BassistKara
Confident
So a few months back i started seeing a counsellor through Centre against sexual assualt, and she has been really amazing, only the 2nd person working in that job to not have me never go back to them in my 10 year therapy history...
But im having a few problems and i just wanna know if anyone else has had similar issues...
The first one is when i go in to a session like today and actually rationally explain why i do things/the way i think/and give them an insight into my though process etc etc im somewhat fine while doing it but sometimes i can just switch and go completely silent and put up a wall, or wait until i leave and beat myself up because i willingly made myself vulnerable and took down my wall for a moment...
Second one is at my last session i ended up getting really really pissed off at her and walking out...but i dont remember it happening, like i remember waiting in the waiting room for her, but the rest of it i have no recollection of, this sorta thing also happens sometimes outside of counselling like if im in a really depressed state or have a major freak out at someone coz they must've triggered me or something...its scary and rather annoying coz they'll bring up stuff i said or did and i dont remember doing any of it..
Anyways, other than that, im gonna be starting CBT my next session, im really hoping that i doesnt make me worse before it makes me better...
Also suprised that this post actually makes some sense considering ive been binging for the last week on drugs and alcohol..argh!
Thanks for reading and any advice or ideas or just general ive been their too sorta stuff will be much appreciated!
But im having a few problems and i just wanna know if anyone else has had similar issues...
The first one is when i go in to a session like today and actually rationally explain why i do things/the way i think/and give them an insight into my though process etc etc im somewhat fine while doing it but sometimes i can just switch and go completely silent and put up a wall, or wait until i leave and beat myself up because i willingly made myself vulnerable and took down my wall for a moment...
Second one is at my last session i ended up getting really really pissed off at her and walking out...but i dont remember it happening, like i remember waiting in the waiting room for her, but the rest of it i have no recollection of, this sorta thing also happens sometimes outside of counselling like if im in a really depressed state or have a major freak out at someone coz they must've triggered me or something...its scary and rather annoying coz they'll bring up stuff i said or did and i dont remember doing any of it..
Anyways, other than that, im gonna be starting CBT my next session, im really hoping that i doesnt make me worse before it makes me better...
Also suprised that this post actually makes some sense considering ive been binging for the last week on drugs and alcohol..argh!
Thanks for reading and any advice or ideas or just general ive been their too sorta stuff will be much appreciated!