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    Daughter idolizes my abuser

    My son is too young for this to be tested yet, but my husband and I use a poisoning the well approach about our sons bio dad. Whenever we see homeless people, drug addicts, woman beaters, shiftless lazy people and so on, we point out how bad and dangerous that kind of person is and how it’s...
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    Parenting

    My kindergartener son is very, very large and strong and my husband is more toward the short side and pretty overweight. Our son doesn’t understand that fat and muscle are not the same. He tries to basically beat my husband to death every night “wrestling” as soon as he gets home from work. Our...
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    Breaking ties with an abusive parent. An accountability thread.

    This guy beat you, beat the dog, has recently borrowed money from you (as one grown person from another), and isn’t man enough to own up to simple past actions? Talking to him is useless, even to get back your remaining money. I don’t care if you’re talking about a few thousand here. Let it go...
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    Need someone else’s insight

    Agree. So sorry this happened. So sorry to have to say plainly that this was rape. Once, years ago, I was sitting around a table having good time drinks with my best girl friends and gay guy friends. Somehow the conversation turned and we realized that every single one of us had been raped...
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    News What do you think: “'What Were You Wearing?'” Student-Survivor Art Installation"

    I don’t remember what I was wearing during any traumatic incidents, but I clearly remember being 10 years old, very poor, and having squeezed into my last pair of jeans. I didn’t have any other pairs of pants. I think my other clothes were yard sale shorts. We went to the store to buy some food...
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    Thinking you don't have ptsd?

    @EveHarrington I happen to know a little about sensory processing because of something I study professionally (or did). My kid has sensory processing disorder too, coincidentally. I have seen cases in my profession (when I was doing it) where a person became traumatized because someone else...
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    Death Hospice Film with real death

    https://www.theguardian.com/film/2018/sep/13/island-documentary-steven- Don’t worry, the above is an article. I don’t think there are any triggering surprises in it. Oh man this bothered me this morning. I had to watch my grandmother die in her care home. It was horrible and scarring. I had...
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    Coparenting with spouse

    Thank you, @Innordinate, but we have a happy home. I guess my post wasn’t too clear. My father in law grew up with 12 siblings in what used to be a slave shanty (seriously). He has a loud voice and deals with things with humor, but is sometimes off color. I think that came from growing up so...
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    Am I overreacting to my mother saying PTSD is my fault?

    I don’t know the whole story here, like it seems like you live with this highly irrational person. I don’t think it’s a good idea to be around a person who is acting like they’re going to use a weapon against you. If it was me I’d do whatever it took to live elsewhere. You may not feel like...
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    Coparenting with spouse

    I have an anger problem, but I learned long ago to keep it to myself. As a consequence of this, I will stay quiet if I’m starting to get mad, or if I don’t know what to do or say. Sometimes that’s a problem because I don’t know when or how to speak up anymore. My son is four and also has...
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    Reconciling with estranged family after apology

    Agree strongly with the short limited contact. And don’t expect behavior from anyone that they are not capable of. If someone does or says something unacceptable, stick to your boundaries. You can’t control their behavior, but you can control your own.
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    What should i do?

    Several years ago I dated a guy who was doing that to me. His usual excuse was working on his Dissertation. I use a capital D there because that was always his first priority. All the time we spent together went perfectly. We agreed about everything and always had pleasant days together...
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    Ptsd And Hygiene

    I have known a LOT of people who struggle with hygiene as a result of abuse. Dry shampoo is a wonderful item. I would just say that if a persons teeth have gotten to the point where they hurt, it may be worth looking into dentures. Dental pain starts slow, but will drastically impact your life...
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    So, i want to share that i no longer have ptsd

    I still get triggered sometimes, but I have come to a place where I feel that I am in control, not the past. The biggest things for me seemed to be accepting that I have changed after each trauma, and being okay with the person I’ve changed into. I have a degenerate disease, and my emotional...
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    News Us politics - read first post before comment

    I read a lot of these “alt right” sites. On one of them a news article was linked and it described what I assume is a classified program, where contractors for our country have powers greater than what was dropped by Edward Snowden. Scary, Big Brother type powers. I was warned about these...
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    New member seeking advice on ssdi and college advice

    I had a period in my life where I had symptoms like what you're describing. At the time, I felt like I was falling apart, and no one was helping me. That was...um, I guess six years ago now. I can now see that something was changing in me then and that I became a much better person after that. I...
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    Rant about how being on ssd sucks

    Not at all for the reasons I would have thought. When I was working I set things up for myself so that I get SSD plus supplemental long-term disability, so my "take home pay" is actually a little more than it was back when I was a manager at an IT company, which was my highest paying job. I have...
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    News Gender identification - when to start the conversation

    I am a sociologist, and I left graduate school and finished my degree at home because my professor suggested in class that my then fetus might someday be genderqueer or transgender. I was like shut up. I couldn't say that out loud, so I just left. My son is a "CISgen" white male, now a toddler...
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    News Us military report on sexual abuse of boys in afghanistan

    I read a similar article (sorry, I don't have the source) the other day about how our service people actually get in trouble if they report on the Afghani troops when they catch them abusing children, even though the boy abusing is no longer legal there. I'm not sure if girl abusing is legal...
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    News Cult leader indicted

    It's wonderful that this monster has been brought to justice. Thanks for telling us, @Crow
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    Disrupting the conversational narrative with experience

    I wish I had the poise to respond in either of these ways! Instead I just smile politely and simmer.
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    Disrupting the conversational narrative with experience

    Has someone in regular conversation ever asked you for your experience with something and then gotten upset or mad because you didn't say what they were expecting? Perhaps even suggested you had an unusual experience and should reassess your position? This has happened to me a few times, most...
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    What Have You Accomplished Lately?

    This morning my three year old tripped and fell on my coffee cup. Luckily 1) it was cold when it splashed him 2) he missed the table edge, barely, and 3) when the cup broke, it broke away from him, so he didn't get hurt at all. It woke me up. So I took him to the museum and then to the mall for...
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    Last movie or tv series you watched?

    Rewatching Star Trek Deep Space Nine in its entirety for the first time since it originally aired. Each episode seems to suck at the beginning but if you give it a chance, most of them are great! Last movie we watched was Get Out. Surprisingly good!
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    Is relationship with sister worth it?

    My sister is now saying that the 11 year old has told her dad that she is suicidal, supposedly because of my sister's yelling. The dad says he wants full custody of the two younger kids (the oldest is not his and is now 18 and living on her own anyway). My sister thinks this is all a ploy on the...
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