DogwoodTree
MyPTSD Pro
Did anyone here experience spiritual abuse growing up? I wasn't in a formalized cult or anything, and no satanic abuse, but there was a lot of warped spiritual teaching mixed into my everyday experience of abuse/neglect. Also, the man who was our church group's pastor when I was a kid cheated on his wife with my mom in the context of spiritually counseling her, then became my step-dad for several years (and was my primary perpetrator of overt abuse/CSA).
It's been very difficult to get any sort of clear picture of who God is, what love is, what faith is...I know these are tough issues for people anyway, but I find myself questioning things that other people around me never even think to question, and I always feel so distant and lost around other believers (even though I firmly believe God exists...He is good...and He loves me...I just don't experience those things the way people around me seem to).
When I listen to the lessons at church...it doesn't jell for me. So much of it seems so shallow, so self-deceptive, like the whole point is to convince yourself of something and never be concerned with what actual experience says. I understand that faith is about believing what isn't seen, and we'll never get all the answers while we're here. But interpreting scripture in ways that seem to contradict and undermine truth...well, like, I Cor 13 says that "love always trusts" right after it says that "love rejoices in truth." I googled the "love always trusts" phrase, and Rick Warren has an article about how that means we have to give people the benefit of the doubt and believe the best about them no matter how they behave. This seems both foolish and contradictory to me. Seems like what the Bible means when it says "trust" is likely very different than how mainstream Christianity interprets the word "trust."
Anyways, I couldn't find other threads on spiritual abuse issues here...curious on whether others here struggle with this stuff.
It's been very difficult to get any sort of clear picture of who God is, what love is, what faith is...I know these are tough issues for people anyway, but I find myself questioning things that other people around me never even think to question, and I always feel so distant and lost around other believers (even though I firmly believe God exists...He is good...and He loves me...I just don't experience those things the way people around me seem to).
When I listen to the lessons at church...it doesn't jell for me. So much of it seems so shallow, so self-deceptive, like the whole point is to convince yourself of something and never be concerned with what actual experience says. I understand that faith is about believing what isn't seen, and we'll never get all the answers while we're here. But interpreting scripture in ways that seem to contradict and undermine truth...well, like, I Cor 13 says that "love always trusts" right after it says that "love rejoices in truth." I googled the "love always trusts" phrase, and Rick Warren has an article about how that means we have to give people the benefit of the doubt and believe the best about them no matter how they behave. This seems both foolish and contradictory to me. Seems like what the Bible means when it says "trust" is likely very different than how mainstream Christianity interprets the word "trust."
Anyways, I couldn't find other threads on spiritual abuse issues here...curious on whether others here struggle with this stuff.
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