Great article – thank you Anthony! Over the last ten years you’ve said things similar to this, but this time I’m actually in the right head space to take your advice and start using my triggers to help me recover.
Way to go gizmo and AngelaMarie - you guys inspire me to keep going!
And I will keep going, but the voice in my head is just so critical. I keep telling myself to be nice to myself, and speak to myself like I would a friend, and in the moment it's not a problem. But it's like I have a devil...
Gizmo, I'm not sure if this helped you to the extent it has me, but I hope so.
We got another dog (puppy) almost two weeks ago and it's been a little overwhelming. I haven't been able to go out (even if I wanted too), because she seems to think the crate is for pooping and I can't trust her...
I didn't get hit Pale Warrior, but I was criticized and told I was just doing it to get attention. It didn't matter that my "tales" of abuse were true, just that I was being a drama queen. So up until about 3-4 years ago, I only cried in the shower and it was quietly so no one would hear me...
Way to go KP, that's awesome! And I'm so glad you took the challenge as well - you have made us all proud!
As for me... I haven't been counting the days because it's frustrating, but I'm definitely becoming more aware of my negative self talk.
I was doing great and then out of the blue I called myself "roly poly" lol! Not even sure where it came from because I'm not really that roly poly! Day 1.
Srain, I'm the exact same way. I would never speak to anyone the way I speak to myself - Never! People think I'm one of those people that wouldn't say "S*#t" if my mouth were full of it, yet the stuff I say to myself...
Day one, but getting really good at it. I actually hit day three...
I can totally relate to this... I imagine all kinds of bad things happening and if there are any loud noises, I jump out of my seat. There are far too many people driving without licenses and insurance because they've been charged and all I can think about is, what if they hit me? There will...
Going to the "worst case scenario" is definitely part of the PTSD thing for me too AlmostHome. I would think about finding a job where you feel more comfortable and don't feel like you need to defend yourself. Hope your back starts feeling better soon.
I think the only way to get "comfortable" with our trauma/s is to talk about it, but getting to that point (for me), is really hard. So if you're there Maze and you can talk about it, I say do it. Let me live vicariously through you. :)
I'm back on day one... I know I can get past this, but I had a bit of a trigger and I'm having trouble being nice to myself... But I am aware and that's what is important.
It definitely puts a different outlook on it, doesn't it Albatross. I think I may be able to get a better handle on it now that I know why I'm doing a lot of it.
Maybe if I just say to myself - when I'm about to say something nasty to myself - "You're not her." And I'm not - the only thing we...
This is so true Smallhold! I definitely feel like I'm the one being punished, not my abusers. They are out there roaming around free and clear, like nothing has happened, and I'm a prisoner in my own home. Sure it's getting better, and I'm starting to get out a lot more, but I still feel like...
This is one of the hardest things to do... I seem to be going along just fine and then I catch myself in the mirror and I say the nastiest things...
And as I sit here typing away I'm having an "aha" moment! I realize the reason for a lot of my negative self talk isn't because I hate myself...
Hi Bimble,
Sorry I'm just getting to this now, but I read one of your posts and wanted to know your story before I said anything. Now that I have, I had to comment on the fact that you fell off your chair while in the middle of a flashback because I have definitely experienced something very...
LMAO! Nighthawk, you made me belly laugh! :)
Don't feel stupid Albatross, I don't know about you, but I've been telling myself negative crap for as long as I can remember... Could be close to forty, maybe forty-two years - but who's counting lol! Anyway, for me it will take at least a...
As I continue to read the posts to this thread, you all make me want to reach out and hug you! Not only because my heart hurts for you, but because it makes me realize that amongst each other, we are normal. :inlove: