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Depression/anxiety Paperwork

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Sally sue

Confident
This seems like such a small thing, but I'm realizing it's really bothering me and wanted to see what others thoughts were.

A couple weeks ago I saw the psychiatrist (every 6 weeks to check meds) and as always I had to fill out a questionnaire in the waiting room scaling my depression and anxiety. I showed it to him and he said "looks the same as always." This simple comment put me into a spiral! I don't want to go to T now or anything else because I'll have to fill out a paper and I must be failing or something because my responses don't get a lot better each time :(. I feel like I must be lying or making it up...I don't know what to do! Maybe I should just lie and say I'm feeling a lot better, but I keep having triggers, anxiety, and depression :(.

I'm just feeling I'm no good :lurking:.
Im hoping maybe some of you have some thoughts to help me sort it out?
 
I don't really have any advice besides that it would not help you in the slightest to lie about feeling better. How long have you been seeing this psychiatrist? I saw my therapist for 2 years and every 10 weeks I had to fill out a similar form. Mine actually got worse from when I first started and has stayed the same. My issue was that 1) I started therapy after moving out from toxic family and then I started realizing other traumas and abuse and 2) I had a serious fall summer of 2013 and hit my head which for some unknown reason caused me to start having nightmares and flashbacks of abuse as a child and worsened my ptsd.

I think that healing is a very slow progress and we aren't always going to see the benefits right away. Today was my last session with my T and we discussed some of the things I've improved on which is boundaries and trusting myself and admitting I was physically, sexually, and emotionally abused. While I haven't improved much, I have improved even though my anxiety and depression has gotten worse. Sometimes progress can't be defined by current issues I guess is what I'm trying to say..
 
Sounds like he made a dumb comment, and I would be a bit thrown too - but I wouldn't quit therapy just yet.

Sometimes not getting worse is actually a sign of things working - albeit not as much as we want/need them to work. I think if you quit, that is the most sure route to things staying the same or getting worse.

If you don't quit, you are investing in your best chance for recovery over the long haul.

I've read it written on here, and heard my own therapist say, and even experienced, that sometimes things get worse before they get better.

I also think it was a dumb comment and one that might be good to talk to him about - and ask about your progress overall. Ask him what does he think about your progress and what more can be done by you and your treatment providers to help you make faster progress? I ask my own therapist and doctor this in a regular basis - sometimes the answers are helpful (and sometimes I don't like the answers but it's still helpful to hear).

That's just my perspective, you know what's best for you!

*edited to fix a typo.
 
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I keep having triggers, anxiety, and depression :(.
I'm actually confused... on the one hand you want your psychiatrist to say you're getting better, but on the other you admit you keep having triggers, anxiety and depression.

Which is it? To me... and this is just my opinion, but it reads to me as though you want to be better than you are, and you don't like your treating professionals saying so. You have to stop fighting yourself and just accept that recovery takes time and lots of hard work. It doesn't just happen. You go to therapy aiming towards an end goal, so that one day your psychiatrist form does read better.

Stop beating yourself up over your illness. You want to lie to them, so they can lie to you, so you can lie to yourself. Wow... that's an ugly little circle of regret!
 
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