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Four days of hell

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FauxLiz

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Last week I was a finalist for my absolute dream job. I didn't get the job and I have been devastated. My t says that I am grieving and I suppose that I am but I am unable to get past this. I just arrived at peer conference for my entire state and the first question I was asked was if I got the position. I am sure the gentleman that was offered the position will be here this week and so I have to not only deal with interacting with the reminder of the job all day but the questions as well. I have been dealing with S/I and I know it is going to be a struggle this week especially as I won't have therapy this week due to being gone for the conference.
 
Disappointing things happen throughout our lives. I'm sorry this didn't work out. They say that when a door closes, a window will open. Keep your eyes open for that window!!!!,
 
I know what you are feeling... and when we put so much of our self into something, it does feel like the end of things.... but you will work thru this.... not minimizing your feelings at all.... I do understand how it feels to be 'looked over' for something very important to me... and I took it very personal.... but our PTSD brain takes over makes it seem like we are THE failure, No, we aren't... for whatever reason, there is something else planned that will far outweigh this job you didn't get... sounds trite doesn't it... it's not, it's a fact of life.... we put so much pressure on our self to prove our self... that we forget, that is is more about who we ARE, and now what we Do...

You are going to handle being with these people and questions and the person who got the job, with such grace.... with your head held high..... not saying pretending it didn't matter, because it does.... very much ..... but you are going to present yourself in such a way as to make them doubt the choice they made...... we have your back... I understand.... and you just keep writing how this is affecting you and knowing you are not alone with any of it.... cheering you on !!! Complete Faith you are not going to let yourself down with this.... supporting you thru a very hard time in your life....
 
You will find the irony of this funny one day... and you will remember it for many reasons.... story to be continued by @FauxLiz!!!!
 
And the joy of day 2 I arrived for the morning sessions early to get the seat at the table I wanted, he strolls in as they begin to announce the speaker and he takes the only empty chair at my table so I got to listen to all his side conversations about negotiation of his contract and everyone's advice for him on places to live and go out to dinner etc.
 
It may take some time, but something else will come down the path and it will be better than the job that you didn't get. Hang in there!!!!!!!!
 
@ladee yes he knew I work in the public sector so the process was all public including the interview, on the record in front of an audience. He and I were both introduced to the community at a reception the night before

Thanks @She Cat i know I need to let this go it would just be easier if I didn't keep seeing him. I just finished leading a session and there he was.
 
You will let it go when it stops hurting and stinging.... have you told him congrats? That might help... if you don't throw up on his shoes, it will show that you are still the graceful one that knows YOU should have gotten the job....:spitdummy: Gentle hugs to you !!! You are still the winner here as far as I am concerned.... just a couple more days, then you can go home and punch a pillow with his picture on it.... we are here for you.....
 
So , here's the thing about 'dream jobs' I oft find out after the fact (when I don't get them) that they were usually nightmare jobs in reality. Even if you think you have the inside scoop, there's a really good reason you were not chosen and it usually doesn't have anything to do about the other person being 'better' or 'more qualified' it's all about 'fit'. That is to say everything was right but this one tiny thing that would make the other person 'good' and for you it would have eventually made it 'hell'

I interview and hire people all the time and have had to make that difficult call on MANY people. I've only regretted hiring two people. One I was pressured into hiring by someone on the committee and the other was a friend that I hired who just didn't have the personality for the job.
Since then, I've had to hire from within my company several times and had people come up to me after, months later and tell me that they were angry at first but later realized it was actually a really good thing they didn't get the job and understood why.

I'm sorry you didn't get the job but there's something else out there that is waiting for you. And there is something you don't see - a bullet that you are currently dodging.

Either that or the search committee doesn't know it's ass from a hole in the ground and they will rue the day.:D
 
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