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    For men only

    Well I'm a survivor of a sexual assault when I was ten by a teen neighbor, friend of the family, and my only friend at the time. He was 14 and so much bigger, stronger than me. This memory came back to me about a year ago in full force and I'm 34 now. I knew I was ten when it happened because...
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    Sexual Assault My trauma is keeping me up. self-blame

    Hi there. Just an fyi. If you are still feeling bad and need someone to talk to there is a website called rainn.org where you can chat live with someone.
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    Sexual Assault My trauma is keeping me up. self-blame

    Thanks for sharing your story. As others have said you sharing about your trauma is an excellent step in the right direction and even if only on an internet forum for the time being. The thing I personally do when the thoughts get overwhelming is to distract myself. If I'm laying in bed I get up...
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    Undiagnosed Hello all.

    Nice to have you here. Please share as you are willing and explore the many subgroups. Welcome! :)
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    Do you have a comfort food/song/hobby/etc..?

    I love those imitation crab seafood sticks with butter and salt after a good 5 minute nuke. I'm sure I'm just eating the stuff they skim off the top after some sort of a boil at a cannery but hey I love em. I'm a huge Rammstein fan as well as a few Finnish folk groups. Hobbies are playing the...
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    Ear Worms, What Songs Stuck In Your Head Right Now?

    Little boy blue in the man in the moon...I'm gonna be like you, dad, I'm gonna be like you.
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    Sufferer New to these forums, struggling with negative self talk / self judgements

    Welcome. Glad to see you here. I think you'll find this forum is full of wonderful people who are survivors. Please vent and share your struggles when you need to. I don't find a caring mother to be stupid at all and as far as normal goes I don't think such a standard exists. Again, welcome! :)
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    Fawning and groveling, i have a hard time over-apologizing

    Say there were 20 people standing in line and I brushed up against 9 of them well I'd apologize 18 times but none really gave a darn. The only thing I can tell you is to redirect your thought process so you can feel that you are not committing any crimes. I think people like us over think such...
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    Father always makes it worse

    I think we all have different definitions of what constitutes abuse so I cannot give you a definitive answer. However, it seems clear your relationship with your father has negatively affected you. Can you put some distance between yourselves even if you live under the same roof? Is there a...
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    Sexual Assault Sexual assault questioning

    Hi there. Glad to see you here. I know from my own assault that you may have to mull it over and over for a while and don't worry about convincing yourself or anyone else as the point is that you know something inappropriate happened and you felt violated but I think now you are on the right...
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    Why do you choose to stay alive?

    I wasn't gonna reply to this thread cuz I feel icky today but the thing that keeps me going at this moment is the drive to create. Native American Flute, poetry, woodburning, whittling, concertina...non of this will work without me. I try. That's all I can do.
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    Dissociation since childhood and life of severe social/emotional isolation. is there hope?

    @Abyss95 Your life is similar to mine. In school I was bullied to the point where I just gave up hope and zoned out on autopilot. I hardly talked to anyone and the people who I thought were my friends kicked me to the curb. As far as home life goes my parents were alcoholics and there was...
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    Other Ptsd and psychosis?

    I'm not dxed (as of yet) with PTSD but I've been struggling with schizophrenia for over a decade. I have similar symptoms like yours such as moving slow, not talking, and all that fun stuff. I'm also on Zyprexa which is a good med. I've had four psych inpatient stays to boot and the only thing I...
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    I genuinely don't believe i'm good enough for anything

    Hi there. I read some of your first posts which were around this time in 2016. Is this time of the year difficult for you? I think the first thing you need to do is to identify your stressors and you can do this on your own but a trained therapist to give you input would be a major plus. Are you...
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    Were most if us seriously abused as kids,?

    My alcoholic parents were never physically abusive but I went hungry countless times when they didn't pay for school lunches and there was little emotional bonding. I'm 34 yet I'm afraid of teenage boys compliments of a sexual trauma by a 14 year old when I was ten. So we come from many walks of...
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    Sexual Assault Has anyone ever confronted their past abuser?

    I know where he lives which is ten miles from me yet I've only seen him once when I was working in my 20s at a liquor store and that was the last time since. The memory is still new as it recently came back to me but I'm gonna hash it out with my T and I feel that's all I owe myself.
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    Feeling like an intruder and wondering if my situation is valid

    I'm new as well and I can say you a very welcome. I carry a different mental health label but due to past csa I find elements of this forum very soothing and the supportive environment is nurturing. I found there are many faces of folks on this site who just want to relax and smile. Welcome!
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    Psychotic break

    I'm glad you are feeling better and that you are recognizing your need for change and acceptance among those who share similar struggles. I've dealt with psychosis myself so I understand what you believed then and how you feel now. Best wishes to you on your new journey.
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    What is your guilty pleasure?

    Well I really feel guilty for this one. Sitting in the shower under a steamy stream that makes my life somewhat bearable for a half hour. I feel guilty because all utilities and such are included in my super low rent efficiency apartment. Poor landlady hasn't raised my rent and I do that to her.
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    Derealization episode. this sucks.

    Did the park help you? I also go to the park though being emotional paralyzed in bed is such a horrible place to be in. I need meds to function but I find comfort in the T sessions. Do you have one coming up or considering starting?
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    Anyone taken more than one kind of anti depressant at same time?

    Klonopin is a wonderful drug. I really didn't have any addiction issues as I was on the minimum dose. But the way I've been feeling the past five days I may need a Valium or something.
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    Anyone taken more than one kind of anti depressant at same time?

    I was on both Wellbutrin and Prozac and I suffered a seizure as Wellbutrin lowers the seizure threshold. I'm just on Prozac now though I was on the maximum dose of Wellbutrin.
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    It's the job...

    Your reason is the best reason. Please take care of yourself and the younglings.
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    Write a happy story in 3 words

    Twas brillig and....
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    It's the job...

    Yes a medical leave is a great idea. I did it twice,when I was working at a job that required me to listen to people scream in my earpiece and being called names and then me having to kiss their butts in return. Eventually I had had enough and left without notice. I'm more important than people...
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