Broken Dahlia
Confident
I am so upset. I have had chest pain for a week and my husband called to see if I need to go to the doctor, which devolved into arguing again about his family and their shitty comments about me. He said he is stuck in the middle and the stress isn't good for him. Ha! Told him to go talk to a counselor about that, not me. Went round and round, ending up at the same place as always. He hung up on me after I hung up on him (2 calls).
After we hung up I called the women's shelter I used to donate stuff to, I was so upset. I thought that they would tell me that they couldn't help me since he has never hit me, but the intake counselor said that several red flags appeared to her and to take this seriously. They want me to start counseling there again, but this time in the domestic violence department. Apparently breaking things, punching holes in walls is abusive behavior. They called him a perpetrator; I am heartbroken. He has been my sole support through all of this; I have pretty much cut off my family because of their abuse- he is all I have left.
I don't know what to do; he thought he could get counseling there too, like before, but he can't now as a perpetrator. Do I tell him? How do I tell him? I am so sad for us both right now. How did it get so bad? I don't know if I can ever trust anyone not to hurt me when I get to be too much for them to handle. I am too much for everyone I have ever met.
I am most afraid that this is really all PTSD, all me, and if I do leave him I will be alone forever. Friends and family haven't stuck by me; why would anyone else?
After we hung up I called the women's shelter I used to donate stuff to, I was so upset. I thought that they would tell me that they couldn't help me since he has never hit me, but the intake counselor said that several red flags appeared to her and to take this seriously. They want me to start counseling there again, but this time in the domestic violence department. Apparently breaking things, punching holes in walls is abusive behavior. They called him a perpetrator; I am heartbroken. He has been my sole support through all of this; I have pretty much cut off my family because of their abuse- he is all I have left.
I don't know what to do; he thought he could get counseling there too, like before, but he can't now as a perpetrator. Do I tell him? How do I tell him? I am so sad for us both right now. How did it get so bad? I don't know if I can ever trust anyone not to hurt me when I get to be too much for them to handle. I am too much for everyone I have ever met.
I am most afraid that this is really all PTSD, all me, and if I do leave him I will be alone forever. Friends and family haven't stuck by me; why would anyone else?