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    The fear of not being able to get help.

    I'm so sorry for what you're dealing with!! It sounds too much for anyone's body to process! Is going to a safe house an option, so that you can get help with housing, medical, disability claim, etc?? It's possible your PTSD is through the roof because you've experienced more trauma than many...
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    Waking up every day with anxiety, last all day, anyone have this - hoping therapy will help

    Noticed diet and caffeine def has negative effect on the all day anxiety thing, something I've dealt with for a long time. Just now really noticing what my all triggers are, as before I'd get super anxious and just think wtf? When I'm not careful about the diet thing and chugging coffee...
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    Dom Violence Why do we keep going back?

    I have a somewhat different take on the whole returning to abusers thing. A lot of DV survivors are also survivors of child abuse. We're looking so hard to create a new healthy family but we were never taught. Abusers are always on the prowl for broken people pleasers because we're the folks...
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    When grounding leaves you flooded with being raped feelings

    @Disco Dancing Queen Game of Thrones series. Epic, amazing production values and utterly violent. I'm a big fan of adventure, thriller, war type genres but when I'm feeling vulnerable and triggered I totally lay off. Go for the sweet goofy happy ending stuff. Or watch stand up comedy. Oh...
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    Husband is clinging and staring me down

    Any support groups in your area like women's centers, Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families (don't know if that was an issue for you growing up, but even dysfunctional relationships are a family) LGBT support? Anywhere you can find someone who gets what you're struggling with and...
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    When grounding leaves you flooded with being raped feelings

    @DiscoDancingQueen. that sounds really tough. Like grounding is somehow putting you more in contact with those memories stored in your body. I know when I get triggered I often reach for comfort food and that will end up making me feel worse and worse later on. So frustrating!! I have found...
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    Anyone else just feel exhausted?

    Yes, absolutely. After an insanely long wait, I got a sleep study done and found out I have apnea and got one of those weird little machines. Hoping that helps cause poor sleep is a huge issue in feeling exhausted. But w/PTSD it makes sense to be exhausted. Being on high alert alone is...
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    Housing trouble

    That really sucks Rad. Sounds like mobbing behavior, no wonder you feel triggered. Hope you can find a cool place soon to move into . Cool roomies are the best. Hope you can find that or may be just a place of your own. That can be great too. Best of luck!! Hang in there!
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    Assault Still receiving threats from assailants

    @Littlebirdy44 omg I am so sorry to hear about what you've been going through!! Sometimes the police response can be callous. It differs from person to person. If you can go the a woman's center and ask for help you might get a name or two of officers that might be more responsive. There is...
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    Complex trauma or developmental trauma

    @Moo sometimes it can seem a more intense diagnosis can then justify the distress we're feeling. The reality is that different therapists have different perspectives and you could end up with a number of different diagnosis that may or may not fit. Being dysregulated can be intensely painful...
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    Freaking out - going to psych pa

    @Freida - Love your script! Sounds like a slightly sarcastic Data delivering the lines. Too funny. I do find that helpful, thinking up possible weirdness and possible responses. Helps calm down that catastrophic thinking.
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    Last movie or tv series you watched?

    Hunt for the Wilderpeople--about this funny super defiant foster kid and his crazy ass foster uncle who get lost in the New Zealand bush and what they discover about themselves there. Awesome, highly recommend.
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    Therapy questions for lcsw

    Not to overload you as you have been given so many great suggestions here. You might think also what kind of style you like: i.e. warm and engaging vs something more analytical and quiet? I found that promptness wasn't an issue but a cluttered office was. A lot of people would feel the exact...
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    Avoiding my life

    Helps to have a change of scenery, but changing living situations all the time can get hella $$ I like traveling and I'm in a good place to do that cheaply. I like living as minimally as possible so I can have those extra funds to travel. But yeah, I'm always thinking about a plan b. I feel...
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    Is there a word for this?

    I think people cast blame as a way to feel more in control. It's easier than living with the reality that people make the tragic choice to end their lives without giving others a chance to intervene. I'm sorry that you had to experience that. It must be very isolating. Hang in there.
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    Sexual Assault Has anyone ever confronted their past abuser?

    @hodge - I am so sorry you had to go through that. Thank god your family was there and police came and got him.
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    Sexual Assault Has anyone ever confronted their past abuser?

    I would think that in many situations it would be dangerous. Especially if you're dealing with stalking and other criminal behavior. I have confronted abusers in semi-safe conditions, i.e. they were down on their luck, and thus as receptive as they were ever going to be. I guess there was a...
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    Is this really ptsd?

    Maybe it makes more sense to think of it as going into remission, which can kinda feel like a cure, but definitely isn't the same. EMDR and CBT are great (that's what I've found works best, along with good self-care) but there is also something to be said for simply grieving our losses too...
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    I don’t know what to make of what my therapist said

    Seems like she does believe you, but you wanted it to be more emphatic. I get that. I personally think having that emphatically stated belief is an important part of healing After all, a lot of trauma is made all the more unbearable because of a lack of validation and disbelief. That said...
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    Therapist controlling sessions?

    I'd follow your intuition. Therapists are like any other service provider, there are good ones and bad ones. There is also the other issue with "fit", meaning how the therapist's style meshes with yours. That said a lot of therapists like to dig around in people's childhoods because a lot...
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    Please don't use olanzapine

    Yep, a pianist who contracted Meniere's. A condition most commonly associated with vertigo, tinnitus, and hearing loss. Go figure? Okaaay.
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    Please don't use olanzapine

    I've seen an anecdotal account of a musician who contracted severe Menniere's (ringing in ears combined with dizziness, hearing loss) after a period of severe stress (not PTSD). He found a way to bring it into remission with an interesting and rather exacting protocol of diet, meds, and...
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    Childhood Strong willed child/train up a child victims

    Oh god I remember Dobson. And Hour of Power, CBN, Bill Gothard, Maranatha, Jerry Falwell and several Jesus camps for good measure. Good times. No wonder I turned to sex, drugs and rock and roll :) And ditto on the "break your spirit" thing. Love the Brother Ali line: "Try and separate a man...
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    Relationship with your therapist

    I love the relationship I have with my therapist. We see the world in a similar fashion so I think that helps. I'm pretty open with her, but I do censor some things like trying not to curse so much (she never complains but it's not her style) and not to talk too much about about my self...
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    Husband read my journal w/o permission

    That is so tough, to have your private sanctuary invaded like that. And at an intense time during your therapy. You handled setting boundaries around this issue well. Wish you luck as you figure out a way to heal from this and regain trust.
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