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  1. ILoveLife

    Moving somewhere safe and finding a job

    Hi everyone! I plan on moving somewhere safe and finding a job soon. My mother overdid it this time, she played me, the cops, and social security - lies without a shadow of a doubt for anyone. She lost it in front of the cops while playing the victim at the same time. They told me at least I...
  2. ILoveLife

    News Researchers Doubt That Certain Mental Disorders Are Disorders At All

    https://www.forbes.com/sites/alisonescalante/2020/08/11/researchers-doubt-that-certain-mental-disorders-are-disorders-at-all/?sh=36c679cd15a6&fbclid=IwAR1GiF05u9wTSjKpAWP1Zqsmv5688GIt3UyvnRIR3LaCy5qo2G8P_zByATw "Taken together, the authors posit that anxiety, depression and PTSD may be adaptive...
  3. ILoveLife

    Healthy social network virtual interactions?

    I have a deep burning question for a long long time, not directly related to trauma. I find, after finishing trauma treatment and being on the "finding my won and own normality", that returning to social life is not like it was 7 years ago. What are healthy virtual interactions in social...
  4. ILoveLife

    Anxiety return

    Hi all, long time no read. I've been fairly active in life, studying and working in a bunch of new projects, in what I call "my journey after trauma treatment". I recently had a massive breakdown due to stress (not just the pandemic, but overwork and home situation). I was living alone (no...
  5. ILoveLife

    No more therapists for me

    Hi all, how are you? After the quarantene I started searching for a therapist because I went into a bit of a depression. I tried one who was supposedly really good, but our schedules were wack and they didn't show for the first two, and I had issues for the other two so they ended up calling...
  6. ILoveLife

    Other Drugs and poisoning

    Hi all. One of the issues I've been facing was how much responsibility I actually had in drug consumption. I never remember all the times I said no, and was persuaded to, until I eventually gave up saying no. This has been hard because I think this is equivalent to poisoning. The things I've...
  7. ILoveLife

    My mom apologized, like, a real apology.

    We were talking about writing, something she wrote. The conversation turned to things that happened and how to translate into writing and all of a sudden I just blurt a lot of things out and start sobbing until I'm out of breath and she hugged me and apologized a bunch of times for her part in...
  8. ILoveLife

    Made anonymous complaint about abusive ex

    So this was difficult but it had to be done. He's a predator of minors and I couldn't in good conscience keep this to my self. Everyone is afraid of him and so am I but in honesty I think I'm safe enough now and strong enough to be able to confront this guilt. It's a tricky situation and it...
  9. ILoveLife

    Research Collective Trauma Free Online Summit

    Here's the link: Collective Trauma Summit: 9-Day Online Event with 25+ Expert Speakers on Healing Trauma. Free to Access. There will be a Collective Trauma Healing Free Online Summit with names like Bessel Van der Kolk and others. It will be 9 days of talking basically. I'm really looking...
  10. ILoveLife

    Sleep Hygiene tips?

    Hi, insomnia has been kicking my butt for about one year. I've tried melatonin, meditation before bed, going to bed later, going to bed earlier, no electronics, ambience music, no socks, socks, warmer pj's, lighter pj's, you name it. Is there anyone here who has a good sleep hygiene process...
  11. ILoveLife

    Seeking comfort from others

    I've been thinking about internal/external comfort and how to feel more comfortable inside my body and mind, and external world too. I'm somewhat good at comforting myself, self-soothe and ground and be able to calm down by myself. But when it comes to allowing others to help me with that, I...
  12. ILoveLife

    "I hate myself"

    This is a combo post, involves the discovery of a part and the reasoning of a core belief. I discovered an evil part who hates me. Since I'm the part and the part is me, I assume I hate myself. She's genuinely evil towards me, macabre really with Disney Evil Queen laughter and everything...
  13. ILoveLife

    Tips for ending isolation

    Hi all. Not sure this is the right forum for this, sorry mods if it isn't. I've been depressed from my self-imposed 5 year isolation and other issues, those issues would be less horrible if I wasn't so isolated. I have a few ideas on my mind, but most of them will take a while to take hold...
  14. ILoveLife

    I'm crazy and they're right

    So... coming out of all the brainwashing, I've been stuck for months on this going back and forth. I actually did have a psychotic episode due to drugs that ended a few years ago and I've recovered since, it consisted of delusions mostly, my abusers were the ones who helped me go to the...
  15. ILoveLife

    Mom coming home from the hospital

    Hi all. Sorry for the big wall of text. So on Christmas Day my mom passed out and was taken to the hospital. She's there until (at least) next Wednesday or longer. I spoke to the doctor yesterday when we were deciding if she would be coming home today or wait a while, he said that it would be...
  16. ILoveLife

    Finished trauma therapy (for now)

    This just happened. Talked to T about how our sessions have been going, that I've been there just for validation that everything's fine. Everything is kinda stressful, but I'm doing well with normal ups and downs. So she said I have all the tools and resources to fly solo if I want to, and...
  17. ILoveLife

    Perfectionism

    I'm doomed!!!! This is not an apocalyptic post, that would be not perfect. @Sophy caught a huge problem in my diary - something I've been avoiding discussing here, because you're all so insightful and that scares me when the issue is serious :bag: So, basically I'm to be perfect. The...
  18. ILoveLife

    Trusting other human beings

    How to do this? Not trust in the sense of "I'll tell you my entire life story" but trust in the sense of "Ok, I'll approach you and say hello". Someone should have those amazing insights here, I'm sure. :) I have a much easier time talking to women or the elderly than to everyone else. Should...
  19. ILoveLife

    Going no contact during holidays?

    I'm currently VLC with my sisters, more with one than the other - we only talk on birthdays and Christmas. Last Christmas I decided I didn't want to spend time with them so I didn't. They didn't seem upset, kinda relieved actually. Then in February I called to give them the news my bipolar...
  20. ILoveLife

    Our dysregulation and others' dysregulation

    Hi, morning (or whatever, depending where you're at when reading this) So recently I dysregulated because my mom has been dysregulated. Usually I'm the head on the shoulders of the house, but I lost my temper for the first time in 4 years and said a bunch of things that probably should be...
  21. ILoveLife

    Listen or deny the inner critic?

    Good day, gentleman and missus. I'm here wondering how to deal with my inner critic. I've tried being compassionate towards him but it seems like it just fuels his criticism by making it okay, somehow. Maybe I'm being fake-compassionate, and that's why, he senses it :cautious: Idk... I've...
  22. ILoveLife

    What is it to have a crush?

    Hi all, good morning. So, apparently I have a crush. And I have the nasty habit of over pathologizing myself and thinking I'm being creepy for actually having feelings. Folks are telling me I'm not being creepy but I don't want to be too forward, or too shy either. I did manage a shy smile...
  23. ILoveLife

    Appreciation and self-appreciation thread

    I was thinking we could take a single moment of our day to just make a list of the things we appreciate about our lives and ourselves. I think it's really important in recovery from anything to be appreciative of the good things. So, in my life I appreciate: My routines, my pets, my...
  24. ILoveLife

    Question about people

    We were talking on a diary here about how "normal people" feel emotions. It's just daunting to realize, either there aren't any normal people or everyone kind of doens't know how to handle strong emotions. Am I thinking too black&white? Do you know any "normal people" or healthy emotionally...
  25. ILoveLife

    Chipping away remaining self-blame

    Due to addiction recovery I've been incuted that Responsibility flag, which is appropriate for responsibility over current choices and recovery, but not appropriate over being a kid who does drugs so she doesn't deal with real life. I feel the need to repeat a bunch of times that no 13 yo kid...
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