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Sufferer Imprisoned In My Mind.

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GG2489

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Hi, my name is Georgia.

I suffer with CPTSD and BPD. I have been unwell since my early childhood.
At present I am stuck in a continuous cycle nothingness. My life has not changed in over 10yrs apart from getting worse. I have tried so hard to make something of my life.
I started counselling again which was really hard as my last therapist tried to groom me and is now in prison.
I feel so trapped. I know for things to change I must change.
I hope to find some strength and learn from others how to be stronger and try to have a life.
I feel as if I am not suppose to be here. That somewhere during my life I should of died.
I feel only pain inside, fear and complete sadness. I am lost..
 
Welcome Georgia. I am new here also. The first thing that occurred to me while reading and participating, was, I am not alone. So many on here, feel like I do, have many similar parts of their stories, and is a very positive and encouraging atmosphere. So much experience and the people here will help. I am sorry for the circumstances of you being here, but I am happy you are here. Sending you hugs if you accept them:hug:
 
Hi, my name is Georgia.

I suffer with CPTSD and BPD. I have been unwell since my early childhood.
At p...


Welcome to the forum!

I am SO SORRY that the other therapist groomed you and you had to go through that! Thats horrible! But i find your courage so very insipiring! I find you so brave! :hug:

I also have BPD and i know that its a rollercoaster of emotions so know i understand.

FYI: my therapist last week told me that in the new DSM 5th edition, there are a few medications now approved for BPD; just in case you wanna ask about it.

Its good to have you here! :hug:
 
I can reckognize what you are writing about as Im feeling the same and Im terrified this will be all that my life ends up to. I decided to break it into one year at the time for two years ago. And Id allow my self the right to not live if I cant make this work. Putting a time limit seems to be doing fine with me. When I have this one year I feel its easier to put all my effort into finding solutions. So as said Im now living one year over time allready. Everyday trying not to curse the dark, but find a light in there if ever so weak. Being here to helps.
 
Thank you all for your kind words.
I don't have anyone to talk to where I am. Partly because I don't want to trouble anyone, I don't trust anyone and partly because I don't have any friends.
I am greatful to have found this sight. Now at least in my very dark hours I know I can reach out here.
Every day is so hard. I feel so useless and a tremendous amount of shame. For not being a procuctive part of this world. I also feel guilty as I am so much luckier then many people in this world. I have my own home, food in my cupboards, and although my brain is not it's self my body is ok. So many people would be so happy with this.
Thank you again for reaching out to me. Your all amazing.. :)
 
Hi Georgia this forum is really helpful, I've been here since last may and have felt a lot better thanks to the supportive people here. Welcome!
 
Welcome to the forum!

I am SO SORRY that the other therapist groomed you and you had to go th...

Thank you for your kind message. I am in fact looking for a new medication as the one I am on is not working any more.. I will check with my GP about the new meds. Only really been on meds for my CPTSD and not for my BPD.. So thank you..
Georgia
 
@GG2489
There is a lot of info on medications and personal experiences around the forums, feel free to give it a search :)
 
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