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Medical Dementia? do you, or someone you know, have it??

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Changing4Best

MyPTSD Pro
I am learning all about Dementia for my job. I am encountering memories of my husband, who passed away from Vascular Dementia and other complications of a stroke, and my father, who suffered from Dementia too, before he died. My mind hurts with these memories, my heart and soul ache with them too!

The more I learn about the disease, the more I fear getting it, as it is hereditary. It is a terrifying thing to have, and to be the caregiver for someone who has it is a living nightmare. And guess what my job is to be?

They can become violent, for one thing. However, in many ways, that is not even the worst thing that they can do. They can injure themselves too, in many ways. And it goes on for years, like 8 or 10 or more.

I feel overwhelmed. I feel like quitting my job and running as far away from this as I can, and yet I care about the person I am to care for and I don't want to let him down. He is a nice man.

So, tell me, do you have any experience with this disease personally or as a caregiver? Please, give me some hope! (If there is any). But tell me the worst of it too. I need to know.
 
I have scant experience with dementia as a caregiver. My job is caring for the developmentally disabled, which is a population that is often violent/aggressive and self-injurious.

If this is a job you applied for, then don't worry about your client. You may care. You may want to be there for them. But ultimately, *someone* will willingly perform that job. It doesn't have to be you.

Working in direct care can be very psychically taxing. It can also be very rewarding. I advise you try it out for a couple of months and see what happens before you get too wrapped up in what-ifs. I'm also not sure your research will necessarily help you at this stage. I assume you will be given training. Individuals are individuals, not diagnoses or typical symptom sets. You might be better off just focusing on learning directly about this individual rather than doing extracurricular reading about the disease.

Your closeness to this health issue is what most concerns me. Do not attempt to do this job if it's dragging you down after a few weeks or months. Burn out is real. And ultimately you will not be the best caregiver if you're being truly drained.

Here is a different story about caregiving for someone with dementia you might find uplifting/energizing:
532: Magic Words
 
The more I learn about the disease, the more I fear getting it, as it is hereditary
There are a lot of types of dementia. In some cases, it looks like there's a hereditary component. But definitely not in all. There are genetic counselors out there who can advise you on what you're actual risk probably is. I'd check that or before I spent too much energy scaring myself.
 
Hi @SheilaKathy I agree with @scout86 , and none of us know what the future holds. Some things that seem to help prevent it are stress management, exercise, esp walking, good diet, brain games/ staying active, support.

I have extensive experience in such care-giving. That is true , there are over 50 types of dementia and counting. Alzheimer disease has particular characteristics, as does LB Dementia. Some diseases can include cognitive impairment- MS, Parkinson's, etc. People are by no means always violent, and some are super-sweethearts. It's somewhat as individual as there are people.

In many ways it's like caring for much bigger children (hign degree or total supervision; frequently an ego-centric perspective; safety concerns for them; basic care and acticities of daily living are compromised, etc) , but these are also people who know they are adults and expect to be given the freedom and autonomy to be making their own decisions, though unable to make those decisions or many of those decisions safely, so it helps to be creative in caring for the people without them feeling that is compromised. Also include everything necessary to accomodate caring for their age, or any illnesses present.

Often people with dementia have a hard time communicating, that frustration can seem like they may be violent, but it's not their inclination, more their exasperation.

Not sure where to begin but you can ask anything and if I can I will try to help. Definitely start with kindness, patience, more patience, and more patience. Also relax yourself, get to know the person's nature, start slowly and earn their trust. And don't be afraid to be yourself. :)

to be the caregiver for someone who has it is a living nightmare.

It can be, but not always, (just like ptsd).
 
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I was full time carer for my father, who had Alzheimer's. It was heartbreaking, sometimes scary, and completely exhausting, but at the same time some of my most precious memories of my father come from that time.

It's not a thing to be taken on lightly.
 
I have a lot of experience with dementia. I think Sheila I'd differentiate learning about it from an educational continuing education stand point versus personalizing the material against your experiences. Education is extremely important to have so as to better assess situations and prevent/protect the client as well as ourselves. There are many ways to redirect a dementia client.
 
Well, I have listened to a lot more DVDs now and so I feel a bit more qualified to handle my client. I also listened to the podcast mentioned above. I have taken some notes and found one person online to be very helpful. Her name is Teepa Snow and you can find videos online by Googling her name and listening/ watching them. She is an expert in Dementia Care and has many credentials.

We in the family don't know what type of Dementia that my father had, so there is no way of knowing if it is hereditary or not. I suspect it may have been Vascular Dementia as he had an enlarged heart due to having had some serious disease as a kid that came after Strep Throat. I forget what it was called....

Anyway, I have worked with my client for about a week so far now, and also I have known him for about a year. I have talked with his previous caregiver, and I have a pretty good idea of where he is at medically and socially. I have never witnessed him being violent or anything like that, so he may never exhibit such behavior. I feel a lot more confident now than I felt yesterday when I wrote the beginnings of this thread. Still, I have a lot to learn!
 
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