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  1. T

    The 'Love Yourself First' Debate

    Well for us its the love your neighbour as yourself. In meditation practice there is the thing there about tending to yourself as you would a friend. These concepts always baffle me as I have little understanding of comparison. Like how to evaluate how I treat others. I am critical and sometimes...
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    DID Suspected DID and I'm very resistant

    Could be the quickness too. T may need to slow down a bit. Try looking into all parts welcome, internal family systems. May not be you, but the model helps to understand, we all have parts. Did the parts split? Maybe. If you can approach with wondering, curiosity instead of fear you may be able...
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    Email fallout with T - need advice please

    Wow, a week is a long time. Never heard of it being that long. Wonder what’s going on. Tone wasn’t overly friendly, seems defensive. Yes this one is going to need a face to face to properly discuss. Sounds like friday for a monday appointment would have been risky for 48 hours since he can’t...
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    Boundaries in unconditional love

    Loving unconditionally is based on not having to earn it, prove yourself first, be anything but who you are. That being said when we are who we are, we tend to do things that need a line drawn or two or more for some that we need to understand not to cross with people. Drawing line is the...
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    Medical Illness and Trauma

    Some people have found their answer in the book, The Body Keeps the Score. I know for me the illness is both. The intertwining isn’t always any more evident than the negative test results. The bodies behavior though is the truth. Something isn’t right and isn’t making itself known whether it is...
  6. T

    is it weird for therapists to recommend their own podcasts?

    Mine has only done one recording of a relaxation exercise available only on his passworded area of the website. The other recording there are other mediations or learning tools. As to listening to podcasts by your therapist, just answer next time. You could say, maybe down the road I will but...
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    Anyone else experience extreme periods of rage followed by an extreme comedown resulting in exhaustion.

    Have you ever had an eeg done or requested to be hooked up for a period of time? It was what popped into my head as a thought to consider. The only time I’ve had anything remotely close to what you have described, and it’s happened twice is from taking the medication amytritriptelene...
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    Is it normal to wait for death to finally get some peace? - All day, every day, I’m living every emotion.

    You are starting to open up. If this becomes your safe place then keep going so that the build up of living in your head begins to release.
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    Triggered in session due to therapist behavior

    Depends on how long she was taking it for. I’m on a heavy duty one and much of my life has changed while I struggle to get to remission. Memory is huge, as in I can’t recall things I should automatically know and much worse than that. I have a lot of side effects. But I have no choice but to...
  10. T

    Struggling with Conditioned Responses: Seeking Support

    For similar reasons I have similar responses. I had to learn to sit and do nothing. Initially did not last a minute as I was either scanning environment for something to do or jumping up to do. It took a lot of practice to get to five minutes. I had to create my own strategies really as most...
  11. T

    What makes a religion abusive/cult?

    Belief is choice. I was raised cult-no choice, punitive, control, hierarchy, fear, dominance, abuse of scripture to suit leaders , harms followers. my kids were raised within a church setting, open discussion. Choose what they now believe, attend where they want or not at all. I had to...
  12. T

    Massive backfire in therapy - don't know what to do

    Interesting conversation . My t has said that he does not spend a lot of time reading what’s out there in order to help me. He uses his training and it works. I do plenty outside of therapy of using the stuff that is out there that helps me come back to therapy session ready to work. The fact...
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    PTSD from death - Anyone here been through something similar and succeeded in their career?

    My spate happened 23 years ago. I was working with a disabled child who was 9 at the time of his death. He did not realize in the moment that if his paper went under his school bus he should not try to retrieve it. Less than three months later another youth also with a learning disability, also...
  14. T

    Abuse, ptsd and hair cut

    My hair and my clothing style eventually became mine. The further you go in therapy the more you realize what was taken from you or tainted is now yours to take back, where possible. Control of presentation of oneself was huge as a part of my abuse. I’m good with my hair now. Clothing causes me...
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    What to Expect Between Trauma Therapy Appointments & What’s Normal?

    Key phrase in what you wrote is, I am working it through. This is pretty much the response to opening up in office to someone then we close down after. Maybe we are processing. I have learned to go to an appointment then log as much of it in my notepad app afterwards. This does two things for...
  16. T

    Recent loss complicated by trauma - Strategies to pause the rumination, ways to reduce the stress just so I can function

    What you are going through is very difficult to navigate. When I’m like this I call it the octopus. There are so many legs to it. So many things tipping the balance of where to start. For me I draw. Especially the types of drawing that relax me and allow whatever is there to truly come to the...
  17. T

    Evil

    Useful as a benchmark of right and wrong on moral, ethical, and religious standards. It’s important to me as an ingrained way of behaving through training in not doing things that do not promote justice or innate as in things considered outside one’s moral compass that I have no inclination...
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    Newly diagnosed. How do I make sense of all of this?

    You are moving in the right direction by seeking help and doing the work. However it is important to remind yourself that you are at the beginning of a process for which your response built in childhood circumstances for which you had no control are coming to your rescue in a setting where you...
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    Therapy break - Have you taken one with the intention of returning?

    Ask the therapist to book something 2-3 months out. That would give you a target date And put the therapist in the know of what your goal is And secure you a date. I had 2-3 months off because he travelled to be with his mom at her passing. It was a rough time but I managed through it using what...
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    Observing myself lately

    I have a garden out front, a sidewalk and a curb. Anything put to curb is free and people know this. My garden has toys on display in cute scenes because the day care or young families walk by, some stop and play occasionally. I put some stuff to the curb the other day. A woman stopped, got out...
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    Blurrerd boundaries with male therapist or projection?

    Confused and scared. Yes. That makes it difficult to make sense of normal, regular interactions. Sit with what you want and say that. Even if it is, you stay in your chair I’ll stay in mine, no contact, no winking, no hugs no high fives. He likely will respect it. Get to know him. And let him...
  22. T

    Therapist hasn't responded in almost two weeks

    Trust the secretary. Keep journaling and wait. It seems normal for how you detailed the picture. Sometimes our self talk creates anxiety over something that doesn’t exist. That being said, I am allowed to email outside a session. He views some as me just saying what is going on, which he does...
  23. T

    When the therapist thinks the past is always to blame

    You’re missing out on good therapy. A no is no. When people do not respect our no it is triggering. As to breathing you can follow the breath without doing anything much as breathing is automatic. Hand on belly feeling the breathe can be calming. If not try other things. Personally I get...
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    Getting lost in my mind - Coping with self destructive intrusive thoughts

    As we grow in therapy we learn to speak kindly and gently to the other girl. For me the most significant change in desiring to hurt myself was when my psychologist said, “we only get one body, treat it well” it woke me up a bit. Secondly it was helpful to realize the statement, I’ve already been...
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    I found my therapist's home address

    I think we all have this curiosity about our therapist, it is similiar to seeing your school teacher in a setting outside school and realizing they have a life outside of school. It humanize them. I don’t see the need to tell them unless you want to explore the why. Stop at the line you feel you...
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