Ok, so I am a 21 year old girl who was recently diagnosed with PTSD from sexual assault. The event happened about 9 months ago.
Anyways, ever since the event, I have struggled with a lot of anxiety and depression. I have only had two visual flashbacks that I can remember and it was when I was engaged in sexual activity with my boyfriend, I just suddenly felt that it was the guy who did it to me, instead of my boyfriend. The smell of my boyfriends breath triggered the first one, and the second time, I had been crying and he tried to do sexual things while I was crying and that triggered a memory for me too. Those are the only flashbacks that I have had that were visual. I remember a couple of months after it had happened, that I was worried that this ex boyfriend of mine was going to find me and kill me and I had a hard time relaxing because of this.
I suffer from panic attacks too as a result. I was at the bowling alley with friends and they started throwing the bowling ball, and not going in order and it made me feel like I couldn't breath and I wanted to run out of the building. I didn't know why it had affected me that much. I struggle with a lot of guilt and self-hate. I some times feel like I'm going crazy and that I made this all up, and that I never tried to get him off of me when he was assaulting me. I'm just really confused because I had been professionally diagnosed with PTSD but when I talked to my therapist about it, she said she doesn't think I have PTSD because it has to be a life threatening situation. I don't remember how I felt during the actual assault, but I do know that I felt like he was going to kill me for months after, so if I felt that after, is it possible I felt it during?
I would like to clear up this confusion because I'm getting one message from someone and another from someone else. I don't really have any more visual flashbacks than those two, but I have had a lot of times where I break down crying and hyperventilating for no reason. My therapist says it because of current stress in my life. im just really confused about whether it is PTSD or not or just a normal reaction to the assault.
Anyways, ever since the event, I have struggled with a lot of anxiety and depression. I have only had two visual flashbacks that I can remember and it was when I was engaged in sexual activity with my boyfriend, I just suddenly felt that it was the guy who did it to me, instead of my boyfriend. The smell of my boyfriends breath triggered the first one, and the second time, I had been crying and he tried to do sexual things while I was crying and that triggered a memory for me too. Those are the only flashbacks that I have had that were visual. I remember a couple of months after it had happened, that I was worried that this ex boyfriend of mine was going to find me and kill me and I had a hard time relaxing because of this.
I suffer from panic attacks too as a result. I was at the bowling alley with friends and they started throwing the bowling ball, and not going in order and it made me feel like I couldn't breath and I wanted to run out of the building. I didn't know why it had affected me that much. I struggle with a lot of guilt and self-hate. I some times feel like I'm going crazy and that I made this all up, and that I never tried to get him off of me when he was assaulting me. I'm just really confused because I had been professionally diagnosed with PTSD but when I talked to my therapist about it, she said she doesn't think I have PTSD because it has to be a life threatening situation. I don't remember how I felt during the actual assault, but I do know that I felt like he was going to kill me for months after, so if I felt that after, is it possible I felt it during?
I would like to clear up this confusion because I'm getting one message from someone and another from someone else. I don't really have any more visual flashbacks than those two, but I have had a lot of times where I break down crying and hyperventilating for no reason. My therapist says it because of current stress in my life. im just really confused about whether it is PTSD or not or just a normal reaction to the assault.