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  1. M

    When Someone On The Board Goes Missing

    With some, it's very easy to slip away, but difficult to return.
  2. M

    Money Yuck!!

    I have periods of the same actions. At the time I feel overwhelmed by the need to pay my bills on time, but I think it may be another form of self injury. Then I over compensate by paying too much and having an unnecessary credit.
  3. M

    Why Am I Afraid Of My Therapist?

    I have moments of strength that quickly dissolve. I use these moments when I can, to push through actions that I am stuck on. Otherwise I just bury everything deep inside.
  4. M

    Why Am I Afraid Of My Therapist?

    I never did, Stardust. I get stuck frequently, and I just suffer through it, rather than put myself out there. I agree with everything you and the others have said. They are good ideas for everyone else but me. My fear and shame interfere with every aspect of my life.
  5. M

    Full Time Work

    Your jobs seems like a good fit for you. Congratulations!
  6. M

    Wishing All Canadian Members, A Happy And Safe Thankgiving.

    Happy Thanksgiving to you as well. We are roasting a turkey to share with family tonight, and will dine again with friends tomorrow. This is one if my favorite holidays.
  7. M

    Unexplained Chest/hand Pain

    A month and a half ago, I woke up in the middle of the night with severe chest pain. I had difficulty breathing, and also had pain in my leg. I chewed on an aspirin, because I thought I was having a heart attack, but I was in the middle of the woods with my family, an hour away from the closest...
  8. M

    Need Advice...

    I think you did everything right. If you stay with this person, expect more of the same, followed by heartfelt apology. You also need to set an example for your children on what the boundaries of a relationship are. There are people out there who are kind and supportive.
  9. M

    What To Never Say To A Ptsd Sufferer

    "You will work it out. You always do." That was the answer I received from my Occupational Therapist when I told him about about a problem I was having with a counseling referral. It is next to impossible for me to ask for help, and now I want to crawl into a hole. I wish he knew how upset I...
  10. M

    Self harm in adults with ptsd

    When stress and fear is keeping me awake, I visualize the incision of my SI, and the outcome that results. I need very graphic visuals to unseat the grip of fear.
  11. M

    Edinburgh University

    Excellent work! Congratulations!
  12. M

    Why Am I Afraid Of My Therapist?

    Hashi, I know you are right, and I wish I could do this, but I can't. Many times in sessions, I sit there thinking, "Please ask me ...." I don't expect her to read my mind, but I cannot ask for help, or open up - this is related to my trauma. Ironically, I share way more with my Occupational...
  13. M

    Why Am I Afraid Of My Therapist?

    This afternoon I have an appointment for EMDR therapy. I have seen this therapist sixteen times since last November, I have had four or five sessions of EMDR, I have flooded only once, and generally feel a little better after the sessions. She is a nice lady. Why am I filled with anxiety and...
  14. M

    Child Grooming: I Can't Wrap My Head Around It

    Adolescents make mistakes, and need caring adults to guide them, to show interest and care for them. It was not your fault. We all want to feel loved, even if we don't have a good idea of what that should look like. Don't be hard on yourself. You deserve kindness and compassion.
  15. M

    Child Grooming: I Can't Wrap My Head Around It

    Some people are so evil that they would do this to a child without remorse. You have nothing to be ashamed of, but they do. Unfortunately, they likely have no conscience. Hugs to you if you will accept them.
  16. M

    Help! Advice Needed...

    Hi James, I hope my suggestion is not too simplistic, but sometimes it works for me. I keep a small stone/charm/talisman in my pocket, and I rub it with my finger when I am frightened. I have given it powers to protect me. I also stare into space and try to look deep in thought. Hopefully those...
  17. M

    Analogy: My Ptsd Feels Like...

    I feel like I have gone through a glass window, and now I have large shards of glass sticking out of me. I have to keep very still, or the shards will shift and make the cuts wider.
  18. M

    I Don't Know What To Do And I Am Looking For Advice.

    Thanks for your suggestions, Hashi. I am a somewhat functioning person. I can push myself to work, because I must, but it is hell. I have horrible anxiety before work and during, and I self-isolate by not leaving my area unless necessary. I have been unable to attend staff meetings or weekly...
  19. M

    I Don't Know What To Do And I Am Looking For Advice.

    On Friday I have an appointment with my fairly new Family doctor and my current Occupational Therapist (OT). This is a formality that the OT needs to continue working with me. I am dreading this appointment because the OT will likely ask me what I want to do next, and I really dont know. I am...
  20. M

    Ptsd And Parenting

    Trauma has impaired my parenting skills. I am working so hard to keep myself together, that I am sometimes unable to deal with my now teens. Sometimes I just emotionally check out. I go upstairs and pretend to fold laundry.
  21. M

    I Know My Nightmares Are Not Reality, But My Body Feels Like It Really Happened.

    Thanks for your responses, everyone. It sucks that my subconscious is able to get me so upset. The images are so vivid that I cannot get them out of my head. Even with grounding, these images become false memory of a past event.
  22. M

    I Know My Nightmares Are Not Reality, But My Body Feels Like It Really Happened.

    Last night I had a very scary and violent nightmare. In my dream, I was so frightened that I was shaking violently. When I woke up, my body felt that I had lived this experience, even though I know I did not. Five hours later, I am still on edge. Is it possible to have physical experiences from...
  23. M

    What's Keeping You Alive?

    The fear that my death would increase the chance that my children would become suicidal. Although I kept the details secret, my son became depressed and suicidal shortly after.
  24. M

    Complex Trauma And Working Out

    I believe that my recently acquired belly fat is from my stress. When I wake up in a panic, I feel this sick tingling that originates in my core, then spreads to my arms and legs.
  25. M

    Self harm in adults with ptsd

    I used to self harm thirty years ago, and I struggle with starting again. There are no age limits for this. I think some adults don't get help for this because they think that it is a response more common for teens or young adults. Not true.
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