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  1. Muttly

    Low mood vs tiredness?

    Since this has come up for me more than once, I figured I'd make a post of it. I have troubles sorting out low mood from tiredness. I'm also not sure if it matters? Wondering if others have similar experiences, thoughts or opinions.
  2. Muttly

    Therapist didn't show and I may be done

    Some background first. I had a therapist that was really great for a lot of years. Then she had all sorts of personal crisis, covid happened and I had changed a lot. She got unreliable in some ways and we had communication issues and it was time to move on. I found a therapist who was ok-ish...
  3. Muttly

    Blocked from transgender health care

    I could use both practical advice and support I guess. (sorry for asking). The brief summary - I'm a transgender man. I moved to Missouri about 5 weeks ago from a much more liberal state. I knew it was a risk, but the town I moved to is a pretty liberal town. And I have moved in with my...
  4. Muttly

    Moving stress (and managing insiders)

    In 6 weeks I will be driving across country, with my animals, a U-haul trailer and my boyfriend. I will be moving into his house. (Need to start getting used to saying our house). It will be the first time I've ever lived with a romantic partner.I've also started back to school and will be...
  5. Muttly

    Managing symptoms and stress in a relationship (supporters welcome)

    I'm not sure how to phrase my question. And I'm not even exactly sure what I'm asking? I know I am symptomatic right now. I know that's affecting how I interpret things in my relationship with my partner, Tat. Tat is also really stressed right now. Honestly we both have way too much life stuff...
  6. Muttly

    Wildland Fire Fighters thanks- What should I say?

    So, there's a fire about 13 miles (21 km) from my house. Thanks to geography, the firefighters and the winds dying down my house shouldn't be in danger. Anyway, a bunch of us locals are creating a bulletin board for the firefighters and other responders. I'm not crafty and am super broke right...
  7. Muttly

    Physical feeling shouldn't impact my mood

    How I feel physically should not impact my mood. I am pretty sure this is a cognitive distortion. Except already I'm getting all tangled up. On the one hand, if you are in a lot of pain, sick or exhausted sure that has an impact on you. Except some how I feel like what you are supposed to do, is...
  8. Muttly

    I should take a medical leave for my back?

    I guess maybe this is an accountability thread? The short summary for those that don't know. I've had chronic back issues for years. Had one surgery. Last October I hurt my back again. Tried everything and conclusion was I need a spinal fusion. That got delayed because of covid. It is about 3...
  9. Muttly

    Surgery postponed - feeling low

    So, as some of you know, I was scheduled to get spinal surgery July 5th. The long story short is that I now have covid and because of that they are postponing mu surgery until September 6th. It's been such a long haul. I've been pushing myself hard to keep working and get things done prior to...
  10. Muttly

    Forgiveness

    I know it's come up before, but it's been a while since a thread has been made on this subject. My T and I were talking about forgiveness, specifically regarding my dad. He didn't just abuse me, he abused my brother and mother. He abused animals. I don't know if I can forgive that. I told my...
  11. Muttly

    Tell my boyfriend about this site ?

    My boyfriend started therapy recently and it seems likely he has PTSD. I suspect he is going to need support as he starts his journey. This site has been so helpful to me and I thought about telling him about it. It might be awkward though, if we are both users. I have talked about him in my...
  12. Muttly

    Back Surgery and needing help

    I guess it's time for me to probably start a thread. I have had back problems for decades. Had one back surgery already. In October my back went out. And things were bad. Got an MRI which showed a herniated disc, two compressed nerves and some scar tissue. Been doing non-invasive stuff like PT...
  13. Muttly

    Probably just self-pity

    wrote a big long thread and hated every word of it. kind of the point. Nothing we feel or say seems right. Want to say I'm tired and want to give up but then want to say that's just whining. But then if we say that we are being manipulative. If we say that we are being even more manipulative...
  14. Muttly

    Vet staff and veterinarians, how do you cope?

    Feeling self-conscious for posting a new thread, but anyway.... Any other vets, technicians, VAs out there? How do you manage the stress of the job plus PTSD? Do you have anything you need to vent about? For those who don't know, there's a very high suicide/suicidal ideation rate in this field.
  15. Muttly

    Medical ultra sound with wand

    I've been having some health issues for a while- fatigue, increase in IBS symptoms, etc. I went to my doctor and had lab work done and my hormones are all out of whack. My doctor wants me to get an ultrasound with wand. I told her that would be super triggering and she offered to prescribe me a...
  16. Muttly

    Not sure- therapy relationship concerns (again)

    I have another thread about my relationship with my therapist. Some basic facts. I've been seeing her for years. After years of paying, I had some huge financial constraints and she gave me free sessions for a time. Now she gives them to me at a hugely reduced rate. I wish that didn't matter...
  17. Muttly

    Therapy problems- T misunderstanding or I'm lying to myself (long)

    As I am having troubles really letting this go, I am going to make a post. I will try not to make it be too long. So background, I have been seeing my T for over 6 or 7 years now. And up until this year it has been good. Starting November of last year my life got hard. I was having significant...
  18. Muttly

    I make people worry about me

    When I was a kid and I got sick or had something significant wrong, my mom could be really nice. What was always a nice change since she didn't like me very much. Except that after a while, if I was really sick or didn't get better fast enough, she'd get sick or exhausted or super stressed out...
  19. Muttly

    T has cancer

    I just can't. It's all too much. I give the f*%# up. And this is a stupid, selfish post because I'm never around here anymore. And it's all me me me. And this is stupid post because if I am giving up, why am I even bothering to post
  20. Muttly

    Replaying

    So for folks who get into relationships that replay abuse scenarios or in otherwise put themselves in situations that is replaying and perpetuating the cycle of trauma, why do you do it? And how do you break the pattern?
  21. Muttly

    If I wasn't so numb, I might be a mess

    I don't know if this is the right place to post. Right now, I don't feel dysregulated. I am numb or dissociated or something. I don't know. I may be working on getting drunk too, because that's a good idea </sarcasm>. I guess the evidence would say I'm dysregulated. I've cut today. It's been a...
  22. Muttly

    Reached out to T in crisis. Feeling guilty and ashamed

    I guess in some ways the title says it all. We will send our T emails, but we don't in general reach out in full crisis mode. We don't expect a speedy response to emails. Don't necessary expect a response at all. We've lost almost 24 hours in time. We have a vague sense of what we were up to...
  23. Muttly

    Am I wrong?

    Ok, this is probably the worlds most selfish post. So, as some of you know my financial situation isn't good. And then my car broke down and everything got worse. I was stressed. I wasn't going on and on about it to friends but it certainly leaked through at times. So there's this older couple...
  24. Muttly

    Too much stress and money woes and shame

    Short version I am broke and have been for some time. I am actively working to change my situation but as many of you know, it's hard to get out of poverty. I had a plan that looked hopeful. But then my car broke down. It's been broken down for over a month now. The bill to fix it is...
  25. Muttly

    Breaking contact.

    I'm sorry for doing this in a hypothetical way but I'm trying to get some perspective. Ok, so say like there's two brothers. Older and younger. Often times the brothers were really close. As they moved into adulthood there were times one or the other had stuff going on and they weren't close...
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