D
Deleted member 541
I am approaching a part in my diary that has me thinking a lot lately.. Friendship, and taking responsibility of my share of it.
I have been friends for the better part of half of my life with Cindy.....There was a time that I almost threw it away because of anger, resentment,
lack of understanding, and not learning to agree to disagree.
I had just had the most awful fight of my life with my daughter. That fight still haunts me today. It has cost me my daughter, and my grandchildren.
It also almost cost me my friendship too. I was so angry with my daughter, she had backed me into a corner, used everything she could think of, including
guilt to get me to do something. I balked, it escalated, we fought. Then we fought some more. Each time the words stung even more, on both sides. Then she
called me something that really triggered me. I won't bring up in this open forum what I said next, but it cost me everything......I have not seen her, nor my grand children.
in over 4 yrs.
I needed someone to talk to...Cindy....She would be there for me, through thick and thin....She listened and then told me What I didn't want to hear.
I was so angry. How could she be so indifferent to my pain. How could she not see that I was suffering. How could she not see?????
I walked away from the friendship. I told her she wasn't my friend, because she couldn't see my pain....I lost that friendship for almost a yr. it took me time to realize that friendship is a
two way street. It can't be all one sided. I finally got the courage to call her. We talked about the argument.....I listened....I really listened to what she had to say, and she LISTENED to what
I had to say. We BOTH had issues concerning my argument with my daughter. I wanted her to take my side, and she wanted me to see her side. I NEEDED her compassion.
She WANTED me to see her side of things. There are 2 sides to ever conflict, but I really believe that in order to heal something you have once lost, you NEED to look at the others side,
feel their pain, and put yourself in their shoes before you walk.......I finally saw Cindy's issue, and understood. She FINALLY saw my pain and hurt with my daughter, and understands my pain in all of it.
We both had to come to terms with taking responsibility for our OWN actions, or LACK of them in our fight.
What we both learned.......... Is taking responsibility for your own actions and words in a relationship is Paramount. You BOTH also have to show empathy, sympathy, and general care for each other. You can't ignore
or play down someones feelings just because they don't gel with yours.........Agree to disagree...But acknowledgment of the others feeling HAS to be part of the equation.
Wendy
I have been friends for the better part of half of my life with Cindy.....There was a time that I almost threw it away because of anger, resentment,
lack of understanding, and not learning to agree to disagree.
I had just had the most awful fight of my life with my daughter. That fight still haunts me today. It has cost me my daughter, and my grandchildren.
It also almost cost me my friendship too. I was so angry with my daughter, she had backed me into a corner, used everything she could think of, including
guilt to get me to do something. I balked, it escalated, we fought. Then we fought some more. Each time the words stung even more, on both sides. Then she
called me something that really triggered me. I won't bring up in this open forum what I said next, but it cost me everything......I have not seen her, nor my grand children.
in over 4 yrs.
I needed someone to talk to...Cindy....She would be there for me, through thick and thin....She listened and then told me What I didn't want to hear.
I was so angry. How could she be so indifferent to my pain. How could she not see that I was suffering. How could she not see?????
I walked away from the friendship. I told her she wasn't my friend, because she couldn't see my pain....I lost that friendship for almost a yr. it took me time to realize that friendship is a
two way street. It can't be all one sided. I finally got the courage to call her. We talked about the argument.....I listened....I really listened to what she had to say, and she LISTENED to what
I had to say. We BOTH had issues concerning my argument with my daughter. I wanted her to take my side, and she wanted me to see her side. I NEEDED her compassion.
She WANTED me to see her side of things. There are 2 sides to ever conflict, but I really believe that in order to heal something you have once lost, you NEED to look at the others side,
feel their pain, and put yourself in their shoes before you walk.......I finally saw Cindy's issue, and understood. She FINALLY saw my pain and hurt with my daughter, and understands my pain in all of it.
We both had to come to terms with taking responsibility for our OWN actions, or LACK of them in our fight.
What we both learned.......... Is taking responsibility for your own actions and words in a relationship is Paramount. You BOTH also have to show empathy, sympathy, and general care for each other. You can't ignore
or play down someones feelings just because they don't gel with yours.........Agree to disagree...But acknowledgment of the others feeling HAS to be part of the equation.
Wendy