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Mtgirl
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Mar 20, 2013
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Mtgirl

New Member, Female

Mtgirl was last seen:
Mar 20, 2013
    1. Christie
      Christie
      And yes, it was PTSD. Diagnosed & treated the same. Eye movement desensitization therapy, support groups, meds, prayer, prescriptions, & all. Eventually leading up to a "saving-grace" day that I still can't pin point.


      We know the reality of the situation. Just keep blocking them out (impossible sometimes, I know)
    2. Christie
      Christie
      We can keep pushing forward. Be open about our fears and set our rules in stone. The person we're going to spend forever with will never jeopardize our well-being.

      I commend you. I appreciate knowing that someone, somewhere understands. The point of this post is to make sure you know the same. God Bless. Congrats on how far you've come & I wish you the best in your journey forward.
    3. Christie
      Christie
      Because to them, it's "normal" & "everyone does it"... I know, I'm cringing too. But here we are, trying to love again.... Afraid of scenes in movies... Conversations they have with their friends about women... Etc. Because to us, we don't even think about them touching another woman. All it would take for us to spiral back into a black hole is a single Google search.
    4. Christie
      Christie
      But here I am, 2 years later... Alive. Happy, you could say. I'm in a new relationship & love him very much. But I'm with you. I'm still scared... Terrified, really. I believe he won't "physically" ever cheat on me... But we both know that that's not even close to our REAL fear. Of course, others may never understand this thought & probably judge us for thinking this way.
    5. Christie
      Christie
      That was almost 2 years ago. I too, had to leave the relationship after 10+ years. Don't ask me how because I couldn't tell you. It's all a blur. But the pain is something I'll never forget. Talk about being at the bottom. Definitely rock bottom. I figured that since the world loves trying to ruin love with lust & I couldn't change it... I didn't see myself ever being able to survive in it.
    6. Christie
      Christie
      I was there. I was on 5 prescriptions a day. Dropped out of college. had to be prescribed meds in order to get myself of need... & even then, it was a toss up every day. I cut myself... Spent the holidays in the hospital from a suicide attempt.
    7. Christie
      Christie
      Overwhelmed... Exhausted from having to explain it to others. So disgusted. And it brings you back to the days that it feels like you got a phone call telling you that your Mom died... At least 10 times a day... Even on the "good" days.
    8. Christie
      Christie
      I understand how you probably couldn't watch tv, drive past strip clubs, watch sexualized ads, or bear listening to others feed into our sex-crazed society.

      I understand how you probably hated yourself. And I understand how you probably felt when you read the posts from people claiming that you can't possibly get PTSD from your experience.
    9. Christie
      Christie
      I found you by searching for the same advice you were seeking & was completely astounded by the responses you got to your post. I want to start by saying that I understand.

      Not just some, I mean... I UNDERSTAND. Every deeply confused, hateful, grieving, gut-wrenching emotion you've experienced. I dealt with it for years.
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