I can relate. My husband suffers from bipolar with psychosis and the new virus has set off his paranoia. He created a computer program to track it and is obsessed and has to update it everyday. For me it’s extremely stressful and difficult to watch him go through this level of fear.
Yes, I saw my rapist face. I tried to avoid the news as much as possible but her testimony appeared as I happened to turn on to listen for a traffic report. Really rotten timing. I was a complete mess and still trying to dig myself out.
It was kind of a mixed experience for me. The act itself was quick, I was caught by surprise. When I realized what was happening and while I was saying stop, it felt like eternity trying to get away. I don't know if that makes sense but when I try to process my rape I automatically go to that...
Overstimulation for me is rough on any occasion. Add PTSD and it makes me batty.
I can't really avoid more than two people talking because of my children but I do manage to get a few minutes between conflicts to jump in the shower or hop in my car and blast the radio.
My staple for outside...
I believe they have meaning. My therapist and I have been working on my nightmares. He always tells me that they are symbolic and unresolved issues from the traumas.
Yes, after all these years songs from Marvin Gaye triggers memories and I see the my rapists face. It's a shame because I used to love listening to his music.
No gun. It would be too much of a temptation to use it on myself after waking up from my never ending nightmares. I also have children in the house so obviously that's a big risk. I used to sleep with a screwdriver under my pillow but removed that because I was hurting myself during sleep.
Hypervigilance for me is like walking eggshells, waiting for a conflict to happen. I can't completely relax even though my environment is ok. Feel claustrophobic when people are behind me and being large crowds. Even hugs from my kids are unbearable when I'm feeling like this. It makes sad that...
The message that you can feel anger and have to learn to control reactions is extremely frustrating for me. I have rage all the time and don't feel safe expressing it for fear of judgement from others. As a result my anger is turned inward. Sometimes I wish I can let loose without filter, it...
To answer the questions about the aggressiveness, my husband and I are hitting a rough patch at the moment. When we argue my mind and body respond to the night of my trauma. I'm just frustrated with myself that after all of the years that have past since it happened I still overreact. It's...
First, I would like to thank you for your service.
I don't think you fears are abnormal, considering your experiences. As a mother of two girls I'm constantly afraid that they will endure the same violent traumas as mine and most of the time it drives drives me crazy. Now that you're...
Having some domestic issues with my husband. When he gets aggressive I cower because it's a humongous trigger to when he had a mental health break and terrified me. So I avoid when I can. Avoidance usually makes me feel worthless because I become non-functioning. When I get that way it turns...
I avoid conflict and touch. I hide when there is conflict. The only people who can hug me are my kids and sometimes that's hard to do. I cannot have anyone hover behind me so I'm always on edge in my surroundings.
My daughter found out about my struggles by accident a couple of years ago and was very upset and called my therapist to help me. When we met with him, I decided to only give her a general explanation of what was going on and he reassured her that he will help me and she had nothing to worry...
I've had similar problems with panic attacks that have returned recently. It feels like an actual heart attack, very physically painful. It's hard to distinguish between the two as they are similar in symptoms. I actually had a work up on my heart and everything is fine. I read a book that...