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Medical Help: have you had this medical trauma? looking for support.

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@Simply Simon

It was a 40 year old MD.

But seriously, for my own clarity... as I rarely want to post anything publicly to begin with... can you please explain how I or anyone else is not on topic?

I feel like this is the second time I feel discouraged from being "conversational" regarding the topic of childhood medical issues or something else related to ptsd/depression/anxiety etc... and, honestly, I feel like the one thing this site is lacking on is a lot of postings, conversations and members input. Its kind of slow anf frankly I dont see how adding to the conversation here is a BAD thing that requires a moderators "reminder"...

If we are ONLY on topic when we have the original posters very specific experience, well, that may never happen... what are the chances that someone has exactly that... nearly zero! What are the chances that someone on here has a similar or relatable childhood experience, much greater and therefore the poster is more likely to feel supported and heard and have a community. You know, I had a friend with some BIG problems... she hated how she felt like a freak when she told her story as nobody shared anything remotely similar with her.

Has it ever been considred that maybe a little slap on the hand causes me to amplify and completely over think and maybe I don't want to be posting at all about any of this to begin with and then on yop of that I feel like Im not complying with the program?

Seems like the moderators are pretty "active" on here which I get as its a mental health posting site and I'm sure things get out of hand BUT I aso dont get it as this is specifically for a demographic that largely doesnt want to talk about any aspect of this to begin with... maybe I've been just waiting for thirty-five years to talk about this and now I dont want to anymore...

Discouraging at best.
 
Hi, @Renegade26. I "liked" you post to show solidarity. I had something similar done to me when I was 4 going on 5, but it was not nearly as bad as your experience. It was at a time when I was being molested by an older boy in the neighborhood, my mom was pregnant and my parents were fighting. I regressed a lot, and started peeing on myself. I was first taken to a child psychiatrist, who said it wasn't a psychological issue (ha! I guess if you don't tell them what's going on, they're not mindreaders), and then to a pediatric urologist. The exam itself was embarrassing and left me feeling even more shame about "down there."

The doctors said I had an underdeveloped bladder, and it needed to be "stretched." I was held down and catheterized, and it hurt so much! I don't know what they did to "stretch" my bladder, but I was kept overnight and in the middle of the night the catheter came out and I lay in my cold pee for hours until my dad found me that way. He was so mad, he yelled at the nurse and that stuck in my mind.

Well, it was an apparent success because I stopped peeing on myself. But I know I was only peeing on myself in the first place because I was trying to be in control and NOT listen to my body when it said I had to pee. I stopped doing that and started acting out in other ways.

I don't have fear of doctors or hospitals, not excessively. And I didn't have the long term physical damage you have had to deal with. But at least I can relate to being a small child, held down and catheterized. I'm so sorry for your pain. You are not alone here. I'm glad you are reaching out, and hope you continue to get support.

Btw, I work with adult law students with a wide variety of disabilities. I have known many people, especially women, with physical disabilities who have medical trauma from being treated like some kind of freak. One woman had a very rare condition that contorted her body. As a child and teenager doctors would often troop into her hospital room with a group of med students in tow, unceremoniously undress her, and point out how her condition affected her body. She was just like an object in that room, she was not treated like a human being, not given any privacy, etc. It was terribly traumatic. While not everyone has had your exact procedure/experience, I think there are many people with disabilities who can related to being traumatized by the medical community.

Hang in there, Ren! Gentle hugs if you accept them, chocolate if not. Or both!
 
PortiaW has been thread banned for blatantly disregarding a very gentle reminder to all respondents to stay on topic.

The title of this thread is self-explanatory. Lengthy forays into wide-ranging current medical concerns can go into their own thread.

Thanks. :)
 
I may have had the procedure. Although I was and adult and certainly not restrained. It was a x-ray with dye to see if I was fully voiding my bladder (after rupture and relying on a catheter).

It sounds like they carried it out in a very scary way, especially for such a young child. It seems odd there would be no record of it.
 
I have had a similar procedure (but I am male) to the one you described, when I was a child and more recently. I had years of surgery and procedures on my genitals, from the age of three, to 'fix' a con-genital disorder. I routinely had to submit to very painful and unpleasant treatments, regular catheterisation, x-rays of my bladder and urethra, medical display to groups of student doctors, and so on it goes.

Hence I can absolutely relate to what you experienced being a horrific and traumatising experience. It made me feel ill reading your description. My own 'treatments' occurred in the 1960s and 70s. So it seems the medical profession hasn't learned still.

During the 13 years over which my own surgeries occurred I was never provided with any psychological support or counselling either. My own experiences of fear, pain, lack of control, humiliation and shame caused me significant trauma and gave rise to life long (so far) mental health problems.

I have investigated my own case so far as malpractice is concerned but am statue barred from taking any legal action due to the length of time that has passed. I don't know if the same applies to you. The lack of any record is also very concerning, and suggests yet another problem with the way your treatment was managed.

I have found talking about it, here, and to therapists has helped me to open up about my own experiences and subsequent problems. I still can't accept it, yet, but its work on-going. I don't know what other on-line help is out there for you. I have found a couple of forums for people with the same medical condition as I have, so it might be worth searching.

All I can say is I think I know some of what you may have felt and feel now, and I can validate those feelings. I hope this gives you some comfort. I'm happy to talk more if it would help.
 
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