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What Do You Do In Crisis

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I do not want to be hospitalised or medicated so I want to ask what helps instead of those things when you are feeling suicidal, I have been feeling this way for a while now and find it hard to stop the thoughts. I don't want to do it. My only friend in the world is useless and doesn't understand. I need ideas that will keep me hopeful, please help..
 
Why are you so against medication? If you are severely depressed. Meds can help. Will take awhile to kick in but there is relief.

Why suffer if you don't have to?
 
That's not good. Sorry to hear that. Time for a plan B. Do you have a therapist?
 
Are you currently in therapy?

I've struggled off and on with long periods of sucidal thoughts and feelings. When they are in over crazy mode, I make a second therapy appointment(I go weekly). It's been my best defense thus far. I go, and be totally blunt and honest about what I'm thinking and feeling. T listens wholeheartedly and really has a lot of compassion. We go through the feelings and as many grounding exercise that I can tolerate. I, usually crazy sad or angry and I can process it in a safe place.

Then he asks me to share with my husband so he knows I'm struggling with being here and for me to have some self compassion, and take life as easy as possible
 
I'm sorry that you are suffering.

I hope my writing below is helpful. From what you've said you've already tried to find the right med.

I believe there is a med that will work for you and that won't increase suicidal ideation. It takes diligence on you and on your Provider's part, to keep trying different meds. Have Providers encouraged you to keep trying?

Some people (myself included) need smaller doses than others. Normal doses threw me into a crisis-my brain had too much of the chemicals.
 
I am sorry you're suffering and I wish I had some profound wisdom, but struggle with this too sometimes. I make small safety contracts with myself, hour by hour. I'll go and read in a library because isolation can be dangerous. Eventually my urges pass, I know yours doesn't seem to pass though. Please keep trying, I'm glad you're on here today. :)
 
I have the same issue with meds. Increases my si big time so haven't been on them in five years. One thing that works to break that insidious cycle is connection. When I can get the energy to go outside, I'll start conversations with anyone I meet. That human interaction - even with strangers - eases and sometimes squashes the si. And therapy of course. If I'm feeling more capable, helping someone - giving the dude on the corner $10 or helping at the food pantry or animal rescue - works.
 
I'm there at the moment too and I too do not want to take meds. They don't help me.
Today I went for a swim - that always helps a bit. Saw a dear old friend who struggles on and off s this too - that does really help, to know I'm not alone.
I cried a lot. That just made me tired.
I just keep thinking it will pass over, it always does eventually.
It's weird how it comes on so strong though sometimes. I also think to myself that I will eventually die in some way or another. I don't have to mskd it happen, and in the time allotted to me who knows what may happen.
There is alwsys a slither of hope in life and you really cannot predict what the future will bring.
So for that small slither I think I can hang in there and at least not cause terrible pain to others.
I hope one day this aching black hole inside eases up - for you too!
 
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