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    General PTSD and fear of coronavirus

    I can relate. My husband suffers from bipolar with psychosis and the new virus has set off his paranoia. He created a computer program to track it and is obsessed and has to update it everyday. For me it’s extremely stressful and difficult to watch him go through this level of fear.
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    What are your pet peeves ?

    Tailgaters who ride on my bumper and have plenty of room to pass me on the left side. Those who have bad manners.
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    Childhood The hearing yesterday (stressor discussion, not political discussion)

    Yes, I saw my rapist face. I tried to avoid the news as much as possible but her testimony appeared as I happened to turn on to listen for a traffic report. Really rotten timing. I was a complete mess and still trying to dig myself out.
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    Sexual Assault Did it happen super quickly to others too?

    It was kind of a mixed experience for me. The act itself was quick, I was caught by surprise. When I realized what was happening and while I was saying stop, it felt like eternity trying to get away. I don't know if that makes sense but when I try to process my rape I automatically go to that...
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    Guess who got a ba??

    That's wonderful, congratulations.
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    Too much sensory input

    Overstimulation for me is rough on any occasion. Add PTSD and it makes me batty. I can't really avoid more than two people talking because of my children but I do manage to get a few minutes between conflicts to jump in the shower or hop in my car and blast the radio. My staple for outside...
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    News Do dreams really have meaning?

    I believe they have meaning. My therapist and I have been working on my nightmares. He always tells me that they are symbolic and unresolved issues from the traumas.
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    Hearing music that's associated with your trauma

    Yes, after all these years songs from Marvin Gaye triggers memories and I see the my rapists face. It's a shame because I used to love listening to his music.
  9. H

    Poll Do You Sleep With A Gun Under Your Pillow?

    No gun. It would be too much of a temptation to use it on myself after waking up from my never ending nightmares. I also have children in the house so obviously that's a big risk. I used to sleep with a screwdriver under my pillow but removed that because I was hurting myself during sleep.
  10. H

    What is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen or heard?

    My beautiful daughters, every year since they were born.
  11. H

    Death A friend died last night

    So for your loss. He sounds like a wonderful person.
  12. H

    Prayer Requests

    Just said my prayers for you and sending support from a distance.
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    What is hypervigilance like for you?

    Hypervigilance for me is like walking eggshells, waiting for a conflict to happen. I can't completely relax even though my environment is ok. Feel claustrophobic when people are behind me and being large crowds. Even hugs from my kids are unbearable when I'm feeling like this. It makes sad that...
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    Need to learn to be angry??

    The message that you can feel anger and have to learn to control reactions is extremely frustrating for me. I have rage all the time and don't feel safe expressing it for fear of judgement from others. As a result my anger is turned inward. Sometimes I wish I can let loose without filter, it...
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    The dam just broke

    I can relate to the exhaustion of trying to keep everything together. Sounds like it's been a tough day. Sending support from a distance.
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    No compassion for me even in tragedy.

    Wish I could help you in person. You are worth saving and deserve peace and compassion.
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    Avoiding the hubby

    To answer the questions about the aggressiveness, my husband and I are hitting a rough patch at the moment. When we argue my mind and body respond to the night of my trauma. I'm just frustrated with myself that after all of the years that have past since it happened I still overreact. It's...
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    Fear of losing child

    First, I would like to thank you for your service. I don't think you fears are abnormal, considering your experiences. As a mother of two girls I'm constantly afraid that they will endure the same violent traumas as mine and most of the time it drives drives me crazy. Now that you're...
  19. H

    Write a happy story in 3 words

    Daughters, my angels
  20. H

    Avoiding the hubby

    Having some domestic issues with my husband. When he gets aggressive I cower because it's a humongous trigger to when he had a mental health break and terrified me. So I avoid when I can. Avoidance usually makes me feel worthless because I become non-functioning. When I get that way it turns...
  21. H

    What emotion do you dislike most in yourself?

    Shame is a big one for me.
  22. H

    What do you avoid at all costs?

    I avoid conflict and touch. I hide when there is conflict. The only people who can hug me are my kids and sometimes that's hard to do. I cannot have anyone hover behind me so I'm always on edge in my surroundings.
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    What to tell your children

    My daughter found out about my struggles by accident a couple of years ago and was very upset and called my therapist to help me. When we met with him, I decided to only give her a general explanation of what was going on and he reassured her that he will help me and she had nothing to worry...
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    Physical symptoms

    I've had similar problems with panic attacks that have returned recently. It feels like an actual heart attack, very physically painful. It's hard to distinguish between the two as they are similar in symptoms. I actually had a work up on my heart and everything is fine. I read a book that...
  25. H

    Anyone else having 9/11 flashbacks from the news today?

    Yes, building fires take me back to that day. I try not to watch those stories but sometimes it's hard to avoid.
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