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Can't Get Things Done When By Myself

  • Thread starter Deleted member 30956
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Deleted member 30956

I've been alone in this apartment for a while now (my roommate is presently staying elsewhere). Right now I need to get some things done. Good things are going for me starting tomorrow, and I need to prepare by paying bills, organizing my drawers and book shelf, as well as my closet, and cleaning the bathroom. This is the first time in the two years that I've lived here (my first truly safe space and my own space!), that my room has started to look like a normal room should (I had junk piling up on the floor and etc). My boyfriend really helped me to finally get it going in the right direction... even though I wanted to fall through the floor with shame.

I start to feel a massive weight of despair and loneliness bearing down on me, and is with me even if I walk to another room... Thoughts of a bright future do nothing to get me out of it.

What helps is going outside for a bit. But I can't rely on this every single time, can I?

Can anyone relate? Please?
 
I can't seem to edit this post, and would like to delete it
 
I am not sure why you would like to delete it. I can sort of relate. After living alone for an extended period of time though, I became the opposite.

Have you read about the stress cup? I think that may be a huge factor.
 
There are times when I think I'm learning how to live alone, yet other times when the loneliness sets in, when I start to question that?

I'm coping a bit better as I keep myself busy pottering about outside, but I must admit that I'm dreading the winter coming, as I will stuck in the house all the time?
 
I can't seem to edit this post, and would like to delete it
I don't know if the thread itself can be deleted, but if you have a basic pay account, you can at least erase or rewrite the postings. It is $2 a month for that. The premium account is about $7 per month I think. You may be able to delete the entire thread with that one. The free account won't really let you undo anything you have posted. I got frustrated with that, and ran into some trouble, so I got the basic $2 editing account.
 
Hi Salad,

I hope today is a wonderful day for you!

Yes, I can relate! My therapists have been working with me on this frustrating inability to function.

As you are finding, I also do best when I get outside in nature. That's a very good resource for grounding, clearing stress.... Depending upon your personality, you can find many, many resources to go to, to help you function and move forward.

Not a full list, but as examples, of activities, thoughts and places I find helpful, include: being with animals, reading, humor, walking, watching clouds, breathing techniques, visualizing favorite places and activities, gently pushing against something (breaking the overwhelmed freeze), self-nurturing, self-encouraging rather than succumbing to frustration and negative self-talk/ self-criticism, sending a loving, encouraging note to someone, praying, music..... I'm sure many others can add to this small list.

Whatever is good, wholesome.... Think on these things - not the crap. We can defeat ourselves in our minds, or we can lift ourselves - and it's ok to break the negative conditioning from our past. It's ok to no longer accept the negative thoughts about ourselves that others (particularly authority figures) might have thoughtlessly or callously labelled us. It's ok to counter the messages we internalized while being abused.

Negative thoughts act like prison bars, keeping us locked in shame, regret, fear, conditioned helplessness. You can open doors in your mind and heart and begin to walk free and empowered.

I'm glad you couldn't delete your post. Yours is a cry for help that I, too, make - and therapy around this truly helps.

You're not alone in this. :hug:
 
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