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General The closer we get, the more he avoids me?

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Is it possible that the closer I get to this guy with PTSD the more he will pull away? He tells me very personal stuff every once in a while, which is a big deal, because he says he doesn't trust anyone, not even therapists, and literally nobody cares. But when he tells me stuff, it is stressful for him. Sometimes he seems relieved and happy, but at other times he pulls away and seems deeply fearful. If I ask him to tell me more, he says, "I will be able to tell you in another week or two." It seems to cost him such a lot to pluck up courage to reveal stuff. But now it is difficult for him to even go out with me, even though I have said, "We don't have to talk, we can just relax and do nothing!" I will ask him maybe three or four times and he will say, "Give me a week, I'm too busy this week," or "I can't, let's try again next time." Once I told him it seemed like he didn't want to go and he said, "I want to go." He seems to struggle just going for a coffee. Last time he asked me if we could just walk in the park and I said that was a great idea, even better than coffee. He said he used to go to that park to get away from people when he was at university. He has spent his whole life avoiding people because they cause him such pain. Is it possible that, as we get closer and he confides in me more, that he will also be driven to avoid me more? Trying to understand how this trauma thing works.
 
Why is it important that he share his trauma with you???? This is a very painful thing to do for people with PTSD. Some can't ever talk about it and some, like me, have talked since almost the time it happened. Please don't ask him to talk. It sounds like he's in need of some space too. I would suggest that you don't ask him to go out anywhere or do anything and give him the space that itt seems he needs....
 
Er, he brought it up in the first place and I simply asked questions. However, he would sometimes say he was not able to answer those questions in the moment.
I wouldn't ask him to talk about something he didn't want to talk about. Ever.
 
Er, he brought it up in the first place and I simply asked questions.

I think he probably appreciates that you care enough to ask... please dont feel put off.

His behavior is textbook of what PTSD looks like. Sounds like he is trying to build the courage and comfort to talk and those things take time... but he obviously has the desire to share with you! Great sign!! He must really trust you and find comfort in who you are and how you relate to him.

If he didn't want you asking I'm sure his reactions would be much worse. I would iterate to him how happy and special it makes you feel that you can be a friend like this to him, and to know him like nobody else does, and how you love to feel like you're a supportive person to him. Let him lead the majority of the time. Just be very careful with criticism and tread lightly... we spook quite easy.

Good luck and I'm so happy to hear that there are people as caring as you are in this world! He is a lucky one!
 
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