Recent content by ThePhoenix

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    Not sure how to make things easier...

    It helped me to ask her to move to the other side of the room and turn her back. After she did that I️ did the same. Took almost the entire session but eventually some of my words came. Still struggle something awful with saying the words but it has gotten a bit easier as time goes by.
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    ED Anorexia and cptsd

    I can sooo relate to what you are dealing with right now. I wish there was some really easy answer and a quick fix. What has worked for me is a hodgepodge of different things... I spent a lot of my life in and out of treatment and hospitals for anorexia. I know I have the knowledge and skills to...
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    ED Ptsd & eating disorder

    Recently I've hit a point in my therapy, moving towards accepting the fact that if I had grown up in a healthy home I would not have developed anorexia. The SA and the ED go hand in hand for me. My ED protected me and kept me feeling safe when nothing else was. Processing trauma for me also...
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    Natural Disaster Anyone affected by harvey? checking in.

    I can relate to the delayed reaction!! We are still flooded in (but safe) and it wasn't until this afternoon that I "woke up". Anxiety is HUGE for me at this moment. I keep trying to remind myself to "lean into" the feeling of anxiety and let the feeling be but it's freaking hard. No real...
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    Filled with dread

    @Junebug :) I know what you mean about mindfulness. It is a hard concept for me to grasp as I want to pick it apart and intellectualize it to death and I can't so then I'm annoyed lol. I hope it works too with practice...
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    Filled with dread

    @Junebug (not sure I'm tagging right sorry), Yes, we've worked a great deal on mindfulness and this aspect while it makes sense I find incredibly difficult.
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    Filled with dread

    UnicornSightings, thank you for your kind response. YES it really totally sucks! It's a crappy place to be in. I did take your advice and brought up the intensity of how I was feeling, and my fear. We discussed the idea that at this point in my healing it is likely more difficult for me to...
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    Filled with dread

    Therapy has been really really hard as of late. I'm not sure how much sense this will make but...I can feel something shifting inside. Sessions have a different "feel" to them and it is freaking me out! I struggle for words a lot in therapy and a few weeks ago my T offered the idea that we just...
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    Passively suicidal

    I went to river oaks for my ed ages ago. From what I recall the trauma track will also have ed patients. The ed patients on the trauma unit came over for meals and processing after meals. They also did I think one of the ed groups but they were mostly with the trauma track. If someone was having...
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    Long term trauma treatment mentioned again

    Is taking FMLA an option for you? I'm sorry you are struggling so much with your eating disorder. I can soooo relate to that. It seems the closer I get to feelings the stronger the pull towards behaviors become. Are there things you can do as an outpatient to keep yourself from requiring...
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    ED Eating disorder and addiction long term effects

    I know for myself it is second nature to slip back into eating disorder behaviors when my emotions feel out of control. Survival responses to trauma developed to help us cope with what we could not cope with at the time. It seems natural to me that when our insides are raging, feelings are...
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    I did something good!

    That is amazing! I love hearing how what you've been working on in therapy clicked. Being able to experience the moment in the present. Gives me so hope.
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    Where am i going in therapy.

    Thank you for your responses. It is helpful knowing I'm not alone in this. My T laid out the plan of attack when we started and does check-in every few weeks to see where we are at. For example when checking-in I might mention distress about past coping skills (defense mechanisms) being less...
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    Where am i going in therapy.

    I have spent many years in therapy addressing anorexia. I have a history of CSA but have always refused to address it. Fast forward to now...I've been in recovery from anorexia for many many years. At the start of the new year I began to experience some old eating disorder thoughts. Life was/is...
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