Recent content by Neverthesame

  1. Neverthesame

    Insert Swearish Rant Here

    Been quite a while since I've bitched about my job here. So here goes again. 😁 Just sign the goddamn thing! Every delivery you have to sign this load sheet, every-f*cking-time. I have to sign the stupid f*cking thing in about 15 redundant places, you only have to sign it once. God forbid I...
  2. Neverthesame

    The burden of keeping PTSD "secret"

    I don't advertise it, nor do I try to lie about it. I know I have behaviours and reactions to things that are irrational. No matter how hard I've tried over the years to "blend in", sometimes I'm a little nuts. The way I see it, it's super obvious to everyone around me that "something" is...
  3. Neverthesame

    I don't deserve to grieve.

    Thank you. Agreed. I know this has been a problem for a while. The more I crap on myself the more I fail at things, the more I fail, the more reasons I have to crap on myself. I do this with my temper when I get angry about things outside of my head, it has been useful for stopping a tantrum...
  4. Neverthesame

    I don't deserve to grieve.

    Yeah that's a problem I've been running into. I have to research this more, it sounds like it's a mindfulness thing. Might be helpful if I can figure out how to do it. I can try. I don't have much patience for myself these days. I understand this is a process, God knows I've been fighting my...
  5. Neverthesame

    I don't deserve to grieve.

    This is of course correct. Sometimes I forget I'm looking back with the benefit of hindsight. It's hard to remember that I didn't know I wasn't going to catch Covid until after she passed. This is also a fair point. Whenever I try to do this I find I just can't. The best I've been able to do...
  6. Neverthesame

    I don't deserve to grieve.

    Ain't that the truth. My inner critic is getting very good at coming up with creative ways of telling me off. And round and round and round I go, where it stops only my subconscious knows. That's awful. I'm so sorry for your loss. Most days I couldn't imagine having children myself, I...
  7. Neverthesame

    I don't deserve to grieve.

    @Tinyflame I remember you as well, good to see you again. Thanks so much for your message it means alot that you shared that with me. Quite the opposite I assure you. It's an awful surprise isn't it? Though I remember having a feeling when she went to the doctor that morning it wasn't going...
  8. Neverthesame

    I don't deserve to grieve.

    You have a point there. I suppose the trick is to figure out how to get past the self loathing and accept the situation for what it is. That's been a thing for quite a while now. I'm not sure when it became the only way I speak to myself. But only myself, I would never speak to anyone else...
  9. Neverthesame

    I don't deserve to grieve.

    I don't do well with death. Probably no one really does. Besides I like to feel guilty about things apparently. OK enough stalling. Mum was diagnosed with her third cancer three and a half years ago, she went to the doctor about some swelling in her leg and came back with stage 4 lung...
  10. Neverthesame

    I'm back, I think.

    Thank you. This is one of the reasons I'm back, been struggling with this since she passed. Long story short I think I shoved it deep down and carried on, as I tend to do with difficult feelings. This is a good idea. I think I will try this, it seems like it might be a little less...
  11. Neverthesame

    Readers thread: what or who are you reading right now?

    Currently rereading Robert McCammon's "The Queen of Bedlam".
  12. Neverthesame

    I'm back, I think.

    Hello again, it's been a while, about three years I think. I still recognize a few names. Well, good to see you all again. Where to begin? Let's see. I still work at the same crappy warehouse job. PTSD is still there but not as prevalent as it used to be. There's the good out of the way...
  13. Neverthesame

    News Events around the George Floyd protests and riots, US and beyond

    I found this in my recommended video list when I got home from work. This sums up how I feel pretty goddamned perfectly.
  14. Neverthesame

    News Events around the George Floyd protests and riots, US and beyond

    Not to mention many a cop that has suffered a broken finger leading a detained person by the cuff chain instead of the wrist or arm. Shit happens Fast.
  15. Neverthesame

    News Events around the George Floyd protests and riots, US and beyond

    Absolutely correct. Segregation was a terrible thing. Have you seen her acceptance speech? If you haven't you should watch it. I'll even do the legwork and link it. A incredible positive moment in American history and civil rights. Soon to be forgotten because no one in future generations...
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