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I graduated today!

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ms spock

MyPTSD Pro
I went to my graduation today, so I have graduated!

Going back to university was terribly hard for me last year. I was having high anxiety and panic attacks most days when I left the house, particularly the first term, but I stuck it out, and today I graduated. Six months later than my peers, but hey I got there! I did not go to my earlier degrees graduation ceremonies, I was not good enough, and no one had time to come, everyone in my family had more important things to do, I was last on the list and first off the list. But this time despite the dsyfunctional stuff that happened prior to the day, and today, I turned up and went through it. Why I would ever expect anything to do with my family to be anything but passive aggressive garbage - I think that is what you call denial , delusional thinking or something else - maladaptive expectations. Other stuff happened as well - I didn't go into a total melt down. I didn't let it completely over take me. It was an issue but I soldiered on.

At my graduation and I asked a woman if she could take a photo of me to send to my friends. She said to me that I might want to smile, to show I was happy. I almost started crying, and a little later I almost started sobbing. But I pulled a cheesy fake smile out and smiled. So faking it until I make it.

I graduated today.
 
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So proud of you & so happy for you :D :happy: :D

Thank you so very much for letting us share in your triumph!
So many years of hard work, challenges, lessons, determination, dedication, & effort. So very well done! Congratulations!!!

“You must have the desire to want it, the strength to endure it, the attitude to become it, and the commitment to achieve it.” -Unknown

<grin> And you did!
 
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And what matters is that *you* went! Bravo!
I was upset, but it is an important distinction, yes I was actually there!

So proud of you & so happy for you :D :happy: :D
“You must have the desire to want it, the strength to endure it, the attitude to become it, and the commitment to achieve it.” -Unknown

<grin> And you did!
Thanks it was a hard slough!
 
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Congratulations! You've worked hard. Harder, I suspect, than most of your colleagues know. I'm proud of you. :)

If people in your family thought you weren't important enough to come, to this ceremony or previous ones, they were wrong. You were, and are, important. You might need to work on cultivating a better group of 'people'.

But WAY TO GO DISCO DANCING QUEEN!:hug:
 
It was a bit of a shitty low level type of day. But it was okay as well. There were some good moments. Papa Bear really appreciated the ceremony and he was so proud of me. B was really proud of me as well, and he tried to be positive, he made an effort. Like it was so sweet, in so many ways.

Then he listened to me talk to him about it tonight. So that was most helpful. I need to learn to not be dissociated when I talk about this stuff, so it goes in, that someone listened to me.
 
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