hippieatheart
New Here
I'm Not sure this is in the right forum or even where to begin so I guess I'll just jump right in.
One year ago I left my husband of 20 years. He was mentally verbally and emotionally abusive. After I left he tried to rape and kill me and shot and killed himself in front of me.
We have a grown son and a small son. I have never-ending guilt that I took their dad away from them and that by finally standing up for myself I have destroyed my children's life. And yes I know I didn't pull the trigger but that doesn't stop the immense guilt.
The other thing that is really bothering me right now is my low self worth. I cannot shake the feelings that I do not deserve to be happy. That I do not deserve to have a good life. That the only thing I deserve is to get my children raised and then curl up and die in my old age.
I am just going through the days. There are all So empty and meaningless.
I have zero family period and only 2 friends. One is 200 miles away and one is over 1,000 miles away.
I'm not sure what my question is maybe just a sympathetic ear
One year ago I left my husband of 20 years. He was mentally verbally and emotionally abusive. After I left he tried to rape and kill me and shot and killed himself in front of me.
We have a grown son and a small son. I have never-ending guilt that I took their dad away from them and that by finally standing up for myself I have destroyed my children's life. And yes I know I didn't pull the trigger but that doesn't stop the immense guilt.
The other thing that is really bothering me right now is my low self worth. I cannot shake the feelings that I do not deserve to be happy. That I do not deserve to have a good life. That the only thing I deserve is to get my children raised and then curl up and die in my old age.
I am just going through the days. There are all So empty and meaningless.
I have zero family period and only 2 friends. One is 200 miles away and one is over 1,000 miles away.
I'm not sure what my question is maybe just a sympathetic ear