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  1. M

    What I Hate The Most About Ptsd

    I think the thing I absolutely hate the most about PTSD is that even when I do something I enjoy, something fun, or something I've looked forward to that's just a tad off center from my normal scheduled day, my body and mind let me know about it in not so pleasant ways. This afternoon a bunch...
  2. M

    Five Years Later...

    July 1st was the five year anniversary of my breakdown thanks to PTSD. Five years ago (plus a few days) I was a different person than I am now. Some ways I think are better, a few are worse. I do know deep down inside that I'm not the same person I was before. I can't quantify it or make a...
  3. M

    Adapt and Overcome

    For anyone who's ever been in the military, the phrase 'adapt and overcome' becomes part of your vocabulary and, at least for my husband and I (both vets), it never leaves. Saturday I had a day that a little more stressfull than usual (my daughter went to her prom, we stayed up late to get...
  4. M

    OMG...Girl Scout Cookie Ice Cream!!!

    I don't know if the rest of the world gets Girl Scout Cookies in mid-February like we do in the states. If so...you know how addictive they are. Yes, they're expensive. Yes, they're only around for a few weeks a year. Yes, they are SOOOOO worth it. I just found out the other day that there is...
  5. M

    Physical Pain From PTSD

    For the longest time, the physical and mental/emotional components of PTSD had been about equal. As I’ve worked on my traumas and moved towards healing I’ve found that the mental/emotional components have become a bit easier to live and deal with. Yes, sometimes I can be knocked on my ass with...
  6. M

    I Guess PTSD Was Just A Little Too 'Real' For Them

    Small vent. I read about a study where they were looking for people who either had dealt with or are dealing with depression to do a 'what depression does to cardiovascular health' study. I figured ok...I'd like to be able to help and I've dealt with depression most of my life, etc. I even...
  7. M

    Things You Can Live Without/Can't Handle Anymore

    Three years ago when my PTSD hit the fan, I stopped wearing all jewlery except my wedding ring and earrings when I work. I know it's odd...but earrings are just part of the work 'uniform' to me. I also stopped wearing perfume, too. I used to love wearing different perfumes to go with different...
  8. M

    News Study Focuses on PTSD and Pregnancy in Military Women

    A University of South Florida College of Public Health project investigating the impact of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) on the pregnancy outcomes of women in the military has been funded as part of the Pentagon’s unprecedented $300-million initiative to study PTSD and traumatic brain...
  9. M

    I Got A Job!!!!!

    OMG! I'm still shaking and crying. I received a job offer in my email at the local university. I had given up hope of hearing from them (or anyone, really). I spent three hours this morning at a temp agency testing and filling out forms. I opened my email and there it was. I have to go there...
  10. M

    A Question of Guilt

    When my PTSD was first so out of control in my life and I lived with so much pain (physical and mental) as a constant companion, I used to think I would give anything to feel good again. In the past three years of recovery I've had my back and forth times. Times when I felt ok to pretty damned...
  11. M

    Fatigue

    One of the worst parts of PTSD for me to adapt to was the fatigue. I was always the person who was brimming with energy and ready to take on just about anything. Then suddenly I was too tired to do anything after work but sleep. I was exhausted on the weekends and couldn't even handle grocery...
  12. M

    Sleep Cycles

    When my PTSD first started it was so dibilitating that I ended up on meds almost immediately. For most of a year I slept fairly well due to the meds. It's been 15 months since I've been off of medication. While going through withdrawals I had some nasty nightmares. I had no nightmares...at...
  13. M

    Vent - Frustration With Memory

    My memory, especially my memory for vocabulary, is shot to hell. It has been since the PTSD. I kept telling myself that I'd give myself time and time and yet more time in order to try and not push too hard about this whole memory thing. I figured the more I worried and stressed the longer it...
  14. M

    Stripped To The Bone

    Does anyone else feel that PTSD has stripped them down to the bone? Down to the bare bone? Prior to PTSD I had a lot of areas in my life that were important to me. Friends, activities, volunteering. These were in addition to my family. I felt that my life was full and well balanced. When the...
  15. M

    News Overdose Kills ex-Ft. Bliss, TX Soldier

    Former Fort Bliss Army Spc. Joseph Dwyer, whose photograph depicting him carrying a wounded boy to safety during the first days of the ground war in Iraq became a symbol of the U.S. Army, died late last month of an overdose at home in North Carolina, Army officials and police said Sunday...
  16. M

    Indifference

    I've noticed recently that I am feeling indifferent about things. It's odd because I've always been the one to care about a lot of different things. I even find that I get indifferent about other people. It's like I can completely tune out things/people. Not think, not care...it's like they stop...
  17. M

    After Trauma - Having or Not Having Children

    I was talking to a woman I know about children. She knows some of my past history. She told me that she had been sexually abused as a child (she doens't have PTSD) and had seen sexual abuse of the women in her life (family and friends) and had made the decision to not have any children based on...
  18. M

    Poll Do You Notice A Rise In Symptoms Prior To Getting Ill?

    I recently had a really nasty cold a couple of weeks ago. It's been years since I've had such a rotten cold. Two days before it hit I had a dramatic rise in symptoms. Granted it was short-lived (one evening) and the next day I had what I call my recovery day where I'm absolutely drained and have...
  19. M

    One Year Off Of Medication

    One year ago today I took my last dose of klonopin. I've been medication free since. Although I'll be the first one to admit to craving it (sometimes almost unbearably) when life gets hairy. It's the same type of craving I get for cigarette and I quit smoking three and a half years ago. My...
  20. M

    Why Do We Keep Coming Back?

    I way laying in bed last night and asked myself the above question. When I first started with the forum in October of 2006, it was almost an obsession because I found a group of people who understand the insanity that my life had become with PTSD. I felt connected like I hadn't felt in a long...
  21. M

    Time For Healing

    Among the many life lessons that I've learned with my PTSD, one of the last (and to me one of the most important ones) I've learned is to give myself time. I have always been a very organized, scheduled person. Both in my business and private life. While it is applauded and rewarded in a...
  22. M

    Another Person Diagnosed With PTSD

    I received a call tonight from my mother. During the conversation she told me that my brother (who was diagnosed with bi-polar at almost the same time I was diagnosed with PTSD) has now been diagnosed with PTSD. He was a police officer and then a firefighter/paramedic. I've not spoken with him...
  23. M

    My Grandson

    My grandson, Damien, was born on Sunday, March 23, 2008 at 9:13pm. I had to very wonderful opportunity to be in the delivery room with mommy. Actually it was a family affair. Her boyfriend, her father and sister, a friend and I were all in there. Oh...he weighed 9 pounds, 3 ounces and was 21.5...
  24. M

    Poll PTSD And Hearing Problems

    Does anyone else have a hearing problem in addition to PTSD? I have Central Auditory Processing Disorder. Basically my ears take in the raw sounds of life but the processing of that sounds into words, daily noise, etc. in my brain gets messed up. So that I have trouble hearing and...
  25. M

    Stood Up To a Bully

    Today at work I confronted an obnoxious bully. One of the salesmen where I work is a big guy with a big, booming voice. He tries to intimidate people with his size by looming over them. If that doesn't work, he uses his big voice to try and bully people. He reminds me a whole lot of my dad...
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