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    So this is a thing - ruining my own recovery

    So this is a thing. You work consistently hard towards recovery. It's what you want. You want to confidently prove that no matter what you went through from your dysfunctional family, you will rise above and be successful. Then when you get there because you believed you could, you ruin it.
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    Other humanity - (cult recovery)

    Thank you so much for your reply. I want ME back sooo much!
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    Childhood Jehovah's Witnesses/parental abuse

    My parents abused me as a child. Jehovah's Witnesses in my congregation tried babysitting me a lot to keep me away from my parents. They were told not to report the abuse because of the religion. But, What I didn't realise growing up in this religion, is that it's teachings are abusive
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    Other humanity - (cult recovery)

    Yes i am seeing therapist
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    Other humanity - (cult recovery)

    I just don't understand why i broke my standards when i left and became very self destructive. I'm so confused. I used to have high self esteem and felt connected and loved life even despite some crazy hardships. Arrgghh! I used to have way more control over my brain than I do now and it's both...
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    Other humanity - (cult recovery)

    I feel like I lost my sense of humanity when I left this religion/cult I don't know where to go from here.
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    Other humanity - (cult recovery)

    I grew up a Jehovah's Witness. Everyone else has grown up in a different belief system. Mine was therapeutic for me growing up because it seemed better than my insane family I grew up with. I followed this religion/cult to a tea because I truly thought it had something amazing to offer. It...
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    Childhood Jehovah's Witnesses/parental abuse

    I grew up as a JW. I had some awesome ppl help me out and try their best to protect me from my parents(abusers) (I will mention, I now feel bad for my parents knowing one of them experienced abuse growing up. I really thought they had protected me from the consequences of abuse through trying to...
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    I'm still going

    I'm still here. Um yay!!!... I'm gonna make this brief. I've been through WAY too much since leaving the security of the cult that I left. Plus, I went from chaste, virgin girl to crazy excult member and now I have no self respect. Anyone relate?!
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    Just wanted to be 'normal', (whatever that means)

    I decided to rise above my abuse from a young age and was proud of it by becoming a very dedicated cult member. (a Jehovah's Witness). I was very dedicated and thought of I followed all of 'God's'/cult rules, I would be saved, etc. Obviously, it doesn't work that way. But for some reason, for...
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    OCD My former religion (high control group) helped me with OCD?

    I am doing EMDR for trauma. And my shame is coming from this: I knew how to face my intrusive thoughts before but since this time, I thought a thought on purpose, like I was texting god and his holy spirit, I couldn't let out go because this was different, so I beat myself up thinking something...
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    OCD My former religion (high control group) helped me with OCD?

    I've had OCD since my late teens. It coincided with my diagnosis of PTSD although I was not diagnosed with OCD. I always kept that part hidden. Sexual fears and obtrusive thoughts are not something easy to talk about to anyone. Anyways, once I got baptised as a JW ( Jehovah's Witness), I don't...
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    Other Spirituality? (post-cult) - where does our strength come from?

    Shunning for sure is soul crushing and sad. It's not right. Some things I wanted to do but couldn't... Be a beach bum and go surfing on a long trip on the other side of the country. Go to college for marine biology. Amongst other things. The internal struggle is intense. I went through...
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    Other Spirituality? (post-cult) - where does our strength come from?

    Thanx for this. I get what you are saying OMG. Thank you for this. I've feel so lost without a purpose since I've left that cult, as well as feel so lonely because that cult practices shunning so noone talks to me anymore. I am in soooo much pain because of this and struggling to function every...
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    Other Spirituality? (post-cult) - where does our strength come from?

    "The mundane messing worlds more making sense to me at times surprises me." What do you mean by this? And the rest of your post, are you referring to the fact that a lot of that strength comes from our own efforts and not some extraordinary spirit? Cuz sometimes, there are people who supposedly...
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    Other Spirituality? (post-cult) - where does our strength come from?

    Spiritual abuse is terrible and yes, it does affect the core of who we are and our purpose in life. It affects what you believe about life around you and your belief system. What you went through was awful. Sorry you had to suffer through all that. I'm struggling with my own spirituality and a...
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    Other Spirituality? (post-cult) - where does our strength come from?

    I hope this post doesn't sound too bold or whatever because it's referencing spirituality. But I want to address where the source of our strength comes from. The struggle between believers and non-believers. The struggle between whether that strength came from us alone or with the help of "God'...
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    Confused about a person

    This woman turned so many people against me. And what baffles me is why I let HER get to me after I had already risen above abuse from both my parents and other crazy stuff from other dysfunctional people in my life. I had myself in a f#!king cacoon to protect myself from all the crazies in that...
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    Confused about a person

    Exactly that. But I wanted revenge so bad for what she did to me. I used to love people and be devoted to volunteering and helping people out of a loving heart and she saw and ruined it. It has hurt me sooo much. Plus leaving that cult on top of it, has messed wit my head and now I feel more...
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    Confused about a person

    So I wanna know why? Why would cause someone like her to do that to me?
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    Confused about a person

    It was so confusing for me to be going through all this. Now I'm putting pieces together so I can rebuild my self esteem and the aftermath of self sabotage and questioning myself. One hell of a minefield to go through at the same time of having a spiritual crisis and starting to doubt and leave...
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    Confused about a person

    Thank you. This person made me feel so crazy when I was going though a spiritual crisis and that's when I started sabotaging all the hard I work i did to heal. Gaslighting. That's what I thought but wasn't sure. This is about the time all my friends stopped talking to me, the ones that were...
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    Confused about a person

    I had someone come into my life and be a friend for me when I was a teenager. She was a little over a decade older than me. I came from a really crappy, weird home life and she seemed to have all her shit together, always busy, perfect house etc so I wondered why she would want to be nice to me...
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    Is this a thing?

    Thank you for sharing. I think I was able to heal from a lot of the abuse from my parents because I recognised how they treated me was wrong. But not the cult. I fell for the teachings of the cult, not realising how harmful they actually were and I think that lead to me self-sabotaging. It's...
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    Is this a thing?

    Well then, I am sending hugs and love back. I hope you have a better day today. When I was a kid, the abuse did affect me of course but I dealt with it by focusing on when I would move out and life would be Ok and away from my abusive parents. I focused really hard from elementary school to do...
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