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  1. Z

    Does your t start late?

    My therapist consistently starts approximately 10 minutes late occasionally a little bit earlier and rarely up to 15 minutes late. I don't let this bother me at all because he always gives me my full 50 minutes if not an hour or slightly more. I look at it like this if I'm upset at the end of a...
  2. Z

    Feel too pressured to lead session w/ psychoanalytic t... am i doing it wrong? how does this work?

    I agree with Eve 100%. I have never understood psychoanalysis and I don't think it is made to help people with problems like PTSD. I would look for a trauma specialist who will give you more guidance and teach you grounding and coping skills.
  3. Z

    Negative transference?

    About 10 days ago my therapist upset me when we were doing a treatment plan and suicide contract. He knew how I wanted it worded and I felt like he purposely manipulated the words to push me in a corner. I felt trapped and betrayed. I told him at the next session that I felt that way and that I...
  4. Z

    On firing t

    I am so sorry your T said that to you and am happy that you found the courage to end it and move on to someone who will treat you better. I struggle with trying to not blame myself for all of my abuse but my T is so caring and patient. He always tells me that my abusers were responsible for...
  5. Z

    Emdr

    I agree with Ruby Rose...in my experience once you start you open up Pandora's box and you really have to keep going (it will get much worse before it gets better) or live your life with all the constant memories. You have to make the ultimate decision on what you want for the rest of your life...
  6. Z

    Emdr - for how long?

    Satuma... when I said processing stops when I dissociate I meant during the actual EMDR session not days later so you should be good. When I'm in the middle of processing in the office and we are actively doing EMDR, I dissociate quite often. At this point when he realizes I'm down the rabbit...
  7. Z

    Emdr - for how long?

    I have been doing EMDR for roughly 7 months. I have C-PTSD, DID, and depression. My T says it will take me close to 5 years to work though all the issues I have with EMDR. Personally, I don't see much of a difference yet but he says he does because I am regaining more memories of abuse and my...
  8. Z

    I dont know how to proceed... choosing between therapists

    Personally, I do not understand psychodynamic therapy so I can't really comment on that other than I do not think it would help me with trauma, I need more direction. As for T1, I agree that he is probably waiting for you to respond. I know most T want you to direct the session. So if he brought...
  9. Z

    Terrified of medication

    I totally understand your fears.I have DID and my therapist asked me to see a psychiatrist for meds for my suicidal tendencies. They ended up doubling my Lexapro and adding Rexulti which is an antipsychotic. I do not want to take an antipsychotic pill but she said it would calm the voices...
  10. Z

    Where did emdr link you?

    I'm no expert I've been doing EMDR for about 6 months now but it is my understanding that you want EMDR to link you to all different kinds of things that's the purpose to link the bad memories to things that you can relate to and tolerate I guess that's called processing. It is also been my...
  11. Z

    I just broke my therapist's chair :(

    Oh you poor thing. I know that must be embarrassing but you know T are not supposed to judge. If the chair actually broke it could not have been that strong to begin with. Time for T to buy a new chair. I can't really say what I would do. Good luck to you. I'm sure your T is not mad at you though.
  12. Z

    Does your t talk to your dissociated parts?

    I totally agree @Links. My T is actually the one who has taught me how to communicate with and respect and thank all of my parts.
  13. Z

    Does your t talk to your dissociated parts?

    I have DID and yes he does speak to my parts. He has also asked to speak to different parts if they are willing. Before starting EMDR he also always asks who wants to come along for the ride. I was in denial for awhile and still sometimes question my parts but his acceptance certainly helps.
  14. Z

    Ideal suds (distress) level for retraining your brain

    They use Suds in EMDR. My suds have not gone down over the past five or so sessions but the feelings are changing so things are happening I know at least with EMDR the trick is that you have to have one foot in the present and one foot in the past so in order for you to feel safe you need to...
  15. Z

    Trying to reduce the maladaptive coping tool of self contempt

    Yep, sounds like my last 3 sessions. I know it's twisted but somehow me taking the blame for all of the abuse gives me more control of the situation. It makes me feel better about it and it is what allowed me to survive and accept the abuse. It is not the right way but it's what seemed to work...
  16. Z

    Have you ever faked it enough to convince your t?

    I have been suicidal my whole life. Sometimes are worse than others and for the past month things have been really bad. My therapist usually doesn't ask and I will never volunteer any info on these feelings but recently I have been dealing with some huge crap and he knows that I am REALLY low...
  17. Z

    Safety contract

    I am sorry your T had to go there. I used to have to sign them with my old T. My new T just makes me promise not to kill myself before the next session. One time he followed me to the door and called me back, (I am the last person of the day and the office is empty) and made my promise again and...
  18. Z

    Losing time in therapy session

    This happens to me all the time I've had a lot of memories and DID issues come up within the last month and a half or so. I am dissociated or at least half dissociated for almost all of my sessions now. I told my therapist that I can't remember anything he says and by the time he's finished...
  19. Z

    Dissasociate from therapist saying something positive

    Mach123...I can totally relate. I am working through a workbook on self compassion and there was a statement you were supposed to read out loud to yourself 3 times and then rate it's truth or something like that. I started hysterically crying after reading silently to myself the first time...
  20. Z

    Second dose of edmr having extreme side effects...

    I assure you what you're experiencing is totally normal. I have been doing EMDR on and off for almost six months now. We have changed the topics of what I'm working on for various reasons but I have never gotten to the positive statements yet. I will tell you that I think we almost reached the...
  21. Z

    No attachment feelings

    I read about everyone's attachment issues and I wonder what the heck is wrong with me. I am an only child who experienced multiple kinds of abuse from an early age from both parents. As a result I mainly tried to avoid everyone including my paternal grandparents who lived on the same property...
  22. Z

    Is dissociation involuntary or voluntary?

    Yes for me it can go either way. I naturally dissociate when dealing with anything difficult or when talking about anything in therapy usually, but I'm learning ways to fight it a bit. I still can't always stop it but I and sometimes able to limit how deep I go in. It is getting a bit easier...
  23. Z

    Recovery 101

    In my opinion from both my experience and from what I've read, the first steps to recovery is basically working on coping skills. I would probably start with any grounding exercises, self compassion, and mindfulness. All of those things basically help you just cope with your feelings now and...
  24. Z

    Therapy flunkie

    Maybe I should consider that maybe this is how my therapist operates. Or maybe he doesn't have the answer. The thing is, when I was questioned later on things I had learnrd in that class, I knew the answer. After a year of therapy, unfortunately, I am still clueless and certain I would receive...
  25. Z

    How much to disclose in new patient forms....

    I'm sure many will disagree but personally I would have to agree with answering the questions honestly. I mean they're still withheld to confidentiality it's not like they can share this information with anybody without you giving your permission. So why not give them all the facts up front. If...
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