• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

Ouch

Status
Not open for further replies.
I hear you and identify. I have been trying to look at it as a message from the Universe to love myself even if no one else does.

My husband loves me but until I met him at 50, it was a very alone life. When I completely gave up on meeting anyone, of course I met him and he practically had to beat my door down.

Re family - it's a mystery. And a total drag. We are built from the beginning of time to be part of a tribe so when we aren't, it's a terrible feeling. It made me feel alone in the universe. A freak. But the facts are I am not a freak, I am a really nice loving person, and if anyone were in my circumstances, they would have known the same experience of necessary exclusion.

With what we are given though, we have to figure what we will make of it.

But it is undeniably an awful feeling.
 
I know what you mean. was raised in family from a Latino cultural background, without being told that was what was happening-didn't know any better because neither of my parents had accents. This was in Texas, of all places. I've never known anything but being attacked out right by people who were supposed to be "my people", out of the blue by strangers, in public places, just because "people don't talk like that/act like that"...and being separated from those I relate to...because I don't look or sound latin...and the cultures are so different, that Latinos dont care for Americans. So believe me, I understand.

But I've learned that you can become your own best friend. And that that is the most important thing, in the long run. Be good to yourself. You deserve it. Don't let anyone tell you differently. Glad you've found the site. Most here know the experience of loneliness, and being sandwiched between that, and fear of relationships.
 
Last edited:
Being adopted doesn't help much either. My parents died 30+ years ago and the rest of my family called me 'not blood' and ignored me for the rest of time. The last of them is gone now. It hurt but the way I saw it was 'better to have no family than a family who could care a less about me'. Losing my parents so young was a tough one. No matter how it goes it isn't pleasant and holidays can just exacerbate the emptiness. I just want to send hugs to you all....
 
@Echo - thanks.

I physically feel like I've been kicked in the chest. I think I'm really grieving this matter. It's hard to even find words for it. But I am finding lots of tears. I think it's a little like it's finally ok to feel this. I've stuffed it for so long.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top