Search results

  1. M

    The child effect - ptsd sufferer raising children

    I am a parent and step parent. I am in no doubt that my having PTSD, depression, GAD, or whatever diagnoses has had an impact on my kids. The impacts I believe are both positive and certainly negative. I am not abusing my children directly, but indirectly I am in no doubt it’s affected their...
  2. M

    Let's talk suicide

    Thank you both for the article. I thought it both factual and very sensitively written. It insightfully framed aspects of my own suicide attempt and ideations. I’m sure it will be a source of help and comfort to suffers and supporters. Cheers – mit
  3. M

    Solving the problem: reframing negative thoughts

    Thanks for the article. Although I’m rubbish at actually practicing these techniques the principles seem sound to me. The discussion about do thoughts = feelings is of interest to me. In my case I think they are sometimes connected and sometimes not. I can think negative thoughts and not...
  4. M

    Saying it out loud: 5 myths (and some truths) about suicidal ideation

    Thanks for the article. I thought it was informative and honest. I have had suicidal thoughts for years. I have learned from your article that these have been for the most part passive suicide ideation. My experience has been: I once took an over dose and ended up in hospital. I was...
  5. M

    Abandonment by friends

    I lost all my close friends after social workers told them they believed I was a sexual risk to children. That was their interpretation of my secret sexual self harming behaviours, my acting out of scenes of abuse upon myself, recalled from childhood memories and fantasy based on actual events...
  6. M

    Do you take an antidepressant?

    I am back on low dose of sertraline for depression and pregabalin for anxiety. I had a three year break off all meds and was on sertraline for three years before that. It makes life much more tolerable. I had another breakdown a few .months ago and since going back on meds I've felt better...
  7. M

    Poll Do You Re-create Your Trauma?

    Thanks. I don't have a therapist. I've been waiting to see one through the nhs for 6 months. I hope to go private, when I can afford the fees. I'm afraid my self harm has to have a sexual component. Nothing else does it.
  8. M

    Poll Do You Re-create Your Trauma?

    I've been drawn back to this discussion. My acting out has got worse recently. I'm inflicting damage internally and making myself bleed. I seem to be recreating experiences of medical treatments to my genitals combined with sexual abuse. I'm sure I'm going to cause some real damage but I...
  9. M

    Bdsm Relationship Vs Therapeutic Relationship

    I believe I know what you mean. I recreate my childhood traumas and have other the years evolved the memories into extensive fantasies. Although I don't engage in BDSM with others my fantasies are BDSM in nature, except that in my fantasy I regress to being a child. My acting out alone does...
  10. M

    Relationship Sex and intimacy. ?

    My partner and i still cuddle and kiss and touch, and are intimate in other ways. I can't engage in intercourse but there are other ways I try to give my partner a sex life. I don't claim it's as satisfying for her as perhaps it once was, but were a few decades older than you so sex isn't...
  11. M

    Relationship Sex and intimacy. ?

    I was saddened to read this thread. I'm the one in our relationship who has ceased to be able to be sexually active with my partner. I know she has gone through similar turmoil and thoughts as you. Obviously I don't know what may be causing his change in behaviour. In my case i never stopped...
  12. M

    Medical Help: have you had this medical trauma? looking for support.

    I have had a similar procedure (but I am male) to the one you described, when I was a child and more recently. I had years of surgery and procedures on my genitals, from the age of three, to 'fix' a con-genital disorder. I routinely had to submit to very painful and unpleasant treatments...
  13. M

    Adoption: rage, hopelessness, attachment

    You are, I am sad to say, spot on. It is incredibly cruel, in such circumstances, to deny you the right to your history pre-birth, pre adoption, and not to acknowledge it. Bizarrely cruel. I can't comprehend why your adoptive mother would say this. and avoid acknowledging the circumstances of...
  14. M

    Medical Struggling With Identity, Meaning After Remission From Chronic Illness

    I don't know why this is the case or if there is a connection with medical treatment over an extended period....but this is exactly how I feel, that I am still a child or 'child like'. I've not been able to understand why I feel like this. I spent the majority of my childhood in and out of...
  15. M

    Adoption: rage, hopelessness, attachment

    I saw my adoptive parents this weekend, it was my mother's birthday, she was 88. They are kind and descent people, but both struggling with age related health problems. In front of my partner and my two teenage sons my mother recounted the story of wanting to adopt a girl, but on seeing me in...
  16. M

    Adoption: rage, hopelessness, attachment

    I went through social services to get my adoption files. It took a while, three years in fact (but over two of those were due to the useless social worker). The replacement social worker was better. It was fairly easy from the records to find a last known address. She hadn't moved far. I...
  17. M

    Adoption: rage, hopelessness, attachment

    Something I have discovered since reading Verrier's book and talking a bit to a friend is how important it is the child 'fits' with the adoptive family. My adoptive parents were and still are descent well intentioned and caring folk. But I also experienced them as frightening and over...
  18. M

    Adoption: rage, hopelessness, attachment

    I'm adopted. I spent six weeks with my birth mother before I went into care and she returned to live with her parents who wouldn't have me, an illegitimate child in the house. I found The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier validating. There is so much in the book that I could truly relate to...
  19. M

    Sexual Assault Has anyone been sexually assaulted in a medical setting?

    I suppose I can answer yes to this. I had many operations when I was a child and teenager in the 1960s and 70s. Often I was treated with great care and compassion. At other times I was subjected to treatments and procedures that were so poorly thought through and badly implemented that I...
  20. M

    Medical Medical Trauma In Childhood

    I've read your post several times in an attempt to understand your question and perspective. Personally I do not think my own traumas, resulting from medical treatments, equate to the trauma suffered by survivors of sexual and violent abuse. I know it is wrong to make comparisons but I can't...
  21. M

    I Want To Die....please Kill Me Anyone!!!!

    Absolutely agree with this and as a way of trying to get through the worst periods. At very low times I have also thought about the passage of time, and how, for instance in a weeks time things may be very different. It has given me something to cling on to, so from experience thinking about...
  22. M

    Music For The Moment

    Thank you, I don't know it so will se if I can get it on you tube for my drive home. Thanks @Tornadic Thoughts I'll definitely check out your suggestions. What can I say @C j thanks (could be tears to this one..). Thanks all for the suggestions.
  23. M

    Music For The Moment

    Listening to music has always been a source of pleasure and comfort for me. I often associate certain songs or pieces of music to significant or memorable moments in my life. For example, in 1988. sharing my walkman with a Chinese boy whilst walking through remote limestone mountains in...
  24. M

    Medical New Here Real Bad Medical/needle Phobia Caused By A Truama.

    I guess I also have an issue with needles, but perhaps not a phobia. I can have an injection, I have to look away and it does get my heart pounding, and sometimes makes me feel faint, but I can do it. I can't watch an injection, in real life or on the television, the sight of it is too much...
  25. M

    Songs You Relate To

    Omadawn by Mike Oldfield. I always preferred it to tubular bells. I remember listening to this in the 1980s with friends driving in the car after a caving trip in South Wales. The timing was perfect. At the end of the piece nobody spoke, all of us experienced and shared something quite...
Back
Top