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General I Wanna Know You Inside Out

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Deleted member 28812

Do you know the Brian Adams song?

Do you feel that your "sufferer" lets you know him. Lets you be close to him or does he act like he is second to none?

Does he show when he is surprised or confused or out of his wits? Do you know his highest high or his lowest low?

I am extremly proud of my husband's manliness and the fact he ain't a crybaby and I am so happy that I am with such a manly msn who I know will always provide for me, protect me and be strong for me
 
My sufferer definitely does not let me in. He says he does not mean to have a wall up, but he has lost too many people close to him.
 
Tater does tell me what he's feeling, but he is a dude so he's not as specific as us ladies would be anyway. He doesn't do it often, just when things are starting to take a turn for the worse, so when he does it's usually negative. Sometimes he tells me in actual words like depressed, anxious, "cabbaged," fed-up, etc. Sometimes it's is through his stories; how he felt, what he did about it, and now that he's looking back if he would change anything.

I think he's struck a very good balance. I'm happy with it.
 
My vet is pretty open with me. I have seen him severely depressed, triggered, dissociated, and raging. I have heard a lot of detailed trauma stories, seen his OERs, Purple Hearts, been to docs and therapists with him, even seen footage of some of his trauma therapy.

I have never seen him cry though. Being open doesn't necessarily mean being a crybaby.

I am also 100% positive that he hasn't even told me the worst of it.
 
Being open doesn't necessarily mean being a crybaby.

:confused::wtf::(I did not want to say this. So sorry!

I do appreciate his manlyness and that he tries not to burden me with stuff.
I don't think that people who talk about things are crybabies.

I saw my guy cry but he did not want me to be with him or tell me why and it broke my heart.
 
:O_o: Maybe he doesn't want to cry in front of you, or express himself, or show any slight signs of emotion or/and share his thoughts/feelings with you, because of your mentality of thinking men should be "manly" and not "crybabies". He is a human being! For support to work, labels need to go, along with conditions too. Regardless of gender.
 
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My guy says he tells me everything, but I know for a fact that's not true. I feel that he is very closed about what's going on with him, but he disagrees.

Perhaps the difference of opinion lies in my desire to know intimate details, whereas maybe he thinks that vague statements are sufficient.

I also think that he is used to making excuses and telling white lies for fear of other people thinking he is weak or not understanding. Something we need to talk more about at some point.
 
And some people are naturally just opposed to crying in front of anyone else or showing that they're sad/overwhelmed, etc. regardelss of having been a soldier or PTSD.

I was at my wits end last week and broke down in front of my mom. She later jokingly called me unaffectionate because she had tried to hug me but I was "stiff as a board." Well, I'll give hugs, but I was sooooo angry (not exactly sad), it was super hot, and she's half a foot shorter than me which is awkward to hang onto for a long time that I just wasn't feeling it right then. I usually get embarrassed when I cry in front of others.

The point being, maybe some of these guys are naturally emotionally internal and tight lipped.
 
My ex cried in front of me when his cat was dying. After I went home, we were talking and he made a comment about the fact that he looks like a bad ass but he was crying in front of me. He's a big guy with lots of tattoos. He's also made comments about how our first visit didn't work out, how he fails at everything etc. After that was the suicide plan and later the hospital. He told me how scared he was when he found the lump that's being tested. When we first reconnected he told me I was scaring him and he told me the basics of why he has cptsd. It seems like he tells me a lot, I don't know if he tells others this stuff. I do know that he broke it off, but checks in and the more he's told me, the more he shuts me out.
 
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