Recent content by Holdingontohope

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    Parts but no did?

    Thank you all for you replies. I've never heard of IFS before. Reading about it the "parts" instead of "alters" seems to be more what I'm dealing with. So not DID, although my "parts" are related to my trauma and how I processed/dealt with them at the time. The structural dissociation makes a...
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    Parts but no did?

    This may be a stupid question or may already be in a thread somewhere that I haven't found yet so I apologise. I'm wondering if you can have parts but not have DID? For me it feels like there are different "parts" of me. Like in therapy today the 7/8 year old part of me was very strongly...
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    What just happened?!

    I think a part of me is scared to go back and talk to my T. I have never before felt scared of my T, but when I think about going back today there is this little girls voice in my head begging me not to go back. It's like this part of me is scared of him for some reason. I'm not sure why...
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    What just happened?!

    I had a t appointment this morning and something happened at my appointment that I don't really know what it was. I was upset/emotional/on edge when I went into my appointment this morning to begin with because of a miscommunication with my T that triggered lots of negative thoughts. We have...
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    News Tiger, tiger

    Have any of you read the book Tiger Tiger: A Memoir by Margaux Fragoso? If so what are your thoughts on it?
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    Missing my t

    My T is on vacation right now. I am trying to make it through these 10 days, but I feel like I'm falling apart. I know I should be happy for him, that he needs his time away and to spend time with his family. I am happy for him, but I also kind of feel abandoned, like he doesn't care, scared...
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    How often do you go?

    I have been in therapy off and on for over 10 years. I've been seeing my current therapist for about 2 years. I am scheduled for regular weekly sessions. Some times, when I am really struggling, I end up going 2 or 3 times a week. There was even a week I went 5 times, I think. I try to...
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    Do you ever feel hurt when your t is late for appointments?

    Sometimes my T is "late" for appointments because the previous session ran over. He always apologizes if he is late though. And I try to be understanding about it because I've been on the other side of that too, as in I'm the client who is causing him to be late for his next appointment. When...
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    Therapist asking questions?

    My T has told me that if he was ever going to report something he would talk to me about it and I would know that he was reporting it. If you are worried about him reporting it, ask him about it. Either he will be able to put your mind at ease about it or it will open up a dialogue about it...
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    Undiagnosed Need some advice, my first post. emotional abuse & neglect.

    I've tried to hide certain things or not discuss certain things with my therapist before. It was not and is not helpful for me. I have found that the things I am scared/ashamed /embarrassed to talk about, the things I try to avoid or hide are things I really need to address in therapy. Being...
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    My first counselor

    I'm sorry you has such an awful experience with your first "counselor". There are good therapists out there. It might take a while to find one that you feel comfortable with and work well with though. I've met with several different therapists throughout my life. Some of them were okay, some...
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    Is He Right?

    Thank you. It really felt like the right thing to do. I have never felt this song or capable of doing things on my own before. It is a strange feeling for me, the opposite of what I was use to for so long. I have a good support team on my side, and I am thankful to have you all to talk...
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    Is He Right?

    Well, I did have him served with divorce papers and a restraining order. Things were getting even worse. If I didn't have PTSD already, Id say there was a good possibility of developing it related to things that have happened in the past few weeks. I am glad I did it finally. I feel really...
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    Is He Right?

    Thank you all for taking the time to read my posts and reply. I have been considering my options, as far as my marriage, for a while now. It is a little more complicated than just leaving him/filing for divorce. I wish it was that simple. I had an appointment with my EMDR therapist today...
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    Is He Right?

    Thank you all for your kind replies. I feel better after reading them. My life is worth living. I have value as a person. I was struggling to believe those after hearing what he said. They are true though, whether he believes it or not. Now that I've had some time to regroup/ground myself...
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