Dragonfly-Dawn
Confident
Hello Everyone,
This is my second post after introductions, and I hope I'm doing it correctly.
I feel very alone and empty. I hate myself. So much so that it is overwhelming. I feel like there is no escape from these feelings or from my life that has resulted from my assault. I wish I didn't feel this way but when it comes down to it, I wish my rapist had killed me. Instead of leaving me to pick up the peices. I have a hard time blaming him, in fact I wonder why he didn't just finish me off. Is it normal to feel that way? I feel weird and awkward that these thoughts are in my mind. I'm just so tired of dealing with the consequences. I feel like sleeping in bed all day.
I know I should be grateful that I'm alive. Able to come home to my husband and baby. But everything has changed now and everyday seems like a battle.
I wish everyone here finds a little peace today.
Xo
This is my second post after introductions, and I hope I'm doing it correctly.
I feel very alone and empty. I hate myself. So much so that it is overwhelming. I feel like there is no escape from these feelings or from my life that has resulted from my assault. I wish I didn't feel this way but when it comes down to it, I wish my rapist had killed me. Instead of leaving me to pick up the peices. I have a hard time blaming him, in fact I wonder why he didn't just finish me off. Is it normal to feel that way? I feel weird and awkward that these thoughts are in my mind. I'm just so tired of dealing with the consequences. I feel like sleeping in bed all day.
I know I should be grateful that I'm alive. Able to come home to my husband and baby. But everything has changed now and everyday seems like a battle.
I wish everyone here finds a little peace today.
Xo