxiety too.
I want to help myself so badly! I have long known that our best hope of healing from anything lies within ourselves. . I used to pride myself on being smart and strong. I feel so ashamed and defeated to be falling apart in spite of my best efforts to help myself!
Reading here really cranks up my anxiety, so I come and read as much as I can tolerate every day and then I take a break. I’m still not sure how this all works, but I know I have found something different here. Thanks to all those who share there work here!
LB