Here I go again. I just got woke up by a strange dream. I went back to one of my old jobs but nothing was the same. The people that I knew there were now bodybuilders and strong as an ox. The job had turned into a place to house monsters. These creatures were scary. They keep reaching out...
I when to the VA yesterday.
Well how do I say this and still come off politically correct? Since I am not in the mood to be PC please forgive me for a minute so I can get this out of my system. The VA did not even come close to improving my opinion about human nature. I have been discussing...
I just woke up from a strange dream. I was out fishing with my oldest son. Everything was going great until we decided to eat a bite of lunch. My wife packed us a lunch in a cooler. While we were sitting in the back of the boat eating I saw one of my son's fishing poles bend over. I told him...
Well let's try this again
My basic opinions about humans have not changed since my last entry on this thread. However I have been going out of my way to find more of the good. I am still hypervigilant and have to watch my first impression of people. People are what people are, however how I...
Thank you Tammy
I never thought about the home representing my psyche. Your right I will not let my guard down because in hate to be seen as weak. One of the main reasons why I avoided treatment for my PTSD. I don't believe I'm a perfectionist. However I am a control freak. Thank you for...
Last night I dreamed that I was a nice lake house that needed some repair. However you could tell at one time it was very impressive. I had my wife and kids with me. I also had some close friends with us. everything was going great then one of the guys tried to kiss me. I lost my mind and...
Thank you Tammy
Yes I have a huge ego. I have been surpressing my opinions at work because most of the people that I work with strikes me as complete idiots that are hiding behind their government jobs. If I express my opinion at work right now it could stop my next promotion. Yes I am very...
In my dream last night I was being chased by some dark force. I did not see this force therefore I could not identify it. I felt it's present behind me. when I would slow down from running it would get closer and almost smoother me. I was being chocked but my breathing would get shallow...
Thank you Seeking Nirvana
Getting in touch with my feminine side is easier said than done. I am emotionally numb most of the time. I'm not into the huggy, feely stuff. I do agree that I need to work on this. The emotion of anger comes alot easier than the nicer emotions. I'm not scared to...
The last dream that I can recall was as follows: I was at work in my office and I got into a arguement with one of my co-workers. Some how it went from an arguement to a sexual situation. Before I knew it another co -worker walked in and caught us. The other staff walking in cause me to wake...
I have been having some strange dreams lately. I usually only remember bits and pieces of my dreams. However now I remember them as if they were real. Before I started the meds. my dreams would wake me up about every 2 hours. Now I sleep 8 or 9 hours but the dreams stay with me all day.
Thank you Morgan
I am now on an anti-convolsant, an anti-depressant, and a beta-blocker. At my last meeting with my Dr. I convenced her to talk to the rest of the Dr. working on my case so they can get their heads out of their a**. I would love to get into a PTSD program. However the last time...
Well I'm just starting treatment for PTSD with the VA. I have been doing this for about 3 months and it seems as if they are passing the buck. I have seen one social worker, one nutritionous, 3 mental health Dr. and one rating Dr.. I have tried 6 different meds. and am currently taking 2 meds...
I went fishing in a new Lake.
I took a day off work and went fishing. The water was 62 degrees and the air was 51 degrees when I put the boat in at 7 am . Wow the water felt cold. After I got on the boat I had to change into dry warm clothes. My boat was the only one on the lake. I did not...
Thank you junebug
Well today was interesting I had a fellow staff member cry to me about how sad her life was. Wow it is amazing after listening to her story I had a wierd sence of my life is no near that bad. I have never felt self pity but I know I'm not as happy as I should be. I raised...
What a day. Today I had the blind leading the blind. Way too many new staff. I was running from place to place to keep things somewhat normal. The staff that had time on the books had no common sence therefore I had to watch them also. My treatment specialist should have called me back for...
First day of Treatment.
I had a pre-meeting with my Dr. to up my meds. At the end of the meeting she told me that if I feel overwhelmed after my next meeting to ask for something to calm me down. Well the next meeting I spent and hour and a half explaining my PTSD symptions. Which goes into...
Well today at my friends house, we got into a heated debate about churches. I love a good debate as long as no one touches me. I had fun but I believe that I might have offended some friends. Oh well did I mention that I hate to lose anything. I'll find out later if I still have these...