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    Sexual Assault Sexual Abuse - Myths And Facts

    My thought behind "people hurt you because of who you are" which I struggle with sometimes is that it is because of me that people hurt me. As if there is something, personally about me, which somehow makes others hurt me. Some days I genuinely can't fathom how that is not the case, that it...
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    Things My Boyfriends Friends & Family Say To Him About Me...

    Hello Jazzy. I am also somebody who feels very much like you do. I am in a sexless relationship. It started off somewhere and has gradually ended up nowhere on the sexual intimacy front. For me, I feel incredibly insecure in my relationship for it. I'm terrified of sex, and I'm terrified of...
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    Sexual Assault Sexual Abuse - Myths And Facts

    People hurt you because of who you are. I still can't shake that one.
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    Sexual Assault Sexual Abuse, The Bbc And Other Media

    I've found the news really difficult lately too. Sadly, I'm a cynic and agree with Brucielucy. The victims will get some form of apology, for those perpetrators who are alive there will be some form of justice. But no real changes will be made. Because, by and large, Britain does not care. The...
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    Trying (and Failing) To Have A Healthy Sex Life

    For me, one of the problems is pressure. If I manage it the once, I feel I've 'signed up' to it and can never 'get out'. Totally illogical in some ways, but it's a real problem I can't seem to get past. The other issue is the anticipation of it 'turning nasty'. A lot of these kinds of issues...
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    Something You Wish Someone Would Say To You

    "I've left him. I should have left him the day you were born. I should have left for you, for your brothers and for me. I'm sorry for everything I put you through, and for everything I let him put you through. I'm sorry I lived in denial. I'm going to be your mother now. When you are ready, I...
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    What To Do About X-mas

    My experiences of Christmas have been that it is really hard to make the first 'break' (in the chain of difficult Christmasses) and decide to spend it differently instead. I have been torn between wanting 'to make it work', hoping 'it won't be so bad this year', and being in a kind of knowing...
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    Something You Wish Someone Would Say To You

    "You, and how you feel, matters to me."
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    Fake Flashbacks?

    Hi BrucieLucy Thanks. Well, no I guess I wouldn't have dealt with it any differently as there wasn't really anything I could do about it. I just don't like suddenly smelling nasty and distinctly sexual smells. In one sense I don't know why it frightens me because at face value it is just an...
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    Fake Flashbacks?

    Does anyone know if is possible to have an olfactory flashback which is not a flashback of any previously experienced event? Could the mind spontaneously imagine it up? On second thoughts, I've come back to this to add in that the imagined version would probably be termed as a hallucination... ...
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    But People Had Worse Childhoods Than You And They Talk To Their Parents!

    I think everybody has the right to choose who they want to have in their life, and who they don't. It shouldn't even need justifying and most certainly not when everybody is in agreement that the person is a horrible person! I've cut my father out of my life for a whole catalogue of reasons. My...
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    Just A Question

    There's nothing wrong with you. Perhaps you go over the past hurts in order to try to answer the very question that you pose to yourself for doing it in the first place... "What's wrong with me?". Which is really an internalised form of the question being why have you been repeatedly hurt by...
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    Question About Memory

    Not just who was in my life, but also who my abuser was! I was left with only fragments. Looking up from doing something and much more time having elapsed than I thought is something I still get. Not remembering things from times in my life is also something I have, and like Howard Beal, I have...
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    Trying (and Failing) To Have A Healthy Sex Life

    Hi everyone I think I found posting this hard as I have avoided coming back to see what people wrote since! Just got around to it now. Cherryblossom, thank you. I will take your advice of course! I was single for my entire adult life until recently, so I understand that very well. I have been...
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    Therapy Or Tea And Sympathy?

    Perhaps I can use this thread to benefit me in the future... Because your quote made me realise that I will know when I am getting better when I don't need the distraction in order to have the conversation!
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    Therapy Or Tea And Sympathy?

    Hi Brucielucy I can understand what you are saying. There are times when my therapist uses techniques that require the total attention in the way you mean at which point all cups go down on the table. But I find that level of attention extremely anxiety provoking and I can't do it for long at...
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    Therapy Or Tea And Sympathy?

    I don't know the post that is being referred to so I can't comment on that. But I totally agree that whether it is paid therapy or not, it should be therapy at a high standard. That should be automatic. I also agree with the fact that when therapy isn't going well it comes down to the...
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    Trying (and Failing) To Have A Healthy Sex Life

    Therapist wants to talk about my sexual difficulties next time, in order to help me try to move forwards on the sexual difficulties I have. The idea of talking about it is totally freaking me out. Because sex is only associated with child abuse, I really struggle with it. If I don't have direct...
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    Nervous Newbie

    Deaf Global Nomad... Sexuality is a really difficult issue. I really struggle with sex and sexuality. I was celibate and single for YEARS because I wrote myself off. I TOTALLY relate to "the concept of attraction meaning little to nothing" to you, because I am the same. I have never been...
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    Constant Victims?

    I totally agree!! I felt so self-conscious/ashamed of the number of times I've been abused and the number of abusers that I have 'to my name', as if it's my black mark. My therapist explained to me that to be abused from such an early age, from such a dysfunctional family, it would actually be...
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    For All My Female Forum Friends

    I love Bruno Mars and I love that record! I recently sent my best mate a heartfelt message and he sent me these lyrics back :) It was the most touching thing ever and this is now one of my most loved songs :)
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    Nervous Newbie

    Thank you for the warm welcome :) I feel the positive and less lonely already! annadeb, you are spot on. I felt like I was taking a huge step in writing the post in the first place. I'm expecting that each post will involve facing fears until it eventually subsides, but i also know from...
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    Nervous Newbie

    Hi Everyone, I've been coming here on and off to read around. Today I realised that I do this at times when I felt I want some support from somewhere others understand, but didn't quite feel brave or deserving enough somehow to sign up. When I signed up I wanted to pick a name that felt safe as...
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    Poll How Often Do You Have Headaches?

    I go through phases with them to be honest. I can have them daily, a few times a week, or none. Ever since I was a child. They called it stress related. Yup. Post traumatic stress related.
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    Anyone Available For Online Chat?

    Online if anyone's up for it.
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