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Anxiety On Public Transportation

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PTSDbegone

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I have a 1.5+ hour commute to work daily on public transit. I have to take a subway train, and then a bus. It's always very busy. I have tried listening to music, listening to calming meditations, reading something light that I'd enjoy. Nothing seems to help. My anxiety is always through the roof. Changing jobs right now is not possible. I have taken a bit of time off lately because I was dissociating so much while on transit I kept getting lost on my way to and from work. I came back to work yesterday after 2 weeks off, and already I feel like I was never off. Any other tips on how to deal with crowded transportation? School will be back in session soon, which means it will only become worse. Moving is also not an option at this time.
 
I really feel for you - being on packed public transport when you're anxious/panicky/triggered/dissociative can be an horrendous experience.

I don't know what sort of work you do - would there be any possible way that you could flex your hours a bit so that you could avoid peak travel times? Even if it was a case of starting/leaving half an hour earlier? Realise this would involve some kind of conversation, which you may not want to do. But It wouldn't necessarily mean you'd have to disclose PTSD if you didn't want to?
 
Also - is there anyone you could be in contact with for all or some of your journey? Maybe someone else who commutes when you do?Texting/emailing/phoning? Might help you to stay present/grounded and being in communication with someone you know might feel reassuring?
 
Thank you all. No there really isn't anyone I can call at that time of day. Plus talking on the phone on packed transportation would drive me a little batty I think. I can't stand when others talk constantly on the phone just over my shoulder. It drives crazy. There are a few people I text with regularly, but that doesn't really help with the anxiety during a commute to work. I am an Arborist, and it's not like I can just quite my job and find another. It's not easy finding a good job in my field. I love my actual job as well. I just can't stand the commute.
 
I feel bad for you. I can't image a 1.5 hours commute on train/bus each day. I had enough issues waiting at rail station, and 15 minute ride. I have issues with crowds (and where I was living then people would "stare" at other people without saying a word - just stare. I'm not use to that.) I also tried music, and didn't work.

What I did to try to stay calm was download podcast to listen to. Something that you can get lost in, and interesting to you. There has to be some for your field, or just a topic your interested in. I find that helped distract me, and helped keep me from dissociating.

I can recommend some if you want.
 
Thanks for the suggestion. I actually have quite a few podcasts I listen to regularly. I'd be lost without them. There was a time that they worked well for me. Now it just doesn't seem to be enough to distract me from my surroundings. The worst part is that I often dissociate, and end up lost. I never know where I am going to end up sometimes.
 
I can relate to this and had a terrible time on public transit - so much so that I don't take it anymore and have had to completely change the way I get to work. And pay more money. But the reward for me is huge as I don't have to deal with that added anxiety bookending my days.

I think @barefoot had a good thought to alter your work hours so that your commute is during off-peak times (if that's an option for you).

Another option is to just wait it out. Often I would wait and wait and sometimes wait longer for a less busy train/bus/whatever to come. Yea, it sucked waiting, but this was part of learning that I had the power to enforce my personal boundaries (e.g. I'm not getting in this car with wall to wall people where I can't breathe or move etc.) It did help to realize I had a choice.

Good luck.

Edited to add: Can you find out if any of your co-workers live near you and can give you a ride? Or just general carpooling options?
 
I'm afraid I don't have any suggestions outside of what you have already tried. Other than, can you afford a taxi service?

Even just one way would cut your anxiety in half.

The only other thing I can think of would be, if there is an affordable pub, restaurant or coffee shop nearby your workplace. Maybe you could walk there after work, order something and read a book for a while, until the commuter rush settles down?

I know how you feel though, can't stand busy transit.
 
So, clearly distraction doesn't work.

How about the opposite? Engaging.

Examples would be focusing on any aspect of the travel that is interesting to you. Whether that's people, landscape, machinery, routes, any aspect... doesn't really matter which.

<chuckling> And by being engaged with people, I don't actually mean being social. I mean everything from counting the average number of passengers on each leg and breaking the demographics down whichever way you please, to who could be concealing weapons, what kind, and where. (Particularly fun to outfit a Granny with Rambo gear under all those layers & in those trunk sized parcels and wheelies they tend to bury themselves under and cart around. Old women are seriously under recognized as legit security threats. I can't wait till I get old. James Bond, up ;)).
 
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