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Jen93
Last Activity:
Apr 19, 2014 at 9:58 AM
Joined:
Dec 7, 2011
Messages:
1,799
Likes Received:
2,327
Trophy Points:
1,063
Gender:
Female
Birthday:
May 22, 1993 (Age: 20)
Location:
Canada
Occupation:
Student

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Jen93

VIP Member, Female, 20, from Canada

What the @%^$ did I get myself into? Mar 12, 2014

Jen93 was last seen:
Viewing portal index, Apr 19, 2014 at 9:58 AM
    1. Jen93
      Jen93
      I don't know if there's a reason why some are blessed some not. Why the few you seem to favour they fear us, flee us, try not to see us.
      1. Nadia, Dethuan and C.J like this.
    2. Jen93
      Jen93
      Some of us sail through our troubles and some have to live with the scars.
      1. rainy_daze likes this.
    3. Jen93
      Jen93
      Didn't freak out yesterday after all! I was blurry though, everybody's voices were muted and I was in a fog all day. >: Feeling good now.
    4. Jen93
      Jen93
      Oh I feel bad for my friends. I can already tell it's going to be a "What set her off? Jenny, you're okay. You're at university" day. D: <3
    5. Jen93
      Jen93
      What an emotional day. D': I'm so glad that's over. So refreshing and heavy afterwards. D: Could use someone to talk to. :'( Still feel bad.
    6. Jen93
      Jen93
      Family. Can't love 'em, can't throw 'em in a volcano and watch them turn to ash. Can't live with 'em much longer. Runaway? Yes please!
      1. rainy_daze likes this.
      2. rainy_daze
        rainy_daze
        Keep your sense of humour Jen. You'll have your own proper space one day, until then hang in there and like AM says try and get some peace. Oh, and please avoid open-top volcanoes ;-) and running away to anywhere!
        Apr 2, 2012
    7. AngelaMarie
      AngelaMarie
      I saw your post about the trip you mother was planning. I'm sorry you are having a hard time.
      1. Jen93
        Jen93
        Yeah, I actually feel as if I should leave home. They don't make an attempt to understand my anxiety, and they're codependent- get it from my grandmother. I soooo need to leave home. If only I didn't dependent on them for university money.
        Apr 1, 2012
      2. AngelaMarie
        AngelaMarie
        Try to take it a day at a time and if it gets to be too much try to stay to yourself more and get peace. I'm not sure you should go on that trip if you are afraid it will put you in the hospital. You can PM me if you need to talk. I am good at mothering. :)
        Apr 1, 2012
    8. Jen93
      Jen93
      Life is worth every flashback if I can be me.
    9. Jen93
      Jen93
      Life is worth every flashback I can be me.
    10. Jen93
      Jen93
      Trying hard to reach out but when I tried to speak out felt like no one could hear me.
      1. rainy_daze likes this.
      2. rainy_daze
        rainy_daze
        Reach out here, because I've heard you. You will breakaway. This song is one of my anthems (I have just put it on). I'm not many years older than you Jen, but living with it gets easier as you get older (in my experience). Like your avatar! Anyway, I just wanted to say Hello because I kept reading your posts on different threads. [Out of the darness, and into the sun! that's my favourite bit]
        Mar 27, 2012
      3. rainy_daze
        rainy_daze
        :-) Followers now
        Mar 27, 2012
    11. Jen93
      Jen93
      I'm through accepting limits, 'cause someone says they're so. Some things I cannot change but 'til I try I'll never know.
    12. Jen93
      Jen93
      I'm still fighting this feeling, but I honestly don't know how much longer I can hold on. I feel so horrible and guilty and just worthless.
    13. Jen93
      Jen93
      Guilt bad. I should be getting into trouble right now. Maybe if I got into trouble for whatever it is I thought I did wrong I'd feel better.
    14. Jen93
      Jen93
      Finally wrote in my trauma diary yesterday after avoiding it for nearly a month.
    15. Jen93
      Jen93
      I want to write in my trauma diary. Stupid nausea and headache- what I'm about to write isn't even that bad. :/ Go away defence mechanisms!
    16. Jen93
      Jen93
      Wrote a post I'm really proud of in "PTSD Relationships" section called "The different kind of friends- And what you can do." Check it out?
    17. Jen93
      Jen93
      I think I need painkillers or something for my shoulder. It hurts.
    18. CaringMomma
      CaringMomma
      I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. Usually, children who act out are asking for help, not to be hit. Hang in there, sweetie! I hope that I am correct in thinking that this happened when you were younger! Please, let me know if I am wrong.
      1. AngelaMarie likes this.
      2. Jen93
        Jen93
        You're right.
        Mar 4, 2012
    19. Jen93
      Jen93
      I deserved it. It SHOULD have been worse.Grateful to her for not hitting me more than that once. I deserved it on more than that occasion.
    20. Jen93
      Jen93
      Just learned the term "bullying" was mild-it was abuse...Teachers emotionally and physically abused me. Thanks Tig for letting me know. >.<
    21. Jen93
      Jen93
      Terrified they're going to hit me. It's irrational, but rational too.
    22. Jen93
      Jen93
      think I've figured out my issue with my tutor. Now how to explain it to her without sounding like a douche?
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  • About

    Gender:
    Female
    Birthday:
    May 22, 1993 (Age: 20)
    Location:
    Canada
    Occupation:
    Student
    Second year university student. PTSD caused by
    • emotional abuse
    • physical abuse
    • bullying
    • being a scapegoat.
    And that's all I can really say right now. :O_o:
    I can be funny, outgoing, happy, and say the most random things. I can also freak out.
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