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General He's Here...

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technigirl

Learning
...and as expected, it's not been a lot of fun for me. Today was day 1, and it was super weird and awkward, at least for me. He walked over to my team's area a few times, said hi to everyone but me, and we pretty much ignored each other. I didn't even look at him directly, because I didn't want to give him the satisfaction! We didn't even say hi or anything. A couple of people who knew we had been friends asked me about it (one guy called it a "lover's quarrel" to which I replied, "no, it's a divorce."). One guy said it was sad it worked out that way. I guess. I wish people wouldn't feel sorry for me or whatever. They have him sitting only a few rows away from me, so we have ample opportunities to run into each other.

M said they discussed not talking to me. He said ex-friend brought it up and said, "I don't wanna talk to her while I'm in the office." and M said he replied "You shouldn't, because she doesn't want to talk to you either." So yay for M for laying that out for him. I didn't ask him to say that, he just felt that it was for the best. He feels it is best for me if I am not friends with this guy. And, he is probably right. He also said I should get over feeling awkward because ex-friend doesn't care and doesn't feel awkward at all. So, I'm sitting here feeling kind of silly that this is stressful and weird for me, when he is apparently just moseying along with no care at all. He is, apparently, more coldhearted than even I thought. I haven't been upset or cried about this in a while, but for some reason I did today. I think it was just the stress of the situation, certainly not because I want him back as a friend or anything like that. I'm sure everyone will think I'm silly and stupid person for letting it get to me. At least I didn't let it show to him.

4 more days of this. Ugh.
 
Yeah, he's "special". I've come to realize that he's a narcissist. He was probably that way before the PTSD hit. Maybe it made things worse, but I'm betting that he had narcissistic tendencies beforehand.
 
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